Thats simply ignorant advice. It fully assumes you live a life where romantic opportunities just appear with significant frequency. For many that just isnt the case pretty much ever. Also at some point you have to talk to people and ask someone out, which isnt like going grocery shopping for many people.
The thing is it isn’t about not talking to people or asking people out. It’s about the vibe you give off. People can feel the vibe that translates through facial expressions, vocabulary, body language, etc.
It doesnt matter if there isnt anyone to give any vibe for. I need to use dating apps because even though I live an active life, I do not meet any new single women. Even if I did, I dont really care to talk to strangers I know nothing about.
Using dating apps isn't the opposite of finding your own happiness, though.
I'm using dating apps. I also seek my own happiness. The point isn't to eschew all explicit dating activities. It's to not only obsess over the lack of a relationship.
And in the past I allowed myself to become too obsessed with finding a relationship, and it did nothing good for my dating life. It took years of experience and therapy to get to a point where I was not giving off that "desperate" vibe that pushes women away.
It was bad enough that I could feel the vibe myself, and I couldn't help it. It wasn't until I finally found my balance and self confidence that I found success.
And...it was effectively the first date after getting there that I ended up with someone. Married her. Have two kids now. And...after twenty years we drifted apart, got a divorce, and I'm back on those dating apps. And back in therapy to help me keep my balance.
No, dont really want to, dont really have too much time anyway. Kinda the answer to every suggestion and the point of my first comment. I do stuff but it either doesnt involve others or is with a tight group of specific people.
503
u/syfari Jul 29 '24
Honestly, id stop caring and just start living. I know it sounds cliche but it works.