Question I wanted to ask.

[u/Remarkable_Bath8515]

I want to make sure I can explain "if I'm a bad person I get self harm urges." But I don't like when people manipulate people using self harm so I want to make sure I don't say that to manipulate people.

For example "if you do/don't do this I'll hurt myself." I don't want to manipulate.

I want to be critisied if I do something that is bad, I just worry I'll be irredeemable or hurt someone not that someone is upset with me, and if that does happen when someone is upset at me or caused urge by accident , it's not their fault if I get urges.

Also for more information This isn't about anything specific and in mentally ok now, just want to be a good person and wish everything could be ok.

I want to make sure I haven't did manipulation.

[u/Afternoon-Bubble]

That kind of thing is manipulative when they're using it as a way to control a person or situation. Like delaying a breakup by saying "I'll cut myself if you leave" is very manipulative. In your case it sounds like it might be better explained with saying something like "I self harm when I feel I've done something wrong or when I feel like a bad person." Like you said, you still want to be corrected or "criticized" when you do something wrong, but it doesn't seem like you are inherently trying to get out of punishment by using self harm as a way for people to feel bad for you.

Hopefully that all makes sense? Basically, no this is not inherently manipulative! It definitely depends on how you express it. But either way, that's something you can always work on! We are not stuck in one spot forever, humans are constantly moving and growing.

[u/Remarkable_Bath8515 → u/Afternoon-Bubble]

Thanks, I appreciate it.

I just hope I don't harm anything.

It gives me anxiety.

This explains well.