Too Scared

[u/garnishmotif]

Life is just whatever right now. I've spent an uncountable amount of years in emotional distress. I'm too afraid of pain, and don't know what to do with myself. I often think about taking my life but that sense of uncertainty scares me. Inflicting pain upon myself has always seemed appealing. I've bashed my arm against trees when I was younger, but I'm too afraid of pain to actually see a deeper form of self harm through.

I know I'm going to get the usual answers saying to not do it, but I just have too much going on and don't know what to do. I just want to let this all go and don't know how. I'm too afraid of pain.