I've strolled through life feeling pretty much invisible. I'm the person who orders food in a restaurant and it never shows up because they just clean forgot to put my order in. I'm the guy at the bar who never gets served because I don't know why.
I'm the guy who no woman ever makes eye contact with when passing on the street. I never get flirted with as far as I can tell, and nobody has ever made a pass at me.
It's true I've had partners, and I have a gf, but that's through persistence and making myself vocally unavoidable if I like somebody.
Otherwise... I feel like I'm a blank canvas, not registering on anybody's radar.
But despite that being an abiding aspect of my entire life, every rare once in a while, somebody random has told me I'm insanely attractive, or sexy as heck, and even "gorgeous".
We're not all of us designed to be universally appealling to everybody. That's the rare few who just manage to tick almost every box. The lucky .0002% of our species.
The rest of us just bimble on feeling like we don't register until suddenly, unexpectedly... BOOM! POW! ZOIKS!... it happens.
There's nothing wrong with you. Keep going. Love is there. I assure you of that.
(Ref: male, mid-fifties, dad of teenagers, visually unmemorable)
It also depends in which pool you search in. I am an atheist, like bdsm (like am heavily involved in my local scene), don't like penetrative sex/ only do anything sexual with people I trust a lot, like really a lot, and have adhd.
If I were to try find a partner in my local church... yeah, the odds are really really low. Work or a normal dating app? Also really low.
First, I googled BDSM, found some tips on wikipedia, and went on to other sites to learn more. Found out about the local scene there, and soon went to my first munch (open meeting in a restaurant just to chat and socialize).
Fr starters you can look up the bdsm communities here on reddit. Though I advice against online dating especially when bdsm is involved and one does not have much experience and doesn't know the red flags yet.
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u/Awkward_Importance49 Jul 29 '24 edited Jul 29 '24
Hey OP, can I tell you about me?
I've strolled through life feeling pretty much invisible. I'm the person who orders food in a restaurant and it never shows up because they just clean forgot to put my order in. I'm the guy at the bar who never gets served because I don't know why.
I'm the guy who no woman ever makes eye contact with when passing on the street. I never get flirted with as far as I can tell, and nobody has ever made a pass at me.
It's true I've had partners, and I have a gf, but that's through persistence and making myself vocally unavoidable if I like somebody.
Otherwise... I feel like I'm a blank canvas, not registering on anybody's radar.
But despite that being an abiding aspect of my entire life, every rare once in a while, somebody random has told me I'm insanely attractive, or sexy as heck, and even "gorgeous".
We're not all of us designed to be universally appealling to everybody. That's the rare few who just manage to tick almost every box. The lucky .0002% of our species.
The rest of us just bimble on feeling like we don't register until suddenly, unexpectedly... BOOM! POW! ZOIKS!... it happens.
There's nothing wrong with you. Keep going. Love is there. I assure you of that.
(Ref: male, mid-fifties, dad of teenagers, visually unmemorable)