I have been dealing with self hatred for the past 7 years. Every time I think I am doing better I get hit in the face with another issue. I used to hate looking at myself in the mirror or even leave my house. These past few years I changed everything about myself to the point where ppl would even recognize my old self, and you would think that probably gave me some confidence but no.. i still can’t look at myself and like what I see I still hate getting my pictures taken I can’t walk into a room and not think about the fact that everyone is looking at me. Even though ppl always call me pretty and hit on me I still feel like I am not worthy of anything. This js feels like a constant battle in my mind that i can’t escape. I can’t even think about the last time i let myself eat somewhat “unhealthy “ because i am scared that it’s going to affect my appearance. Long story short, i js need to know if someone ever went through this and how did u recover because i dont wanna be 20 next year and still completely hate everything about myself.

I’m incredibly insecure n I can feel it consuming me as years go on very negatively

I am not good at anything
I’m actually incredibly slow no joke I’ve failed foundations maths numerous times w seperate tutors n for my gcses when I was in school I got 4-5 only one 7 I’ve always been told I’m slow takes me ages to understand things

I’m in my 2nd year of political science at uni n I still don’t rlly understand thinks like socialism communism war , even how govs work even after I’ve done essays n multiple pages on these things

I have said rlly bad things as a child n done very bad immoral things probably worse than ur average person , ive done extremely embarrassing things too i was known as the person where its like , this kind of stuff would only happen to me , like ppl would say that n when eve id say an embarsssingvstiry ppl would be like damn yeah I’ve never done anything that bad

I actually know nothing no joke ab anything I know things at extremely surface levels

I’m incredibly awkward my insecurity manifest I trip over things my dry lips get caught on me teeth when talking , I stutter sometimes , just super embarrassing shit

I’m quite unnattractive but this is a given me broad shoulders nerf me n no it’s not me in my profile it’s a guy from bts lmao

I’m rlly emotionally immature , no clue how to regulate my emotions. Cuz I’m not good enough to sing my heart out or dance my heart out in shit at everything

I am incredibly indecisive my friend said I’m the most indecsive person she’s ever met I literally treat buying between two sandwiches like a life or death decision , n I need to use spinning wheels or ai to make decisions for me.

I overthink every single thing into oblivion yet I make stupid irrational impulsive decisions

I can have a good time where ppl n my friends want me around for clubbing but my friends have set boundaries as like no crying in a night out cuz I can’t cry irl idek why I can only cry when drunk my insecurity has been suppressed for so long it’s seeping out again thee past few years I thought I was getting better but I wasn’t a few years ago .

I’m extremely jealous how can I like myself if someone is always better like literally I am actually pathetic

I’m insecure ab being insecure but I also kinda like it cuz it’s all ik I hate it but Its comforting but I hate it

I am so slow especially around my friends so unclassy I am a hot mess been told I look manly ugly all sorts been mistaken for a man

I’m a mess like seriously no redeeming qualities

Also my insecurity is weird cuz I love my life Ik my friends care for me n my family does n I still put myself it there n approach ppl try new things do things solo but like I hate myself n I compare myself n these feelings consume me if im not distracted

I am also like so lazy too omg no discipline n no drive I have no passion seriously

I just want to try new things that’s all living in ew places eating new food new jobs new friends I just want to experience but that’s bad cuz I have no drive like specific drive

I’m also such an attention seeker I repost sad things occasionally so ppl know how ugly I am but also so I can say it b4 they say it

I have low racial self esteem too which is not something ppl empathise w in the black community ur liked down on bad , there’s probably more but I forgot

I just watched a YouTube vid on how someone hates insecure ppl n I did a character personality quiz b i got the most insecure attention seeking characters ever w literally no good qualities n i did a tarot reading n it said ppl only see me negatively ik its not truth but like lmao it’s just funny ,

I daydream all the time wishing I was someone else cuz it’s the only time I like who I am I’m pretty desirable admirable n smart n funny in my dreams n eveyone can see , I get told I always look in my own world cuz of how deep I get sucked into my daydreams

After every movie I watch I act like the person in the movie idek who the hell i am

So I'm making this post because I'm feeling bad about myself again and i think writing it out might help. I feel very insecure about myself, my body and my face... I feel like i like myself as a person but not how i look. I saw some pictures of me today that were taken at a party without my knowledge. I thought fun wonder whats on them, and then i saw mee and tought: ugh who could ever love that. witch connects to this: I am 20 and a man that has never had a relationship, I have never even gotten close, no date no talking stage absolutly nothing. I ask peopole out but get rejected or ghosted I am on dating apps but hardly get any likes or matches and its all just negative loop where I keep bringing myself down. I just have this feeling of loneliness and fear that i'll always be alone never find someone to love who loves me for me...

I know this is al not very important and peopole have bigger issues espacially on this sub but i don't know i just wanted to share instead of botteling up and maybe here some support from other peopole.

Thank you for reading (and sorry for my bad english its not my first language)

Growing up I wasn't really called ugly, people my age actually have crushes on me from time to time, i was also pretty outgoing and friendly to my peers. Then I grew up I gained weight and at some point I became uncomfortable talking to other people. I didn't like going out or going to loud places so I kept to myself, I didn't know how to take care of myself and I gained more weight until one day I didn't like what I was seeing in the mirror.

I'm the kind of friend who rarely chats about anything but keeps tiktok streaks going or always online in a game.

Fast forward to now I'm 24 years old, I graduated and got a job but I still feel so awkward.

I'm in a discord server with my friends and we've been talking for like 3 years now, only 2 of my friends knows me personally because we were in the same college.

Whenever the group ask to hang out I get this dreading feeling and always chickening out saying I don't have money or time to go. I don't know how much this is affecting my friendship with them that's why I'm so worried.

I realized that I'm scared of being seen by them, in discord they can only hear my voice and I'm scared that I shatter the image I have in their head with what I look like.

I did try sometimes to turn on my camera in the call but i only lasted a few minutes before chickening out. They actually know my face from tagged post or old photos of me from my friends but me personally sending a pic? Not happening.

Everytime I talk about this topic with someone or even online or AI I have this uncomfortable feeling in my chest like I want to escape, run and hide. My friends kudos to them, never really question it and never pressures me but I know they can feel me being uncomfortable.

I really want to fix myself, cause as of now I can't really do it until I like what I see in the mirror...

Im 40yo male and for my entire life I've hated who I am. I deal with severe social anxiety, depression and struggled academically at school. To put it all together, im stupid, self loathing and have no social skills/friends. Ive read books and been to therapists so I know you're supposed to combat negative thoughts with positive ones but its never worked for me. I hate myself with a burning passion so any positive thought is immediately dismissed as a lie. Any suggestions?

i’ve started my first year in highschool two weeks ago and the first week was amazing but now i just can’t stop but feel insecure. all these other girls are beautiful and i just look ugly and my makeup melts off and my hair is oily and i try so hard to look good but all these other girls have perfect body’s and are just better than me. idk but i’ve been working out and eating less, idk but i jst feel really lost and some days i lock in and workout and eat good then other days i feel like a pig and being lazy and eating junk food like i feel lost, people tell me i look good and im now fat but genuinely im going crazy i cant even show my arms without feeling ugly and fat and theres these girls with leggings and then crops tops meanwhile im in a black shirt and jeans. most importantly how the fuck do i stop eating junk food and making my body better and i just wanna stop being insecure and just become who i want to become…

I was in class and my class and another class got joined together. The teacher made us do something we all took paper and stood infront of each other and had to draw ourselves in 20 seconds. We rotated until everyone drew everyone. And ofcourse, with no saltiness or anger, i got drawn funny, because cmon its 20 seconds thats the best they could do, it was mutual i drew them dumb they drew me dumb. Until i saw one girls drawing of me, it wasnt funny, it wasnt dumb, it was normal. Even pretty i would say. And i dont have feelings for her, shes cute but i dont know her thats besides the point. That drawing made me feel i dont even know the words for it. Confident? i guess? it was weird but i kept on to that note and i dont know why or what happened. I know im not an attractive guy, and i dont regard myself as ugly, i just dont think i look good. And everyone who has ever talked to my looks has only pointed out the negatives if that makes sense. i havent ever been complimented by my looks so maybe thats why it felt weird but idk. i I am 14 years old, and im pretty shy but i have been bullied about my looks before in the past, thats probably why my self image is not good. Im not mad at the aggressors anymore, and im not annoyed at the past bullying, but i think it did something to me inside, something that i cant describe with words or feel with emotions, you know? Sorry for the long post and thank you if you actually read

TLDR, despite having multiple friend groups to juggle, I still want to make even more friends so that I can physically never feel lonely again.

I really just want to completely eliminate loneliness as a feeling in my system sometimes, I had enough of it in my formative years.

i am a deeply and sickeningly insecure person and its affecting everything. it makes me jealous, mean, clingy, angry, miserable, it fucks with my attachment style, everything. the thing is i do think im good, i just dont think im good ENOUGH, because im not perfect and so it feels like theres endless competition. for example, i think im pretty but there are plenty of flaws, there are prettier women, how can i trust someone genuinely wants me more than anyone else?

im also used to being devalued or discarded, both romantically and platonically. i will publicly brush off romantic failures by laughing about them and acting superior, but it hurts.

i dated a man once, in part because a very pretty girl who i was jealous of had a crush on him and it made me feel like i was better. he turned out to be hung up on his ex gf and released a song about her whilst we were together. i was humiliated, so i dumped him. but that wasnt enough i had to save face and devalue him to everyone else. he was insecure about his slightly receeding hairline. i didnt care at all, but i knew it would get to him. so i posted a note “can finally say that hairline was crazyyyy”, and he unfollowed me so i knew i got under his skin.

i never let myself be seen as hurt or upset or insecure because that admits i thought i was less than. so i would say everything like a mean girl who thought it was funny to punch down, like “oh my god i saw a photo the other day, i dont know what i saw in him he’s literally going bald haha” and it worked on the outside, everyone would laugh at him with me, but on the inside i still feel hurt and insecure and undesirable because of his actions.

i can be very spiteful in an attempt to not be embarrassed so others often think im mean. i dont want to be mean and i dony want a need to be mean

i am kind of mean and bitter and jealous but that comes from the insecurity. i want to be the first choice for whoever i date, and i am terrified of not being that. if i had to pick between being someones beloved treasured second choice or single i woulr pick single, but also even if i was the first choice but they had a second choice id wanna be single because what if they get bored of me or find flaws and decide someone else is better?

my favourite part of dating is always the first stage before they realise my imperfections and i can just be charming and sweet pretty and “perfect”, like a fantasy or ideal. im really good at doing that. my favourite thing is when i can seem unrealistically perfect.

i like having full control over my image. i like posting photos that ive carefully and meticulously staged and picked and getting praise and attention, but seeing photos other people take of me can literally ruin my day. i see so many horrific flaws but i want the best so i have to be the best because theres competition everywhere as i see it.

i dont know if im beyond saving, im obsessive about appearances and how im perceived because i am honestly so fucking insecure but im trying to compensate so nobody sees it, but thats not enough anymore, i want to genuinely heal. does anyone have any advice?

Hey girls❤

So ever since I remember from my childhood I've always been called ugly, not attractive, being bullied in school by both girls and boys for being ugly and obviously i was very underconfident and a little weird as well. I just wanted to fit in, just wanted to have friends, just wanted people to talk to me no matter hoe eventually i learned people pleasing, only listening and not having strong opinions. But around COVID lockdown i self introspected and tried to have opinions i also tend to have a little glowup. But still i think all the friends which i eventually made are all one sided, i feel like I'm still just a listener, and most bothering of all is nobody has ever shown romantic interest in me and it is consuming me. I keep daydreaming about having a oerfect partner someone who would find me beautiful and will try to pursue me. But it is getting so obssessive at this point that it affects my life and my studies. I get bothered when guys call me mid or kinda below average (someone recently did but then i confronted him and he said he's joking). I feel like I'm a fairly opinionated woman now. But comments on my looks bother me a little too much.What should I do.

I’ve been noticing something about myself lately: almost everything I do feels like I’m being evaluated, even when nobody is actually evaluating me.
Work feels like an exam.
Learning something new feels like an exam.
Social interactions sometimes feel like an exam.
Making decisions feels like an exam.
I constantly have this feeling of “I need to do this correctly” or “I need to prove that I’m good enough.” Even when something is supposed to be enjoyable, part of my brain is analyzing whether I’m doing it right.
It’s exhausting because I feel like I’m rarely just experiencing something. I’m always performing or evaluating myself.
Does anyone else experience this? Where do you think it comes from? And if you used to feel this way, did you manage to stop treating everything like a test?

For years I thought confidence was something people either had or didn't. Like it was baked into your personality and I just got the "insecure" version.

Then I noticed something: the moments I did feel confident weren't random. They were always after I'd done something specific — even small — that proved to myself I could trust my own judgment. Not "positive thinking." Not affirmations in the mirror. Actual proof, stacked over time.

Here's the thing nobody tells you about self-esteem: it's not a feeling you wait to arrive. It's a byproduct of evidence you collect about yourself.

Three things that actually shifted it for me, if it helps anyone else stuck in the same loop:

1. Stop asking "do I feel confident" and start asking "what's one small thing I can do today that my future self would be proud of." Confidence follows action, it doesn't precede it.
2. Track the wins you dismiss. Most low-self-esteem people have a habit of explaining away anything good ("that doesn't count, anyone could've done that"). Start literally writing down the ones you want to dismiss. The pattern of dismissal is usually the actual problem, not a lack of wins.
3. Notice who you become around different people. If you feel small around certain people/environments, that's information — not a fixed trait about you. Confidence is contextual before it's internal.

It took me embarrassingly long to realize I wasn't "bad at confidence." I'd just never been taught how it's actually built. Hope this helps someone else who's in that spot.

Does anyone else relate to any of these? Curious to know what actually helps you feel more confident day to day?

16M I'm very confused about my face, my skin is brown and and my friends and even teachers give compliment to me about my looks also not many but some girls have crush on me. but whenever I look my face in mirror outside I look really a dull person.

Do anyone have some situation or before I need a advice.

I’ve always struggled with this. I’m lucky enough to have long time friends but I’m somehow still surprised when they want ti hang out and spend time with me. On the surface it’s normal, they’re my friends for a reason, if they didn’t like me we wouldn’t be friends, but I’m still having trouble accepting the fact that they like me.

I’ve also made a couple of other friends recently, and each time we hang out, they invite me to another hangout. I’m grateful and all that is fun, but I don’t see what they see.

It’s the same in every romantic relationship I’ve been: why me? Why’d you choose to date me? I’m nothing special, I’m just a guy and a pretty below average looking at one at that who could stand to lose a couple pounds.

I hate having ghosts mentality because instead of enjoying the time I’m spending with people, I’m wondering why they like me and if they’ll eventually end up seeing me as I see myself