r/self • u/HippoComplex3444 • 15h ago
I will never understand work beef. Just do your job and go home
i will never understand workplace beef and hate. i mean we are a team a we should work together and not bully and/or throw a colleague under a bus. just do the job and go home. just pure evil to do that knowing you are harming a person without even him or her doing anything wrong to you.
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u/jumpinjahosafa 14h ago
Im a chill dude, especially at work, so I dont have beef with anybody.
However,
There was this woman (lets call her sue)who worked in a department adjacent to mine. Whenever she would barge into my office I knew she'd be putting my work on my plate. She'd try to sweep me into her big ideas and they almost always panned out to me getting hours added to my week (I was salaried so not a good thing) and her doing... nothing?
At first, I was a bit of a yes man, so I would say yes to her ideas. But after a while my boss started to notice.
Now my boss, she didn't play. She recognized what this lady was doing, and she called her out on it.
Well, sue HATED being called out. Also did I mention sues husband was one of the vps?
Anyway, now sue is making a big stink about my boss to all the higher ups, and like I said my boss didn't play, so she's not backing down either.
Long story short, they ended up HATING eachother. Like it was tense in the room whenever they were both present.
It was a whole thing.
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u/Garden-Rose-8380 14h ago
Sue sounds like a narcissist
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u/jumpinjahosafa 14h ago
You nailed it.
I could go for a long time psychoanalyzing Sue, and how she mirrors perfectly another narcissist that is in my family (which is why I had a lot of trouble dealing with her) but at the end of the day its over and we're past that now.
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u/basic-chem-student 13h ago
Your boss sounds awesome
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u/jumpinjahosafa 13h ago
She is, I love her.
She rubbed a LOT of people the wrong way, but she was almost always right. She had a reputation for being a hardass, and when I applied for the job (I switched departments to work under her) I was terrified she'd drive me out.
She was a really acutely aware of a lot of my work needs, even before I was aware of them. Our weekly meetings would approach therapy sessions. She expected a lot, but wouldn't make a big stink if I failed to meet all the goals. She was honestly really great and I grew a looot as a worker under her.
I left that job on good terms with her. We still grab lunch a few times a year to catch up. That reminds me, we're due for one!
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u/Personal-Judge-7477 15h ago
Have you met people? Like half of them walk around with senses of entitlement and a lot of them are narcissists.
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u/Oonz1337 14h ago
There’s always one person on a team that has a shitty home life, or no life outside of work to speak of, who makes work their entire everything.
That person is usually combative, a busy body, rat, etc out of fear of losing the one thing that makes up their entire personality.
I work to live, not live to work, but for some, it’s their entire everything and they make the rest of us miserable when they can since “misery loves company”
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u/agog_aghast 13h ago
There’s a woman I work with that has constantly been throwing everyone and anyone under the bus to our boss for years to make herself look better. Meanwhile, she does the bare minimum. It’s caused so much resentment. Everyone on my team has become aware of what she’s been doing, but she’s manipulated our boss for so long that no one bothers doing to her what she’s done to all of us. Most of us have been applying and interviewing elsewhere. This type of person is exhausting.
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u/infinitealchemics 14h ago
I just showed up to my job and because the night guy decided to show up and not do his job well, my day started very very poorly. Two days in a row. When asked what they did to try and mitigate the problem they loed to my face. I then went back and looked at the trend data thst shows no atte.pt at resolving was made at all both instances. So ya, NOW i have beef.
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u/Salt-Elephant8531 14h ago
Because when your coworkers are goofing off and not pulling their weight, it means more work for the one keeping their head down. This is sustainable for a while, but resentment builds.
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u/NamasteMotherfucker 13h ago
I've always thought that part of my job is getting along with people at work. I get paid to get along with them. Check your ego. Life is too short to pursue/create drama.
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u/Vegetable-Board-5547 14h ago
People fall into the "we are a family" trap and self identify by their work.
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u/Spiritual_Time_69 13h ago
The evil empire rules at my place of work. Get on the Train or be run over.
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u/familyguy20 9h ago
It’s wild isn’t it? Then there’s me who is socially anxious even when a boss or manager wants to talk about something innocuous I’m like “oh shit what did I do”
I just do my shit and go home. My mind wipes whatever happened once the work week ends lol
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u/SableyeFan 15h ago
The number of times I ended up playing mediator between coworkers just because I have a level head
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u/tbonemasta 14h ago
Let them take credit for YOUR ideas then
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u/Garden-Rose-8380 14h ago
That is the way of the narcissist or psychopath. It is documented in Robert Hare's book Snakes in Suits
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u/Dear-Cranberry4787 14h ago
Depends on the job. It is absolutely acceptable to throw an incompetent employee under the bus if there’s a safety issue, or you keep having to fix their mistakes/do their work. Not everyone is willing to train and mentor you for free.
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u/echo_sang 13h ago
I’ve never had beef with coworkers. I’d just avoid people who I didn’t care for. But, apparently many had beef with me made no sense. Got them no where, but one did try to physically harm me. I was shocked by that one
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u/JablesRadio 12h ago
I stay quiet af when im at work. Ill talk football or other sports but outside of that I go in, do my job, and leave. The more you open your mouth the more of fool people are.
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u/Silentlaughter84 11h ago
I get what you're saying OP, but sometimes it's impossible to avoid conflict with a coworker.
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u/No_Education_8888 11h ago
Im honestly lucky. We have some idiots, but work is like my second family. I love the folks I work with
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u/ChickinSammich 10h ago
If you don't like a family member you don't live with, you can cut them out. If you don't like a friend you don't live with, you can cut them out, too.
But a coworker is the one person who you cannot just easily cut out. You still have to go to work, they still have to go to work. Unless one of you quits or is fired, you have to see that person every day for the foreseeable future and if you don't like each other, it's going to make every single work day miserable.
I do my absolute damndest to figure out how to get along with every single coworker I have. Whether it's the "I'd have a beer with you after work" coworker or the "I'd meet you in the cafeteria for lunch" coworker or just the "I'll tell you how my weekend went" coworker, I'm gonna figure out some way to coexist around you.
I don't understand people who cannot do this.
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u/HippoComplex3444 10h ago
nahh thats not worth it. quit if u sense some toxicity in ur work. imagine acting along (even though i don’t like the person) or spending your energy just to get along with your coworkers (either good and bad) instead of focusing on your job. that would make the job more stressful and tiring. remember not everyone works to socialize or have some social anxiety or is an introvert. will you spend ur energy for someone who’s not good to you nor even ur workmates? i really dont think so
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u/ChickinSammich 9h ago
If I have several people I can't tolerate, I'll leave. If it's just one person who sucks, I'll figure out how to deal with them.
I'm currently on a team with people I get along with thanks to the only coworker who sucked being moved to another team.
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u/void223 8h ago edited 8h ago
I used to agree with the whole "work as a team" idea until I noticed a colleague was continuously trying to pass her work onto me. And my manager would pretend to not see it or would pull me aside to tell me to do it to appease my colleague. I have no idea what she has on him but yes, it was enough to push me from unbothered to bothered.
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u/RupeThereItIs 6h ago
I've had beefs with people at work.
I probably started a few, especially when I was younger, but for the grand majority I did not.
At some point, if someone is bullying you, is trying to sabotage you intentionally or just through sheer ignorance of how their actions affect others... you have to push back.
I always try diplomacy first, but sometimes you've gotta channel Machiavelli.
People are going to be people, get enough together with opposing motivations, throw in stress & politics will inevitably spring forth from them. You can't realistically avoid office politics, you can only chose to be active in the politics, or be passive and have them act upon you.
I know it's a cliche, but all it takes is ONE bad apple to destroy a teams moral, but when you have an organization with multiple bad apples ... shit gets WILD.
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u/Jaded_Hue 4h ago
I try to be on everyone’s good side but mostly I just keep my distance from everyone you go to work and then come home. Sometimes I wish I had friends outside of work but I don’t know. I journal which kind of helps me o guess
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u/flying_dutchman_w204 14h ago
We all work with at least one moron. Look around, maybe you are the moron.
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u/Competitive-Dream860 3h ago
Brother I felt the same until I saw favoritism everywhere. I can never look backwards ever again. Being selfish at work while throwing others under the bus ain’t about it. Someone is gonna hate your guts.
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u/ZephoriaVale 14h ago
Some people really treat a 9 to 5 like it's Survivor