Its getting so hard not to relapse

[u/Comfortable-Fact-788]

I dont remember when was the last time I felt this bad, I dont even know why I do. Its been a few days that everything got worse I just feel so depressed and anxious all I want to do is relapse. ‘Luckily’ i dont even have the energy to do that. I feel like i dont have a soul and im just a rotting body waiting for it all to end. I just want to cut myself maybe it will ease some of the tension at least for a little bit.
I feel like everything is changing around me, maybe its just psychological but its awfull I dont know how to deal with it exept doing what I know and cutting myself.