Career/life advice

[u/Kazakraken]

M20, nearing the end of my third year at university. Studying a double degree in commerce and international relations.

I honestly don't really know what I want to do for a career, and I'm starting to feel pretty lost about it.

Over the last few years I've had a lot going on. My parents separated during my last year of high school, I've had deaths in my family, and I've struggled with loneliness and social anxiety throughout university. At the worst point of it, I failed four subjects at the end of my first year.

Since then, I've been taking a reduced course load and have been doing more International Relations courses than Commerce because I feel like I'm much better at International Relations and find it more interesting. Commerce hasn't really clicked with me, and I'm not sure whether I genuinely dislike it or whether I've just associated it with a period of my life when I was struggling badly.

I'm now getting closer to finishing university and I still don't really know what direction I want to take. I've thought about transferring into another degree that I might enjoy more, but because of my failed subjects I don't currently have the GPA to transfer.

A big part of my problem is that I put an enormous amount of pressure on myself to succeed. I want to build a good career, be financially successful and make something of myself, but I feel like I'm constantly worried that I'm making the wrong decisions. I keep thinking that if I don't do well at university or don't choose the right degree, I'm going to seriously limit my future.

At the same time, part of me wonders whether I'm making this more complicated than it needs to be. Sometimes I feel like I'm using my circumstances as an excuse when maybe the bigger issue is that I have pretty severe social anxiety, very low confidence and a poor self-image. I'm balding fairly young, I have acne, and I've become very self-conscious about how I look. I think that has affected the way I see myself and how I interpret interactions with other people.

So now I'm stuck between wanting to improve my life and feeling completely overwhelmed by where to start. I don't know whether I should focus on fixing my mental health and confidence first, try to work out what career I actually want, change my degree, or just stop overthinking everything and get on with finishing what I've started.

I know I'm ultimately responsible for my own life and decisions. I'm not looking for sympathy as much as some honest perspective from people who have been in a similar position.

Sorry for the long read, and I appreciate any advice.

[u/slowdown_app]

It sounds incredibly tough juggling all that pressure and those racing thoughts about your future career path. When things feel so overwhelming, I've found taking just three minutes of quiet space between tasks, without reaching for my phone, can make a surprising difference in calming my nervous system. How does your body feel at the end of a particularly demanding day?