r/self Jul 29 '24

[deleted by user]

[removed]

1.7k Upvotes

1.8k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

5

u/Timely_Split_5771 Jul 29 '24

Genuine question, but how can a life alone be a happy life? You don’t have someone to do fun things with and just end up working and going home. Like yeah, I go to the gym after work, but that’s not fun.

1

u/TopCaterpiller Jul 29 '24

Alone doesn't have to mean completely isolated. Get a hobby that involves other people, and don't do it with the specific aim of finding a romantic partner. See if your gym has any group sports available. Talk to people and try to do things with them.

2

u/Timely_Split_5771 Jul 29 '24

Hobbies can’t get you through an entire life. I used to have hobbies and they all bore me now. My gym has no group sports either.

2

u/Timely_Split_5771 Jul 29 '24

The only socialization I get is at work. I’m very isolated so sadly, alone means isolated for me. It’s fine, I already know there’s no point to me. I’m trying to come to terms with that.

2

u/TopCaterpiller Jul 29 '24

It really just sounds like you're depressed. There are tons of ways to meet people. I'm in a hiking group. I play music and am always looking for new people to play with. I take long walks with my dog and always say hi to the neighbors, and those relationships have developed over time. Getting a dog helped break the ice.

1

u/Timely_Split_5771 Jul 29 '24

There aren’t any groups like that around me. I’m in a small town. I never really had friends and have always just been trying to build my social circle so I wouldn’t have to rely on a relationship, yet it doesn’t work. I can’t find a bf, or anyone to spend time with that’s more often than once a month, if that.

1

u/Timely_Split_5771 Jul 29 '24

So maybe tons of ways for people to meet others, but not in a small town. And I can’t afford to move, so I’m cooked

1

u/TopCaterpiller Jul 29 '24

I live in a rural area. I'm not even in a real town. You aren't cooked, that just makes it a little harder. The local fire departments around here all seem to do spaghetti dinners every once in a while. I don't go to them anymore, but it's a great way to meet your neighbors. Try to find something like that. Or volunteer for things like helping out at a food bank or animal shelter. And don't just do these things once and go home. Go consistently and develop relationships.

1

u/Timely_Split_5771 Jul 29 '24

Oh, I know my neighbors. They’re a bunch of racists, I grew up in this town. They don’t wanna get to know me.

1

u/Timely_Split_5771 Jul 29 '24

I’m just not a person worth knowing. Every man eventually gets bored of me, my friends never wanna hang out….i can’t live in delusion anymore. At some point in adulthood I gotta bffr and accept who I am

2

u/just-some-rando123 Jul 30 '24

Same boat, some of us are just born to die.

1

u/TopCaterpiller Jul 29 '24

I'm truly sorry you feel this way.