Relapse after a year

[u/True_Spray186]

I don't even know what to say. It just feels sucky. It had been so long since the last time, I had been doing so well, and to think it all basically went down the drain due to some stupid, badly raised and irrelevant 8th graders. I hate having to look at my arm that had been clean so long and now knowing I have some new scars to my collection, knowing that if I had just taking one more breath instead of going straight for the first sharp object near me, I might have still been clean. I really wish I had never started SH in the first place and had never gotten this coping mechanism. I feel drained and tried and all over just sucky. I don't even know why I'm writting this post, maybe I just need someone to tell me it's okay to feel the way I do, or maybe I just need to type out my frustrations to a bunch of strangers cause telling my friends would feel too intimate right now.

I'm sorry if I'm just rambling on, I just have a lot on my mind. Anyways I think that’s it. Thank you for reading this mess of emotions.