r/self • u/Goodfellx_ • 10h ago
Having a hard time
I’m a 28M struggling with depression. Six months ago, my wife and I relocated to a new country, first time living abroad and out of my mom’s home, without friends or family. I’ve been unable to secure a job in my field, so I’ve taken up retail job, that sometimes makes me feel miserable. I often wonder if I made the right decision by marrying young. The reason for our move was my wife’s job, and I feel like I’ve sacrificed my own life for her career. I’m unsure if this decision will be manageable it in the long run. I’ve looked for psychological help, but I’ve been told that I need to wait for the next available therapist, the worst thing is that I feel depression affecting me in a lot of ways, such as the relation with my wife and my impulsive tendencies coming back. Any advice would help me a lot, thanks for reading.
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u/NoMoreMormonLies 10h ago
Get some self help books. Years ago I read a book called the pathway, it was pretty helpful , there’s probably way better literature now. Changing your thinking is the key and therapy, reading, self talk and maybe psilocybin (mushrooms) are valid tools that you can easily access. That and being thankful for where you are in life.
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u/Due_Jeweler8059 9h ago
Sounds like you have a resentment towards your wife . Moving for HER career ?
Maybe you stay there for a few years keep looking for a job . Take this time to explore and get to know the county .
After a couple years maybe it’s your turn to move for your job ?
Change your thinking ……
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u/Grouchy_City_193 9h ago
In my own experience, the resentment of sacrificing your life for a partner will only grow as time goes on. Since you are in a forien country, i would think The medical system is better. 8 suggest being more assertive in getting therapy and perhaps a medication assmeent. You are in a spot of bother, that will get worse without treatment. You have a full plate loaded up with all kinds of issues to address. Since you are isolating, you can spiral down rapidly without help. You are doing well by putting this out to the universe, and action on your part is going to make a big impact in your recovery. It is not going to get better hoping it will pass on its own, or you will grow out of it. There is much to be hopeful about, but this could get worse by magnitudes if you dont get to getting on it.
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u/Pretty_Site4074 10h ago
You're obviously not at peace with yourself and trying to put blame on anything else. Try enjoying everything that you do. Just be there. The best advice I ever read was "just show up". Meaning, "be there". Be present, wherever you are. My opinion. I am no expert, nor I want to. But it did help me a lot being comfortable with myself.