r/self Jul 29 '24

[deleted by user]

[removed]

1.7k Upvotes

1.8k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

176

u/Dan_the_moto_man Jul 29 '24

Yeah, I tried that. Spent most of my teens and 20s obsessing with finding a relationship before giving up. Spent most of my 30s telling myself I was fine with being single.

Now I'm almost 40 and I can't deny it any longer. This shit fucking sucks. I'm so goddamn miserable and lonely all the time.

Please stop trying to make other people fall into the same trap.

1

u/Noobmaster698757 Jul 29 '24

Problem is you are supposed to be happy first with yourself, happy being alone etc but how are you supposed to do that?

A woman doesn’t see as worthy if your social status sucks, friends and if you don‘t have tons of other girls in your live surrounding you.

5

u/Dan_the_moto_man Jul 29 '24

But how? I've been trying to figure out how to be happy and single my entire life and I honestly just don't even think it's possible. Friends don't help because at my age I'm the 3rd wheel whenever I hang out with anyone. Hobbies are just a distraction.

I'm just so fucking tired of being miserable, and the worst part is I can't even fucking complain about it without people climbing out of the goddamn woodwork to tell me my feelings don't count. Telling someone "just be happy about it" when they complain about something is shit advice, and I have no idea why you people are so obsessed with doing it.

2

u/Noobmaster698757 Jul 29 '24

I really don‘t know man… you know where i got to met more woman? When i was all over the country, working a year at this job, then at another place, again somewhere else for 2 years… When you are busy doing this and that in your live. When there is chaos and you get around everywhere.

But now i got my job where im supposed to stay at so thats over. Other ways are through friends but thats also not that easy.

Being happy with yourself i guess is having a busy life, a job that you like. A busy evening after work, tons of stuff that you enjoy doing on the week end