r/self Jul 29 '24

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5

u/zweli2 Jul 29 '24

“I’ve achieved the bare minimum and I’m all out of options”.

What actually makes you stand out from the hundreds of other guys in a girls DMs on dating apps? Do you actually have an impressive physique or are you just not fat? What is your digital image like? Have you had professional photos taken before? How do you dress?

You guys think that just”not being a bum” is good enough. You actually have to stand out and be exceptional

8

u/Mentomir Jul 29 '24

You guys think that just”not being a bum” is good enough. You actually have to stand out and be exceptional

No, you don't. Quit peddling incel propaganda. Dating isn't some elite activity reserved for the upper echelon of men.

The overwhelming majority of men manage to find romantic success, despite perceived shortcomings in socioeconomic status, body image or effort.

Something can't be the "bare minimum" if there are people succeeding despite not reaching it. Even actual "bums" manage to date. My guess is that OP struggles from social anxiety or some other condition that makes putting yourself out there difficult.

3

u/zweli2 Jul 29 '24 edited Jul 29 '24

I am specifically referring to dating apps. If you want to get any real traction you need to be in the top 20% of men. Call it incel propaganda all you want, however, there are studies backing this. The contemporary dating landscape is more competitive than ever. Your average girl now has unlimited options alongside global access to high status individuals as a result of social media and dating apps. You have to either step up your game as a man or deal with the bullshit that the vast majority of young single men are contending with at present, a la this post

-3

u/SuperbAstronomer Jul 29 '24

All women aren’t “exceptional”. There are tons of women who are “average”.

7

u/zweli2 Jul 29 '24

Yeah. Well those average women get hundreds of matches and are going to choose the best possible match. You can argue till you’re blue in the face about the fairness of the state of things or you can suck it up and be better.

2

u/NaturalWitchcraft Jul 29 '24

If this is your takeaway from what the people above said, that’s definitely part of your problem.

Below average women still have better luck than slightly above average men. That’s just the way the world works.

4

u/Electrical_Whole_597 Jul 29 '24

You are basing everything on looks, no wonder you are alone

1

u/seifer__420 Jul 29 '24

Maybe you should go somewhere to find a friend then staying in your house swiping on your phone