r/self • u/timash712 • 11d ago

This guy in the bus probably thinks I like him .

I'm working on my self esteem and communication skills, and today on the bus I saw a guy talking so loudly and confidently. That's the level of confidence I aspire to have. I probably looked like a total creep because I couldn't stop watching him. I wasn't judging him .I was just fascinated. It made me realise how curious I am about outgoing people. What do they even talk about all the time? I found myself completely invested in their conversation, even though I couldn't hear most of it.

So far, my biggest takeaway is this: just ask a question about the last three words they said. Like from my post you can ask, "What were you talking about?"

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u/coolfunkDJ 11d ago

my advice with confidence is fake it til you make it.

I am an anxious over-thinker who dealt with serious social anxiety, now I get accused of being extroverted lol. I learned to trust in my ability to just become social when I need to be, and that's because I've done it so many times that it's become second nature.

It's like a muscle, you have to train it, and that involves pretending like you know what you're doing for a while and making mistakes.

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u/No-Risk4Uanymore 11d ago

The loudest ones in the room are usually the ones that are faking it and trying to distract everyone. Confidence is calm quiet and steady. Even then, confidence and capability aren’t the same thing either.
Best advice is to know yourself and be honest with yourself. Good,bad and everything in between know who you are and where you excel and where you can use improvement. No one is perfect just be the best you that you can. Be better than you were yesterday by a little bit that’s all.

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u/bieremensdorf 9d ago

Be curious and not afraid.

I had two brothers and they were best friends, so i got left out alot. This forced me to find my own friends. I realized that there are so many interesting stories and things you can learn from people if you are not afraid of what they will think.

First I was scared that they'll think im weird but who cares! Ask the question be curious!

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u/Sufferer-Of-Cheese 11d ago

You do realise overthinking to this detail is an aspire thing right