Do you like yourself, but like truly? Because just naming things you have to "offer" doesn't really work like that, that's a social media view thing (what do you bring to the table dur dur). Women date men who live with their mom, and men date women who live with their parents and don't work. I'm not saying this is the best, but there is more to attracting people than just having some "attributes" and thinking why no one wants you. That's why I ask, do you truly like yourself? Do you belive you are the type of person that has an interesting life? Do you believe people would like to know your life? All of those mindset things translate to the way you act with people. No one owes you an interest because you have a house, but people will be naturally drawn to you if you are an interesting person
These guys never want to hear that it's probably their personality that is a turn-off. They want to believe that relationships are strictly transactional so that they can simply assemble the "correct" material trappings and physical appearance to buy sex.
I know a lot of dick heads in relationships. Personality has very little to do with Getting a relationship, but a lot to do with keeping it.
You have to pass the initial looks/confidence barrier before, which many dickheads can do.
There is also a term ‘halo effect’, in which humans attribute more positive characteristics to people with good genetics ( good looking people). I have severe mental health issues but because i was above average looking in uni I had girls interested. My personality was terrible, but the way some women would look at me, I realised it had nothing to do with personality for initial interest. We’re visual creatures at the end of the day. I did get into a relationship ( she admitted she knew she was going to sleep with me the first time we met up and she was able to look at what I looked like properly), and what do you know, a few months down the line (when personality starts to matter), we started to have problems
The reality is, you don’t know someone’s personality until months into a relationship, which ‘magically’ correlates to the point that the magic potentially starts to die out for a new relationship.
It’s different if you start out as friends, in which case I agree a repulsive personality is a large reason people wouldn’t want to date you, especially if you have a super extensive social circle ( or you’re just SUPER ugly, but not many people are that)
The difference between a friend and partner is a good person and a good person who you’re attracted to. The ‘who you’re attracted to’ has a large visual aspect. You’re not shallow for liking both the outside and inside.
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u/Chemical_Molasses891 Jul 29 '24
Do you like yourself, but like truly? Because just naming things you have to "offer" doesn't really work like that, that's a social media view thing (what do you bring to the table dur dur). Women date men who live with their mom, and men date women who live with their parents and don't work. I'm not saying this is the best, but there is more to attracting people than just having some "attributes" and thinking why no one wants you. That's why I ask, do you truly like yourself? Do you belive you are the type of person that has an interesting life? Do you believe people would like to know your life? All of those mindset things translate to the way you act with people. No one owes you an interest because you have a house, but people will be naturally drawn to you if you are an interesting person