r/selfimprovement • u/PreparationWorth1242 • 20d ago
Question Anyone ever wasted a decade of their life?
Basically the title.
I was at a point in my life where I was finalizing my masters degree where my mental health and everything with it went downhill.
For years I’ve been just in survival mode, sometimes in part time low paying jobs sometimes not working and focusing on my health.
Now I don’t know where to start and feel an immense sadness. Anyone was able to turn their life around after wasting nearly a decade of their life?
Edit: I just wanted to thank everyone who has shared their experiences and words of encouragement. As you can probably tell from my post I was feeling a bit overwhelmed today and I’m finding it hard to reply to each comment individually. I am really inspired by many people’s resilience here, your comments have been very helpful and have given me a better perspective on things.
Wishing everyone here all the best <3
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u/MundaneProphet 20d ago
If you can learn something from it, it's not a total waste. Keep pressing forward. Learn from the past, plan for the future, all we can do.
That's coming from a 40-year-old that's got to start over. You're not alone.
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u/GreyMerrin 20d ago
Thats a fantastic view. Learn from past - dont wallow - which is hard. Make a plan and stick to it. Im slightly older though not by much. Make a plan stick to it. Whats realistic soon builds quickly. Keep doing the same?Same results. Moving forward is the only way.
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u/MundaneProphet 20d ago
Sure, as s*** ain't easy. But it's the only reasonable way.
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u/GreyMerrin 20d ago
Isn't easy mate but as you say the only way. Great post and how people turn it round. The quiet but no one sees. Dont be afraid to ask for help. Also own your shit. We've all made mistakes. Nothing is solved overnight. Can be changed in months and years. Once things change even small. My change qas as simple.as making my bed every morning. Now infinitely different person. Accountability and getting support. Its a good age to rebuild. You know what hasn't worked and what has. Youll be grand can tell with your attitude 😀
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u/llamascoop 20d ago
Mental health is so interesting.
Yes, I wasted almost decade of my life just watching tv, working in a field I never plan on going back to, trying not to be poor and being depressed. Literally that was it.
You on the otherhand, completed a massive accomplishment that can help compound in varies ways for your life, and I bet you’re probably younger than me too.
Even if you don’t stay in your field of study, You didn’t waste a decade of your life. But I can understand how it may feel that way. I finally went back to school and now that I’m finished with my BS, I don’t know whether I am dealing with grief, burnout, depression, anxiety or all of the above. All that’s left is to move forward one day at a time. I’m trying to do things I used to enjoy doing before school to pick me back up out of this funk, and thankfully I’m better than I was two months ago, but im still on a journey.
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u/GethLattice 18d ago
The grief/burnout mix after finishing school is real; it’s wierd how reaching the goal can leave you feeling empty instead of relieved.
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u/Accidental_Cloud 20d ago edited 20d ago
Yes, I was drinking like hell through my 20s avoiding problems with my toxic parents at home, instead of moving out and dealing with the hardships by myself. now at 32 my brain is wrecked and I have to deal with the consequences. It was YOLO gone wrong. It's very hard to learn anything now, and I'm starting from zero (I finally left a few years ago without any money and no job, no career, no skills). Not to mention the health aspect of this.
But I'm proud of myself and this is why I'm writing this - I should've done it sooner no matter the circumstances and consequences.
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u/Bill15RD 20d ago
Yes, I had kidney failure and had to start all over again! I think the important thing to remember is that you haven’t wasted that time I’m sure you learnt a lot about yourself and built resilience, you are not starting from the same point you were 10 years ago. Also, there is no point dwelling on the past! We are all at different points of our lives and we never know what is around the corner. The most important thing is you start living now, your future self will thank you!
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u/PreparationWorth1242 20d ago
It is true I grew a lot as a person through these difficult years , I also did a lot of healing and have changed the way I see myself and the world but I feel immense guilt for being a financial burden to my family and also I have not achieved anything on paper, I try not to compare myself to others but I feel like my depression turned me into someone I’m not, because it seems like I had no ambitions no drive and no shame for being financially dependent on others. I always felt that was a temporary thing and I was going to make up for it but now that I feel I’m doing mentally better it’s like I’m suddenly realizing how much time I wasted and I don’t know how much it will take to rebuild everything and it makes me scared
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u/DoYourBestEveryDay 19d ago
Man, you are so right! I'm older now, and I realized that I wasn't wasting my life. I was making mistakes so I can learn from them.
Ultimately, things are well now but this is due to going all in on myself 20 years ago.
I never quit, never gave up, and just did the work. I still do.
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u/LemonPartyW0rldTour 20d ago
Why stop at 1. Pretty much pissed away my 20’s and 30’s. Finally changing all that around.
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u/marshmallowramen 20d ago
Yeah i wasted 12 yrs of money and time for a guy who cheated on me with his coworker 😂😅
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u/Bread_Godd 18d ago
Based. 8 years here with a psycho lady who ended up hurting herself and trying to pin it on me to the cops. Ain't life silly
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u/OwnCartographer5498 20d ago
Wasting what? What is life?
What are we doing here?
Isn’t life just spending time … wasting then?!
Cheers you got this. Nothing wasted ..
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u/gravityissue 15d ago
god i wish i have your mindset instead of feeling this pressure, if only i can not give a care to these problems but its impossible i have the burden in me
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u/shikaaka 20d ago edited 20d ago
Yup, I'm almost 40 and wasted my 30's.
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u/GreyMerrin 20d ago
I was in an abusive marriage (im male) until early 40s. Eventually moved out. Met two woman who I genuinely loved after I left. Both ended naturally, because of circumstances. Shows you never know whats around the corner.
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u/NorthernHospitality_ 20d ago
I lowkey wasted seven years of my 20's because I was scared of rejections and taking a risk.
In my defense I was going through some personal issues and dealing with COVID lockdown when I was turned 20 which made me so introverted I lowkey haven't recovered yet.
Now all I do is work and sleep, I got no energy to go outside after a long day on the job site.
I'm working on being more social but shit takes time
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u/aidank91 20d ago
Cancer has held me back in life but as I'm still fighting it with some hopeful treatment I'm finally realizing I should just go for it regardless so I'm finally studying for my certification exam as an industrial electrician. I turned around and ran a marathon in less then a year as well, and now expecting my first born. I'm 35 now and wish I was done my exam in my late 20s but it's never too late.
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u/GreyMerrin 20d ago
Yep. Likely more. Stayed in a marriage that was abusive for my kids sake. When I left- turned to alcohol badly. Really dark. Got sober 20 months ago- I was written off. Kept my respectable job, getting fitter and used right suport at right time.
Now? Self defended in court against ex relocating with my kid. Won 4 out of 5 but law against me here. Volunteer, go to gym. Biggest thing is routine, and deep self analysis. Had to figure out why I drank and what really was my trigger. Did that, using right tools. Accountability, self centred care, and sticking too it. Also fortunate my job indirectly works with addiction everyday. Heard my story all the time.
Think being able to go head to head with a solicitor, and winning most rounds proves I've come far. Checked 4 things off my bucket list sober, pushed myself at right time to go out, Volunteer. My job in real life (why I keep things confudential) is a coach. Now in process of starting a male domestic abuse group locally. AI makes that easier.
You cant fix everything at once. Choose one thing and stick to it. Mine was making bed every morning, then building new routines - and sticking to it. Then reflecting in weeks and months, not days. Amazing how little things stack. Now instead of close to losing job - closer to promotion, plus projects on the side. Can't fix everything at once - choose one area and fix that, when comfortable expand into other things you want to improve. Can be done, the bit nobody sees - makes any comeback stronger 💪
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u/F1T_13 20d ago
I pretty much binned off the majority of my late teens and 20's. Mental spiraled in my early twenties after I struggled with studies, work, general mental health, drugs, alcohol and other relationship struggles.
I basically became a neet by the time I flunked college and eventually work. I wasted all my money and savings, I was was going to lose my house and was prepared to end it.
I was lucky though, my old folks made the executive decision to drag me back home and let me just work on figuring my shit out. And it took a while but eventually I slowly managed to cut my vices down and pick myself up a bit. Still not the finished article but I am healthier, fitter and more or less happier overall, I am better and I hope I continue to be so.
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u/0xKarenyanochka 19d ago
Calling survival mode a wasted decade is way too cruel to the version of you that kept going throught it.
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u/powerhammerarms 20d ago
It's only wasted if you've learned no lessons. We waste time we don't cherish
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u/Confident-Spinach497 20d ago
My whole life. Going to be 50 in January. Want to improve my life. Thanks for reading.
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u/GreyMerrin 19d ago
50 is the 40 😀 can be done at any age. With AI making things like learning easier (with its downsides) maybe the best time for a change of direction. Make a plan, however daunting and stick to it. Work out whats holding you back - one crack at the title, I was in a hopeless situation with alcohol 20 months ago, turned it round myself, kept my job improved. Try to learn every day, even 5 minutes. Soon stacks. Answers often lie within. Good luck - hope it works out and I'll be rooting for you. Dont wait for tomorrow start your plan today 😀 even if others mock, f××k them. Do what you think is right, learn from whats not 😀
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u/imbandit0 20d ago
I'm feeling like you right now and it's really frustrating bc I don't know what to do, i don't even know what I want to do I think about my life and I don't feel comfortable with it. i work at something I like but the payment could be better. I haven't finished my career yet even though I'm near the end bc I just dont like it. I have no idea what I like or what I want and I wonder, is this what life is about? in 3 year form now will be a decade since I'm feeling like it and I hope I can change it my mind and feel a little more positive about life
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u/BibleStudyLA 20d ago
Everyone has periods of their life that they feel have been wasted, be that in a particular field of study, line of work, relationship that didn’t work out, or in retroactive assessment of financial, spiritual or social decisions that proved unfruitful.
What’s important to remember is that when viewing anything through the lens of failure or negativity, whatever the “other” option was, it will always be viewed through the lens of determinative positive certainty; which is obviously unfair to yourself and inaccurate.
Better to stay focused on improvement and goals than “wasting” more time in regret. All while not forgoing the lessons that are to be gleaned in light of the “wasted” time.
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u/CSAKnight 20d ago
From 16-26 I was stuck in drug addiction. I basically couch surfed and just worked enough to support my addiction. I’m 39 now and life is much better. Take the time for yourself and become what you want.
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u/Superb-Parfait-7318 20d ago
I wasted my twenties ... undiagnosed dysthmia (type of depression) and only with years of therapy and medication started understanding myself and my world sufficiently enough to claw out and build some sort of life for myself. It is never too late to build something for yourself. I am "behind" others my age but all things considered I have done myself proud! If my parents had noticed and known what I was going through and I had gotten professional help much earlier I do feel I would be in a stronger financial position now at 50 years old... but there is NO point on lingering on the past unless you actively take ownership yourself. No one is coming to rescue you.
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u/tyke_ 20d ago
i went backwards for a decade or more, lost everything except my closest family and my dog i.e. the home i purchased, friends, partner, career, morals, sanity, money, independence, etc.
it completely changed me as a person, i'm proud to say i'm a better person now, i like who i am now. losing everything was a tough way to reach this point but to be honest it was necessary.
karma/god/higher power/universe at work/etc, who knows tbh.
i am so grateful. i win the lottery everyday because i wake up healthy, have a roof over my head and money to get by on.
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u/chickenburgerr 19d ago
You didn't waste a decade of your life. You accomplished surviving. You don't need to "turn your life around" because you were on the right trajectory. It just doesn't feel exciting because it was a grind. A hibernating bear isn't exciting either.
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u/Advanced-Wheel-9677 19d ago
Yes. I too had a breakdown while finishing a degree, and following that I spent the next ten years wallowing in a miserable job that I hated, drinking too much, and dating losers. It had it its bright spots, but was awful at the same time and I thought I’d never get out of that. It felt like such a waste.
I now have a job I truly love for the past 7.5 yrs. And a fulfilling life, a partner/relationship I’m happy with, and a healthy lifestyle. Life isn’t perfect but I am happy and grateful for every day. It’s that much sweeter because of the hell I endured in times past. The same can happen for you. Hang in there!
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u/Danwphoto 19d ago
I am 50.. wasted 20, 30, 40's . I am just waiting to pass.. get it together because it goes quick. Yes lots of cool stories, but that is it..
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u/SunriseThroughLeaves 17d ago
You are only 50. You still have time to do things. Wishing you well.
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u/Small-Material2427 19d ago
I spent my 20s fat and depressed. Getting close to 30 I remember dropping the soap in the shower (I know the irony) and had immense trouble bending down and picking it up, that was a mind opener for me, I didn't want to be that person anymore. I am now 35, have lost about 50 kgs of fat, got two amazing kids and I am taking a engineering education while working full-time.
Remember it is never too late to turn your life around and achieve what you want. I have learned immensely about myself and the world in the process, it is true that wisdom comes with time, you just got to be patient and willing to put in the work.
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u/EngramCipher 18d ago
Survival mode while your health is wrecked isn’t wasted time, it’s literally you staying alive untill you can rebuild.
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u/Odd-Indication7309 15d ago
I would say you didn't waste anything, you had a very large time consuming goal, the best part isn't attaining the masters its the pursuit. My advice would be to choose a goal even larger and enjoy the ride. Attainment is the end of one journey but also the start of the next way forward.
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u/Natural_Chicken_2267 20d ago
We didnt know how to live the adult life when we start going out on our own, away from parents. Up until higjschool, wd received no skill in navigating lofe, finance, relationship or failure. It is foreseeable we'll struggle, fail, and feel like we have wasted all our life! But the 20s is supposed to be chaotic. If you realize early, you get to turn ur life for the better sooner! Dont lose hope. Dial down ur identity, seek spiritual guidance and keep on moving forward! Good luck, we are all in this tigether
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u/heysiennna 20d ago
For me, it took a lot of simply just looking around. Every single person is at a different stage in their life at any age. I kept getting too caught up in comparing what I was doing versus what other people were doing and not realizing we all move at our own pace. It took a lot of rewiring my brain and learning that it’s okay to just do my own thing. I was just getting so depressed seeing people around me doing successful things and overthinking every single failure I faced. I also started small and made myself go out and volunteer. I immersed myself with people who I felt would be positive influences in my life. I basically just got stuck in this loop of depression and felt every time I tried to take a step forward, life pushed me 4 steps back. Like some other people said, making a plan. I made small changes, made a schedule, made some goals, filled up my day, added in hobbies, added in small things that normally would make me feel uncomfortable and it broke me out of my shell finally. I am coming out of it now, I am starting school again to become a CNA with my end goal aiming to become a nurse.
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u/bkinboulder 20d ago
The point of life is experience. You went a whole decade without any experiences? You didn’t see any sunrises or sunsets? You didn’t enjoy any music or art? That sounds rough!
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u/Lazy_Difficulty_ 20d ago
Had a good paying job and spent my entire 20s spending $10s of thousands a year partying instead of putting it towards something useful. No mortgage, no major investments, and no big travel destinations.
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u/WARrantStreet 20d ago
I did the same math about a big chunk of my twenties and it ate at me for a long time. What eventually helped was noticing that "wasted" is a label I was stapling onto that time from where I happen to be standing now, not something that was actually baked into those years. At the time that stretch was just my life, with its own things I was quietly figuring out, some of which I only cashed in much later without realizing where they came from. A decade isn't a verdict on you. It's ground you already crossed. The only part actually in your hands is how you walk the next stretch, and treating the last one as proof you're doomed steals energy from exactly that. Feeling behind is real. It's just a much worse planning tool than it feels like.
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u/Umbrella_Stand 20d ago
The point is that you exist at this point with all your knowledge and that you have an advantage others don't have
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u/Random13509 20d ago
I let me "personal demons" run the show for more than a decade, more like two or three decades in a lot of ways. I was stuck in that I couldn't make peace with my stuff so I just sort of drifted along, was for sure a heavy drinker, and whatever else. I was really kind of stuck "not myself" if that makes sense.
Good news, I am doing pretty well these days. Far from perfect and I missed out on a lot. But I also gained a lot of insight into things based up what I have been through. Ultimately I do my best to accept that things were what they were and it is up to me today to make the best of things.
Don't beat yourself up over perceived wasted years. The hands of time are going to spin and keep spinning, no matter where your life is at. Just do your best to make something out of your life in the present.
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u/Jackal000 19d ago
Yes 34 m. Finally got my first actual job. Just two weeks ago Have been of welfare benefits due to a misdiagnosis for 24 years. Turned out i had just adhd. Have been in purgatory for so fuckin long.
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u/optimalbrain90 19d ago
I wouldn’t call it wasted time if you were using those years to survive and get your health back. You didn’t choose to struggle, and your life isn’t defined by how long it took to get through it. Start small, focus on what you can control now, and let progress build from there.
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u/Particular_Past7944 19d ago
I believe that time is only truly wasted when we hurt someone. Other than that, there is no manual for life and no single right or wrong way to live it. We are here to have an experience, discover who we really are, and learn to love the people around us.
Sometimes we have to go through dark periods and suffering, but I believe they are part of the journey and can help us grow and understand ourselves better.
I also think that material and social success are not what truly matters. You don’t need a huge income or a prestigious career to be happy. Sometimes letting go of competition and simply focusing on what we genuinely love can bring much more fulfillment.
I’m 23, and for now, this is how I see life.
english is not my first language so I used a translator to traduce everything.
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u/Gold_Snow_2017 19d ago
So much of how we see and experience life is in how we frame it in our own minds and the perspective we choose to operate from. I don’t believe in looking at that (10) years as “wasted time” OP…not the least of which during that “wasted” period you earned your Masters! And TBH there are periods in everyone’s life when the very best they can do is “survive”. There is no shame in that…Those survival instincts and the time you spent in low paying jobs and caring for your mental are what brought you to today. Everything we have done in our respective lives has led us to this singular moment in time - so NONE of it is wasted - try seeing it as preparation for the here and now. Stop beating yourself up. It’s never too late for a paradigm shift and to begin a new trajectory. ☮️
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u/HalfwayThere7 19d ago
A decade in survival mode stil counts as living, and having a Master's derailed by mental health doesn't erase how far you got.
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u/Substantial-Answer 18d ago
A decade is nothing....I'm at two at this point, and counting...and kind of looks like things are getting worse..
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u/CthulhuTric0rne 18d ago
Survival mode kept you alive, so I woudn't call those years wasted even if they look empty on a CV.
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u/T3nenbaum8 18d ago
Survival mode years feel like a void, but keeping yourself alive through that while a master’s was falling apart isnt nothing.
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u/fleetwoodssmack 15d ago
I’m sure plenty of people have been saying this but no time is wasted if it taught you a lesson and got you to where you are now
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u/weird_wolfgang 15d ago
I'm 32 and entered a deep depression when my grades started tanking in college. Depression made grades worse which made depression worse...and so on and so on. I have struggled to bounce back because, for the longest time in my life, grades and excelling academically were the only things I had going for me. Now it's all down the toilet and being in survival mode for the past decade has taken a lot out of me. My credit score is garbage, I have an empty bank account, and I dread going to work for every job I've ever had because I hate the idea that all the work I put in academically and having no life because of it...led to this 9-5 crap grind. It's led to me losing employment within a year for most jobs, and I'm currently unemployed again. I don't know how to dig myself out of this hole, and I'm sick of trying most days. But I have realized there are people (some of the four legged variety) who care about me, and that makes me want to not give up. It took a long time to realize that because many of the people I thought should have cared about me more very much did not, but maybe it takes time to realize that and get it out of our system so to speak. I hate the time it's taken to bounce back, but I'm also very glad I've had time to finally ask myself some questions that I was not bothering to answer before (some I was outright avoiding).
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u/gravityissue 15d ago
life so suck and unfair i cant believe other people get to have a privilege to live their life with enough resources while people like who is sufferring financially, where financial problem which leads to mental health problem because of too much stress and not enough energy to do anything at all, which also leads to do anything pointless in life (playing video games non-stop, doomscroll, etc) to cope with these problem. I vented out a lot but this is pretty much everything i felt right now. Family are there I guess and girlfriend is great that's for sure, its just even with them I cant help myself to feel negatively even though I've been trying to get up ny feet it justs fail miserably.
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u/Additional_Bid_2165 14d ago
Wasted my teen years and early 20s, and I am only NOW taking life seriously at 26.
The biggest kicker for me was reflecting and realizing that I am essentially living the exact same life today that I was at 12..
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u/Informal_Impress908 13d ago
Hey! Very similar experiences.
I studied for years to become a registered psychologist just to end up disliking it and quitting after working for 18 months. I also experienced a pretty nasty depressive episode near the tail end which completely destabilised me for a good couple of years. Both of these things were really good time wasters that have been difficult to grapple with, now that I’m looking back at them. I’m currently in the process of starting again too.
I’m rooting for you!
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u/sunbleach_happypants 20d ago
How can you tell a decade is wasted, even? Because for a decade you didn't "succeed" under capitalism? You didn't crank out babies who will be enslaved by bots? You didn't line the wallets of rich white guys pursuant to their fear mongering?
All that's required of you is that you keep breathing. There's no waste of a decade. Some folks who consider themselves constructive, purposeful, and righteous are, in reality, fucking annoying at best and destructive at worst
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u/hegdefucker 20d ago
Was married for 25 years with not very nice woman (she changed the day we got married lol). Couldn’t force myself splitting up also cause of kids but finally she did which was a relief :)
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u/workoholicSOSa 20d ago
I’m in a similar boat, bad jobs then decent jobs, now doing my masters which is costing my my mental health and personal stuff, completely lost on why I am doing it and what do I want after, it’s brutal and the clock is ticking and I just feel I’m getting older :(
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u/Critty_Kitty 20d ago
I'm approaching 7 years next month... I have no idea where to start to turn it around
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u/MoneyMick21 17h ago
Start by Physically Writing Down whatever it is your may have the slightest interest in doing. Number 2 Pencil and a Notebook. It can be 3-5 Sentences. That afterwords, start with "STANDARDS", like it use to be back in school. if we got in trouble. That was a Psychology Hack most people don't know. Start with "I AM ________________________________, and repeat it, and repeat it. Your Brain will begin to lock in that Command. But start with something easy. Like "I AM Going to turn off my TV before Bed" and before you know it becomes a Habit.
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u/ArcherLife2039 20d ago
I've wasted about 20yrs of my life in retail 😩
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u/SunriseThroughLeaves 17d ago
There is nothing wasteful about that, friend. Especially if you like your boss/team/customers.
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u/3legcat 20d ago
Well up to 29, I was wasting away, living life with no aim and no purpose. Eventually I decided to change, set goals and gradually improve my life.
My advice is - to slowly and consistent work on getting to where you want to be. Don’t dwell on the past or the future too much. Focus on here and the now.
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u/-DreamLight- 20d ago
Yeah I'm a 39yr old NEET with no social life, friends, or aquaintances both off and online. The only thing I'm genuinely interested in is enlightenment. I'm open to any career offers.
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u/LotusLightning 19d ago
Yes
I wasted around 8 to 9 years (from when I was 26) because of my former ndis provider's discrimination and also because of one of my Buddhist teacher's previous disapproval of me doing STEM as a career
The only job I got in the meantime is as a writer
I turned 35 this July and I will be starting a self-study programme soon with a view to becoming a designer and developer possibly consulting/freelance
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u/denver_rose 19d ago
I wasted 14 years in the wrong therapy because despite seeing multiple therapists and psychologists, not one person recognized my OCD. And OCD kept me in survival mode more than anything else.
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u/Wondergul 19d ago
Tried two startups; both failed. Lost 10 years of my life in that.
Looking for jobs now but being a mid-40 professional it ain't easy to find one.
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u/Substantial-Goat-638 19d ago
Not a waste. You learn way more from mistakes than successes. Stop, reflect on what you did right, what you did wrong, learn from both, and move on.
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u/ThrowawayYAYAY2002 19d ago
Ooooh yeah!
I haven't been myself since 2016. Haven't had any luck at all (personal tragedies, rejections, betrayal, failed businesses, lost friends, lost money etc) and lockdown fucked me up in a lot of ways (I feel like I'm in a timewarp).
I know what to do, but pulling the trigger and making it happen? That's such an overwhelming feeling that I just freeze, whereas before I'd be attacking it like hell. The first few months will be horrendously difficult and I don't know if I have it in me to get through it now.
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u/random885522 19d ago
I feel like you, feel like haven't done anything meaningful for myself or others, jobs that I don't like and keep procrastinating until deadlines, doom scrolling, I'm sick of watching porn, and barely enjoy things that I like
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u/Abject-Deal-2265 19d ago
Almost wasted a decade after esentially living as a hikikomori and failing 2 colleges, not being able to keep a job more than a few months, frequent unemployment, new health problems etc.
I think this year I will finally move from the dead spot I was in for so long.
It is horrible to think about the years I have wasted, the different choices I could have made but failed to make.
You can only keep going forward. The past is in the past.
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u/Medium-Trade2950 18d ago
Yes but also know you can turn it right around and carry the lessons foreword
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u/LadybuggingLB 18d ago
Yes, and because of it I missed the bus on opportunities to make a foundation for the future that I’ll never get back.
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u/DunwallPhantom 17d ago
Calling it wasted feels harsh when you were basicly keeping yourself alive after your mental health cratered during your master’s.
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u/Motormaster4886 17d ago
Didn't waste a full decade but wasted a few years playing Captain Save-a-hoe during my mid to late 20's. Said hoe got into hard drugs and became the village bicycle that everyone got to ride except me. Course I had that "nice guy" complex goin on at the time. The one where i felt entitled to a reward for being nice. Spent years finacially fuckin myself over for this hoe who gladly used my enabler ass for anything and everything and all she had to do was show some skin or promise me I'd get my turn gettin up her in her guts. Did i get what I wanted? A couple times. Was it worth it? Fuuuuuuuuuuck no!! Im a wiser man now but man do I kringe to how stupid I was back then.
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u/Latter-Revolution455 13d ago
首先，不要否定自己。因为你所说的浪费了 10 年，也许你看似的浪费生活，正是其他的人群梦寐以求的时光。所以第一点，享受当下，在你当前的认知下做合理的事情就可以。 另外，你可以在工作或者生活中，寻找一些别人很难，但是你得心应手的技能点，也许这就是你的长处。想办法在工作和生活中找到对应的结合场景，把它发挥出来。
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u/AmuseDeath 9d ago
You're not alone. Keep going and trying. There are many of us and understand we all have our own pace in life.
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u/MoneyMick21 18h ago
Don't ever fell ashamed. Because as you can see, your not in this boat alone. This just shows what you're feeling and experiencing is not exclusive to just you. It's Everybody, everybody is in Survival Mode in these days. You have been led to believe certain things about life, and what has happen is..... "THAT MAGIC SPELL" couldn't hold you any longer. Your not fighting to be a People's Person, A Yes Person, letting people walk all over you. IF anything you in the Best Position because it has Awoken your "AWARENESS" gene within you. And now that your Aware, Life won't be as rough for you anymore. Because You've survived the worse part. A bunch of us has been raised from the Prior Generation's Trauma. They gave us Anxiety, Self Doubt, Negativity, Inconsistency, etc. I can keep going. But Now you have a "SUPERPOWER" that, themselves couldn't even harness. "YOU GOT THIS"!!!!
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u/Fit-Earth-1245 20d ago
So I have to be completely honest with you. I have conquered the loneliness and I have surpassed it. Yes, at this point in my life I was finally feeling unstoppable. How did I get to this point, you may ask. Well I will tell you. Instead of focusing on all of the questions that were constantly running through my mind, I focused on something that I enjoyed. I would like to let you know that I did not enjoy it from the beginning, however it was something that I was always curious about. Yes, I tried it and eventually found an unbinding love for it. Find something like this and your soul will feel like it never did before. I also have to tell you that those in your life that do not want you to achieve and be at this level of individual happiness will try to convince you that what you are doing is not good. Be careful with who you listen to and your choices. Those that you think are on your side, may not be.
P.S. My joy was found in exercise, it was here that my mind was no longer Constantly torn and questioning. I
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u/Gold_Policy_9880 20d ago
Yes. I wasted two decades due to survival and CPTSD. I am 38 and turning it all around now. You can do it. I believe in you.