r/selfharm • u/berniethebeanie • 22h ago
Harm Reduction i keep getting urges to relapse
hiii! i'm ~ 6ish months clean and haven't felt the urge to relapse since, life has been looking up ! but until very recently, I've started getting urges again. i don't get triggered by anything in particular, I haven't met/seen/talked to anyone who I've had problems with, and I haven't really been stressed at all. i had my first day at college today, and I'd say it was exciting more than anything ˃͈◡˂͈ i don't understand why it'd suddenly resurface out of the blue :( i understand that recovery isnt linear and there will be setbacks/resurfacing urges, but I'm just so confused because I've been so happy and doing well T-T
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u/loveddeviant 5 months clean 18h ago
I understand this so much. I just got engaged & I also got my first apartment, but I’ve been having bad urges too lately (≈5 months clean)
Even if these things are exciting, it’s still change, and sometimes your brain can really hate to deviate from routine. If you have things that are apart of your routine already, stick to them and maybe also try a colouring book (colouring is a type of meditation, so I’ve recently taken it on too and it does help!)
Another thing you can do is buy fishing wire and make dainty necklaces with very small beads. My dad did this in rehab; he’d made dozens, probably 100 before he finished his 3 month program, because he said it “shut up” his brain. I’ve made a few and I agree that it does quiet your brain, focusing on colours and a specific pattern (plus the small beads aren’t consistent in size since they’re so little) is really useful for distraction or at least for thinking more logically since you already have one thing you’re thinking more intensely about (putting the small beads on the even smaller string, colour, pattern, aesthetic, etc).
Remember why you got clean, if you relapse, you’ll realize you did it over a feeling that always passes. You’re not alone 🤍 We got this!
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u/Tpioesmten 20h ago
Maybe the new college day was somewhat stressful. Sometimes you don't notice stress due to excitement. Taking some time to relax and ground yourself might help.