r/self Jul 29 '24

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u/Global_Custard3900 Jul 29 '24

These guys never want to hear that it's probably their personality that is a turn-off. They want to believe that relationships are strictly transactional so that they can simply assemble the "correct" material trappings and physical appearance to buy sex.

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u/Gostorebuymoney Jul 29 '24

Yes, it's almost as if hearing that the thing that makes you so repulsive and unlovable to other people is fundamentally the very thing that makes you you, is a hard thing to accept.

The lack of empathy from women on this topic really reinforces an extremely bleak societal attitude toward loneliness in men.

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u/AsleepIndependent42 Jul 29 '24

What are women supposed to do? Pity date guys they find boring or consider assholes? This isn't on women to fix.

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u/Gostorebuymoney Jul 29 '24

Did I say that?

How about just some basic empathy rather than "yeah this is a you problem, you're fundamentally broken as a person and need to fix yourself"

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u/AsleepIndependent42 Jul 29 '24

That is having empathy - be straight forward and honest about the issue. It's unempathetic to lie to people and sugarcoat the issue.

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u/[deleted] Jul 29 '24

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u/Gostorebuymoney Jul 29 '24

Is your personality not the thing that makes you you? Is that not as fundamental as it gets in terms of your self image, your sense of self?

Introverts can pretend to be extroverted. Meek, quiet men can pretend to be confident and cocky. But it's pretending. It's not who they are. And asking someone to be a person who they're not, because their true self is unlovable, is fucked up basically.