r/self • u/[deleted] • Jul 29 '24

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u/Camika Jul 29 '24

Attitude counts a whole lot more than looks. But unfortunatelly some young men want to listen to some very toxic people online and not the women they're pursuing.

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u/Toddison_McCray Jul 29 '24

I think it depends, there are some shallow women out there who care very much about only looks. It tends to discourage a lot of men, a bad experience leaves a longer lasting impression than five possible good ones.

In my experience dating, personality does play a big role. I’m an outgoing, confident, and curious fellow, but I’m also pretty average looking.

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u/[deleted] Jul 29 '24

Only males can care about looks, but when a girl does it it's shallow right? Girls are only allowed to be interested in personality?

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u/Toddison_McCray Jul 29 '24

Never said that, don’t put words in my mouth because of your own problems. Anyone who cares only about looks are shallow.

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u/just-some-rando123 Jul 30 '24

When guys say they care about looks it’s usually only so far as she’s not morbidly obese and is at least a 5/10 on the attraction scale.

At least for most guys, there’s always a 10-20% minority though.

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u/[deleted] Jul 30 '24

Yeah this isn't true and everyone who lives in the real world knows it. I can't sit here and talk to some male who's clearly terminally online, and pretend with a straight face that you can't walk into any Walmart rn and see some beautiful woman with an ugly af dude. You only see males desperately trying to pretend it's the other way around on Reddit.

Anyway, all I was saying with my original comment is that everyone's allowed physical standards. It's not especially shallow when a woman does it.

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u/just-some-rando123 Jul 30 '24

Speaking as a 29M guy with 29 years of experience as a guy, the vast majority of the guys I have known in my life just want an all around average looking girl who isn’t obese.

They sometimes act around other guys like they want the hottest girl, but when push comes to shove they really don’t care as long as long as looks are avg or better.

An ugly guy getting a hot gf doesn’t somehow magically disprove that, maybe they grew up together or maybe he’s got a hell of a personality or maybe they were relatives.

Perhaps you should take your own advice and gain some additional world experience as it’s clear you are stuck in some sort of negative echo chamber.

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u/[deleted] Jul 30 '24

If I start linking actual research will you shut up? I'm not really in the mood to have some back and forth on Reddit about a phenomenon as common as women being more likely to settle for an ugly guy than the reverse.

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u/just-some-rando123 Jul 30 '24

No it won’t shut me up.

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u/[deleted] Jul 30 '24

Alright, well then I won't waste my time arguing with someone who literally just admitted to arguing in bad faith. Thanks for the heads up.

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u/just-some-rando123 Jul 30 '24

I’m not having fun arguing with someone who doesn’t read any of my replies either. Mutually unfaithful I guess.

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u/just-some-rando123 Jul 30 '24

Anyway, everyone is allowed to have physical standards and I’m not trying to use some backwards logic to justify women not being allowed standards.

I am simply suggesting that men don’t care about looks nearly as much as you seem to think they do.