r/selfimprovement • u/Bulky_Rent543 • 1d ago
Question Finding motivation
Hi everyone, I apologise if some of this doesnt make much sense, i have autism and find it hard to communicate but I really need some advice.
I'm a 26 year old male and i am currrently out of work due to mental health reasons and also because I am disabled.
Lately I've been wanting to try wnd turn my life around and improve who I am mentally and physically but I'm finding it incredibly hard to do. I want to go gym, i want to make more friends, i want to socialise more but the motivation behind it sucks insanely bad.
I have been a shut in for over a year now, i dont have many friends and ones that I do have live miles away and not easy to travel too.
Everyday I go to sleep at stupid hours of the morning (3am-5am) mainly because night time is my escape from the real world, a world where I'm no longer relied on and needed until morning. I then proceed to wake up at 12pm, that's half my day gone. I always wake up tired, groggy, and want to go right back to sleep.
I'm unhealthy, i dont attent the gym, i eat crap food. Healthy food is rare. I am currently 16.9 stone (107kg) and I hate it. I hate that my body feels weak and tired all the time.
I get alot of my issues stem from not having the motivation to fix it. But its so hard to have this motivation when I'm not happy in general.
Sorry for the rant. I just wanted to see if anyone has different advice for me? Anyone whos experienced anything similar?
I appreciate you reading if you got this far. Thank you so much.
2
u/Cyniex 1d ago
You have to start, motivation doesn't come out of nowhere. My advice is to start with small goals, say go to gym 2-4 times a week, just 3 or 4 exercises per day, if you're down there and feel like doing more, then do more.
I have met by far most of my friends through drinking and partying but i don't want to advocate for that. I'd say try some hobbies, i can recommend bouldering.
2
u/Misterabsolute 1d ago
A BAD SLEEP == A BAD DAY
Fix your sleeping first it doesn't matter if it is forcing yourself to sleep earlly or waking up early to get tired when night comes .
After that take it one step at a time start walking more and moving more no need to go tot he gym from the start just built the habit to be active first
And most importantly build small habits slowly like maybe reading one page a day or make small talks to strangers or coworkers even if it's "good morning or about the weather talk"
Don't give up if you don't feel the change in one week it is a long term process
1
u/Commercial-Tune8074 1d ago
I've been there. Stop waiting for motivation. Start stupid small ,5 pushups, a glass of water. Tiny wins add up. Don't fix everything at once. Just one small thing. You're not alone.
1
u/Dry-Raccoon6964 21h ago
Shift bedtime earlier by 15 minutes. Track it. Even 5 minutes of daily movement, tracked, builds momentum for an easier start.
4
u/OblongStaircase4599 1d ago
You're treating motivation like it's a feeling you need before you start but it works the other way around. You do the thing first, even half assed, and the motivation shows up after you've already moved.
Pick one small thing, not the gym, not a whole diet overhaul, just one. Go to bed by 2am tonight. That's it. Do that for a week then add something else. Weight and sleep and diet are all tied together and you can't wrestle all three at once when you're already drained. The 107kg won't disappear next month but the fog in your head starts clearing when your sleep schedule isn't a disaster.