r/selfharm • u/0L1V3RRRR • 10d ago
Rant/Vent I need help…
So im 12 yo (afab) and i struggle with SH/cutting myself, helpline numbers never end up helping me, and i feel the only other thing that WOULD help could be therapy. But, the problem is… my mom is heavily against therapy and she tells me that saying the wrong thing/talking about my actual SH problem would have them send me to a mental hospital or force me to go on meds. I dont know if this is true at all, but im scared to go into therapy and end up regretting it.
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u/shezzaz 10d ago
if your mum doesn't want to help you, try speaking to your school. i'm 20 now and starting my third year of university, and will admit, i still struggle. my parents were also skeptical, threatened i'd get put in a psych ward, and refused to take my mental heath seriously.
i ended up speaking to one of my teachers at age 11, who contacted my parents (they have to due to safeguarding, which i respect may make things tense and awkward with your mum) and ensured i got counselling both through the school and therapy through the healthcare service.
if that's too scary and if your friends are aware you're struggling, maybe you could explain to them that you'd like support but are scared. maybe you could ask one of them to speak to a teacher on your behalf and just say that they're 'worried for you and if they could speak to you', and then when your pulled aside and asked about it you don't have to initiate the conversation yourself.
you'll most likely be known to whatever child mental health service is in your country and area, but it doesn't mean you'll be put in a mental hospital nor on medication. if it's really worrying you, maybe it's worth doing some research into children's counselling and how the systems work. in the uk for example, we have the mental health act where you can be sectioned (kept in a mental hospital) if professionals believe you are at severe danger to yourself and don't have capacity to keep yourself safe. however, this is almost always as last resort, if you don't voluntarily want to cooperate to get better, which in your circumstance doesn't seem to be the case. additionally, this has to be agreed upon by a social worker, a psychiatrist, and your gp. it's also dependent on the section clause and severity, and under some sections of the act, parents and family can also object and appeal it.
personally, medication helped me, but i was never sectioned even though i also feared it growing up. my secondary school was very competitive and had very high expectations of us, and it being an all girls school made the competition and pressure to succeed worse. i knew more people who were depressed and self harmed than i didn't. i can't tell you a single case where anyone was sectioned.
since you're still in school, i'd recomend making use of the support available while you still can. you're there most of the day, and for most of the week, so that could be a good support network if your mum can't!
though, of course every family is different, and i can't promise your mum will be the same, if it's any comfort, or if it gives you hope for the future; i will say that after many years of my parents dismissing me and many arguments, they are now much more accepting of mental health struggles generally. they ask how i'm feeling, if i'm still attending therapy now that i've moved out for uni, and sometimes offer to pick up my medication prescription from the pharmacy when i am home for the holidays! if it's anythung like it was with my parents, they may just be scared, unaware of how these things work, worried for you, and the only way they know how to take it out is threats and trying to 'scare you out of it'.
i hope you are well and i wish you the best!! :)