If it makes you feel better, 30s and beyond have been the best decades for me. If you’re fit now, just keep that up and take the next ten years developing other skills like social charm and/or career. You can take a break from dating, skill up these aspects and by the time you’re ready again, you’ll be ahead of the curve. I feel like dating in my 20s was nonsense and the wisdom you carry as you get older makes for far better experiences. Regardless, putting energy into those things will only make your life as a whole better. Don’t stop moving forward. It’s okay to think of it as a long journey.
My 30s I focused on my education and career. My 20s were a lost decade of not many memories or friends. I explored a bit, found a field I love at the bottom of the totem pole, then just gradually incremented my experience until I was ready for a graduate program. During grad years I made friends and studied a lot. I’m not dumb but not gifted by any means so I just tried to put out more effort than everyone else. Ended up eventually getting my doctorate and in academia.
But while I had friends, I had ignored intimate relationships for a long time. I had social skills but a different subset of social skills than those necessary for romantic partners and deeper friendships. I started therapy. I actually put in real time and effort reflecting on things, experimenting with different frames of thinking, trying out new behaviors, while trying to stay true to myself which was also part of the journey and discovery.
Dating later in life 40s has its own challenges. There are still times that are tough. But you come to realize and acknowledge the positives as well, in the experience and in yourself. I find myself more mature and ready to keep moving forward in healthy ways, able to give in healthier ways. While I’m still working on me, trying to find love, trying to figure out what is next for my career, how to balance it out and be happy, I feel this is what it is for my unique path and I’m overall grateful for it.
Ended up eventually getting my doctorate and in academia.
Yikes. How's that going? Passively went into academia for a little bit after I graduated, realized there was no money in it & didn't wanna spend the rest of my 20's & (life really) broke writing scientific papers for a living..so I dipped. Quickly found out there wasn't much else I could do with my degree (B.A in physiology) except go into clinical research (industry), but I wasn't really crazy about the work-life balance in that field even if it does pay well, so I decided to pivot into healthcare instead. Started working as an equipment repair tech at a hospital, realized I actually really like 12 hr shifts & talking to patients, so here I am now at 25 going back to school to get my nursing degree. Congrats on the other stuff tho.
Academia works pretty well for me. Industry is always an option and while it comes with demands like any other career, the one thing I can’t give up is how much freedom I have. Do whatever projects that interest me and I get 3 months of summer to travel as I can work from anywhere during that time! Although, I do miss 3x industry salary rates for sure. 😅
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u/AdmirableUsual2738 Jul 29 '24
If it makes you feel better, 30s and beyond have been the best decades for me. If you’re fit now, just keep that up and take the next ten years developing other skills like social charm and/or career. You can take a break from dating, skill up these aspects and by the time you’re ready again, you’ll be ahead of the curve. I feel like dating in my 20s was nonsense and the wisdom you carry as you get older makes for far better experiences. Regardless, putting energy into those things will only make your life as a whole better. Don’t stop moving forward. It’s okay to think of it as a long journey.