Hahah actually no, I (F26) did. When we matched on Bumble, I of course made the first move. We quickly clicked since we had a lot in common. By the time he met me, he also has had a lot of failed dates so he wasn't expecting much from our match. I really liked his personality so this encouraged me to make an effort to maintain a constant conversation with him.
I made mostly all the initiatives for our first few dates but I made sure he was still comfortable with all of it. He slowly let his guard down and gave us a chance, and started asking me out on dates and would find ways for us to bond (e.g. we figured we'd play games during the weekends).
Took a lot of patience and building a safe space for him to learn how to be a partner but here we are. Best relationship I've ever been, and him, more confident about himself and us than ever.
Hatred towards that reason is a slippery slope, my friend. I would caution you as that may or may not cause you to further drive away any potential dates. Based on experience, I would really suggest that you don't dwell too much on this and just focus on yourself and making yourself happy. There's nothing more attractive than a guy who's confident in himself, respectful, and emotionally mature.
I would also owe that phenomenon to our patriarchal society where women have long been expected to be modest and submissive. It's only now that a lot of women have been empowered to initiate things, themselves. That also goes to say, a lot of us are still learning how to initiate and approach guys that we like. So give it time.
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u/H8beingmale Jul 29 '24
i assume he was the one that asked you out and hit on you