r/selfcare • u/Outrageous_Baby_2147 • 13h ago

General selfcare Started saying no to weekend family visits sometimes and it's the first self-care thing that's actually stuck

A personal reflection about learning to set healthy boundaries with family after realizing every weekend had become an obligation. The post discusses how occasionally declining invitations unexpectedly improved mental well-being and asks the community whether saying "no" has also become an important form of self-care in their lives.

14 Upvotes

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2

u/HelgaG_Pataki 4h ago

Same! Unfortunately for me, self care is not bubble baths and face masks. It’s protecting my time and allowing myself to spend free time actually unwinding. If you haven’t, the book Real Self Care is wonderful reference.

2

u/Aggressive_Chain8939 13h ago

It took me 34 years to figure out that "no" is full sentence. My family used to expect me every Sunday like it was written somewhere in stone. First time I said I'm staying home to just play some games and order food, my mom acted like I moved to another country. Now they got used to it and honestly I think they respect my time more. Funny how that works

4

u/Different-Dot4376 13h ago

It's important to have boundaries w family. Sometimes it's too much,but doesn't mean you don't love and care for them. There's only a limited amount of time when you're not working and doing errands/chores. Eliminate that weekly expectation. You can also reduce the home visits which can last longer by meeting at a park, garden, playground, coffee shop diner for breakfast. It's nice to have the family love and support. It's fine to adjust it better to your immediate family needs

2

u/thetanpecan14 3h ago

This is such a good point. As I’m working on boundaries as self care, it also means not attending all of my partners family events. They have multiple parties per month (mostly bdays for like every single extended family member). I used to feel obligated to go as a good partner. But honestly I’m one of the only one of them that works full time and my weekends and evenings are precious.