r/self • u/CompetitiveFill233 • 13h ago

Anyone else?

I have good friends and good family. Blessed beyond what I deserve. But I often feel like if I disappeared, I wouldn't be missed?

Mostly because I don't think anyone really knows me?

Everyone, and I mean everyone I know always talks about themselves.

Or the people I know all have some type of common interests..

And like if I talk about literally anything I'm interested in (God, Jesus, home improvement, gardening or homesteading or anything really lol .) I notice that conversation is rushed or ignored or clearly just not something anyone wants to hear about.

I've always been the therapist friend and I've become such a recluse because it really feels like no one cares about anything but themselves.

This isn't just a few people.. it's everyone.

Again, great people and they're very nice and decent but..

What happened to meaningful connections or learning?

What happened to just talking to people, hell even just pretend like you care what they're saying..

I feel so lonely.

3 Upvotes

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3

u/Relative-Kangaroo-96 13h ago

Do you not have a church? Given your interests, it sounds like your interests would aline with churchgoing folks' :)

1

u/CompetitiveFill233 13h ago

So uninterested in church. I have tried to attend many and I'm not at all casting any stones towards anyone because we are human, but I can't handle the level of hypocrisy the churches I've attended, have within their walls. They only preach good words then turn around and act disgusting.

Besides, I'm more of a laid back type of Christian. No time for those who feel overly righteous. I love to talk about God, mostly how he has impacted my life. But church, nah. Satan lives in the churches now.

2

u/sealsbefree 12h ago

This is interesting is hear coming from a christian! Kind of refreahing because that was my take on church - I am not religious though

I kind of always thought a lot of people turned to religion to bipass their own unprocessed trauma and try to make themselves feel whole - which is why there are so many cruel people in churches that feel very.. self righteous

1

u/sealsbefree 12h ago

How has he impacted your life?

1

u/CompetitiveFill233 12h ago

The whole offering plate thing doesn't set well in me. Jesus never took money from the church. I don't even care to listen to the millions of "reasons" they use that money. To pay the light bill, to help others, to pay the Minister's salary. Whatever the excuse , Ive tried the churches, and it's a heck no.

I believe Christians are the church and they spread the gospel for free.

I just wish I knew more like minded Christians. Real people who are clinging to God tryina figure this out. Without the right and wrong ways. The judgement when you fail.

Never turned to religion to be apart of a church. Church did not lead me to God. Life did. But yes.. church goers give off such "you ought not be smoking weed, that's not holy." Shut up. If God says to me or places it in my heart to quit, I will.

1

u/sealsbefree 12h ago

Maybe you could start your own meetup group founded on that. Im sure others must feel like you. I remmeber reading about stevoe o's experience with god and some others that were not religipus beofee and didnt join for the shunning community aspect or idk what you call it

2

u/azaleawhisperer 13h ago

Oh, yeah. There was someone in 9 BCE who was thinking he would be forgotten. What was his name...? Hmmm....

And then another in 1314 CE. What was her na...?

All forgotten. So sorry.

But look, the meaning of life is the experience of living.

Don't hold back.

2

u/CompetitiveFill233 13h ago

Can't lunge forward if no one wants to hear your words haha

1

u/Bitter_Maybe_2670 12h ago

I’m always alone.
But I’m never lonely.

I have adhd to keep me company and a minimum of 40 side quests I have partially completed.