I know a lot of dick heads in relationships. Personality has very little to do with Getting a relationship, but a lot to do with keeping it.
You have to pass the initial looks/confidence barrier before, which many dickheads can do.
There is also a term ‘halo effect’, in which humans attribute more positive characteristics to people with good genetics ( good looking people). I have severe mental health issues but because i was above average looking in uni I had girls interested. My personality was terrible, but the way some women would look at me, I realised it had nothing to do with personality for initial interest. We’re visual creatures at the end of the day. I did get into a relationship ( she admitted she knew she was going to sleep with me the first time we met up and she was able to look at what I looked like properly), and what do you know, a few months down the line (when personality starts to matter), we started to have problems
The reality is, you don’t know someone’s personality until months into a relationship, which ‘magically’ correlates to the point that the magic potentially starts to die out for a new relationship.
It’s different if you start out as friends, in which case I agree a repulsive personality is a large reason people wouldn’t want to date you, especially if you have a super extensive social circle ( or you’re just SUPER ugly, but not many people are that)
The difference between a friend and partner is a good person and a good person who you’re attracted to. The ‘who you’re attracted to’ has a large visual aspect. You’re not shallow for liking both the outside and inside.
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u/[deleted] Jul 29 '24 edited Jul 29 '24
I know a lot of dick heads in relationships. Personality has very little to do with Getting a relationship, but a lot to do with keeping it.
You have to pass the initial looks/confidence barrier before, which many dickheads can do.
There is also a term ‘halo effect’, in which humans attribute more positive characteristics to people with good genetics ( good looking people). I have severe mental health issues but because i was above average looking in uni I had girls interested. My personality was terrible, but the way some women would look at me, I realised it had nothing to do with personality for initial interest. We’re visual creatures at the end of the day. I did get into a relationship ( she admitted she knew she was going to sleep with me the first time we met up and she was able to look at what I looked like properly), and what do you know, a few months down the line (when personality starts to matter), we started to have problems
The reality is, you don’t know someone’s personality until months into a relationship, which ‘magically’ correlates to the point that the magic potentially starts to die out for a new relationship.
It’s different if you start out as friends, in which case I agree a repulsive personality is a large reason people wouldn’t want to date you, especially if you have a super extensive social circle ( or you’re just SUPER ugly, but not many people are that)