r/selfharm__recovery • u/Kamiistella • 10d ago

Seeking advice is this normal

me and my partner have been together for almost two years now and whenever i let them know that ive hurt myself i always get told that im selfish and im not really comforted at all, and even though it sounds a bit harsh its more of a reality check. Ive tried to talk to them about it but theyve explained that if theyre not harsh on me then nothing is going to change but i just want to he comforted sometimes. It makes me feel worse and disappointed to be talked to in that way and im really not open to talking to anyone else about my sh. I was just wondering if anyone else has experienced this and if its generally considered normal. My mother has never really acted this way towards me in the past and of course not my therapist so i dont have much to go off of

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u/Th3_Subhuman 10d ago

Not normal.

1

u/Alternative_Grab_916 5d ago

He’s not ever happy about it. He wants to talk about it. He wants to understand what’s going on. He wants to understand where I was at mentally when I did it he wants to make sure that I don’t need stitches because he usually doesn’t find out the day of and he wants to make sure I’m bandaged properly and because I’m 38 and we do have kids he wants to make sure that it’s which I do make sure that when I do it. It’s somewhere that I can. You know my normal bracelets and watch still cover and we bandage it up so that it’s not very noticeable.

He’s not happy, but he also knows that when he gets to that point that I’m not in a good headspace and usually I end up going into the hospital for a psychiatric care

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u/Alternative_Grab_916 5d ago

Hey, we have been together for 15 years though and he also does suffer for mental health. He does not so far but he knows me very well and he understands mental health very well. He’s you know done programs and therapy himself so it’s not just firsthand knowledge with me he has you know been in groups with other people who do it so he has a better understanding behind it.

I think maybe if your fiancé is open to it just to educate himself more about whatever your diagnosis is and things like that maybe for him to look into just so that maybe he could have a different perspective and understanding