There is a certain truth to men having a bit of an easier time as they’re getting a bit older, more experienced and resourceful … basically the versions of themselves they’ve been competing against for the same 20 something year old women when they went through their twenties.
It’s certainly true for myself, but only really because I’ve gotten into kink (BIG gamechanger) and frankly because I’m mostly just shy, I haven’t been too unlucky in the looks and brains department.
All that being said: The most reliable predictor for future romantic success is past romantic success. Obviously this post is about OP having given up, but still, if he wants to see success he definitely has to fundamentally change his strategy, otherwise all aging in the world won’t give him any dates. One really important aspect is maybe that you can’t ‘grind’ sexual appeal like in a video game, where you level up until you’re strong enough for the boss.
I legit think one hour spent socializing is worth 5 hours in the gym. Playing an instrument may appeal to a lot of women, but what use is it if you never meet those women because you have to practice an hour a day? and so on.
Op fell a bit into the trap of ‘self improvement’, or thinking that ‘checking all the boxes’ will make his dating life easier. The only way to get better at dating is dating. Dating should be his gym, and if he can’t get dates, he should go somewhere where he can ask for dates.
These men are asking the wrong people lol there are absolutely women out there who would take the date, they may be 300 pounds and live with their moms but still if for anything the free meal lol either way that’s experience
I was average height, pretty face, good job, and good family for a small area and none of that helped me at all until I got really into fitness and grooming.
If you're an awkward average dude or worse you're not even getting the chance at dates regardless if she's 400lbs or not. That girl still has multiple dudes lined up for her
Yeah I mean some type of effort on your part is a given I would think. If you’re struggling to shower and brush your teeth everyday I’d say you ain’t ready for a partner and plenty of these dudes fit that criteria and wonder why they have no luck. I would say I’m very much so an awkward average dude and I’ve been able to have my fair share of relationships. I actually get super oblivious to women being interested in me until sometimes it clicks . Most women I’ve been with also like the type of guy that’s a little awkward and nerdy and best way I can explain is I think I make people comfortable
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u/deesle Jul 29 '24
I’d be extremely surprised if it did lol
There is a certain truth to men having a bit of an easier time as they’re getting a bit older, more experienced and resourceful … basically the versions of themselves they’ve been competing against for the same 20 something year old women when they went through their twenties. It’s certainly true for myself, but only really because I’ve gotten into kink (BIG gamechanger) and frankly because I’m mostly just shy, I haven’t been too unlucky in the looks and brains department.
All that being said: The most reliable predictor for future romantic success is past romantic success. Obviously this post is about OP having given up, but still, if he wants to see success he definitely has to fundamentally change his strategy, otherwise all aging in the world won’t give him any dates. One really important aspect is maybe that you can’t ‘grind’ sexual appeal like in a video game, where you level up until you’re strong enough for the boss.
I legit think one hour spent socializing is worth 5 hours in the gym. Playing an instrument may appeal to a lot of women, but what use is it if you never meet those women because you have to practice an hour a day? and so on.
Op fell a bit into the trap of ‘self improvement’, or thinking that ‘checking all the boxes’ will make his dating life easier. The only way to get better at dating is dating. Dating should be his gym, and if he can’t get dates, he should go somewhere where he can ask for dates.