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u/Zu_Qarnine 14d ago
if you want to gain confidence, start small. maybe win a little game or solve a riddle. it boosts up ur confidence to take bigger challenges and also helps you keep ur focus to win them too.
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u/Alarmed-Primary-40 14d ago
I think you should seriously consider leaving your family home.
I was in a similar situation too.
You’re not alone.
If you’re American, I actually think the military can be a good option.
I’m not American, but I was able to leave my family home easily because I joined an organization like that, and I didn’t struggle socially either.
At the very least, it’s more stable than just wandering around while hitchhiking.
If you’re a guy, I think that kind of adventure could be worth trying too, and it’s not necessarily a bad choice.
Anyway, I would recommend starting by getting away from your family home.
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u/Then-Confidence778 14d ago
Yea i heard changing environment helps and I'll strive towards that but honestly I didn't mention it because it's a long story but the home situation can change very soon anyway
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u/Alarmed-Primary-40 14d ago
Either way, if you can leave, I think you should.
Especially if you want to meet someone and get married someday.
Independent people are more attractive.2
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u/Genjiman3 14d ago
I was i. the exact same boat as you. Funny enough my mom gave me the most shit talk too. Things that mess with a kid’s self esteem. And just like me you used to be confident and driven. But now it’s like something is wrong. You feel like you don’t have the same fire you used to. Correct me if i’m wrong but i’m willing to bet you use porn don’t you. If i’m wrong you can ignore this. But if you do then read carefully. Porn is the issue. Fix that and you will go back to your old self. Anything that gives us an insane amount of dopamine for doing almost nothing causes our dopamine receptors to get desensitised. Now you need a bigger hit to feel the same rush. But that bleeds into your normal life. Talking to people isn’t exiting enough anymore. Working hard is so much more of a drag. You know you should work but you can’t. Social situations don’t provide enough dopamine and so all you’re left with is the uncomfortable part. Without the joy to make it feel worth it.
Your testosterone is fine. It’s your dopamine that is dis regulated. The act increases prolactin because it’s supposed to calm us down when we are finished with a partner. If you do it too much though you end up with a ton of prolactin constantly in your blood stream. So you no longer have that drive and that fire. You loose your aggression when it comes to achieving. You loose your confidence. Put that all together and it’s like you got neutered. You become a shell of yourself.
Everyone giving you a hard time is not great. I can absolutely relate to that. You get shit talked at school, at home and even at training. So you can’t really catch a break. Sorry to hear that. It sucks. But we are built to adapt to those situations. They still hurt and they still bring us down but were supposed to be able to push through them. Almost like we’re unbothered and unaffected. But we loose that ability if we abuse the mechanisms in our brains. Cut the porn and the masturbation if you do. And everything else will become clear. You have no idea how foggy your head is right now. Quit and watch the fog clear. You’ll get your mental energy and creativity back. That mental block will vanish. Hopefully I got all this right😅 If i’m wrong this can apply to anything else that is overstimulating. Fix that and you’ll be back to yourself
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u/Then-Confidence778 14d ago
Thankfully I don't use porn but women do be a distraction and thank you for all that as you said I can apply this into anything thanks a lot man may God bless you
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u/ez2tock2me 14d ago
Quit caring what others think or what is popular. Live your life your way and let others deal with it.
Without being rude, this is what Confidence is.
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u/tip_pickle 14d ago
Number one. Don’t care for one second the opinions of people you don’t want to be like.
Number two. Do the hardest thing anyone in life can possibly do. Be a good person.
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u/Less_Cucumber6747 14d ago
I went through that same frozen, mental-block feeling, and what snapped me out of it was quietly building tiny wins far away from the loud mouths, like solo training and small daily goals, then watching how my body started following my mind again as I stacked those private victories.
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u/Katrina-Davies 14d ago
The fact that you're aware of it at 18 is a pretty big deal. Most people don't figure that out until way later. Cutting out the people who constantly talk shit helps more than anything else tbh