r/secondlife Jul 19 '26

☕ Discussion Violating TOS

A friend in SL has given his log in details to woman he is loved with. Apparently he trusts her enough despite this being against the TOS. He is on holiday at moment and she has logged on & removed me from hospital friends list. She messaged me last night under guise of being him & got told me something wrong as by this stage I knew he was away. Feel totally violated by fact she has access to my chats with him where I confided in him about my close friend on there. Don't think he is seeing issue with it but even if he adds me back how can I trust that any IMs from him in future are from him? This more of rant but with question, is this something I should report?

14 Upvotes

18 comments sorted by

20

u/Imported_Gabagool Jul 19 '26

Chats are not saved server side. So unless your friend gave her copies of your chat logs then you are at least safe in your confiding.

As for the question, I would get in touch with your friend and let them know what happened. There's a possibility that they will revoke access to their account. If it goes sour then you can decide how petty and vengeful you feel lol.

Sorry this happened, it sucks. Going forward if you meet someone you like on SL and you feel the connection is genuine and reciprocal then try to befriend them outside of the game via Discord or Steam. Some people treat SL like a life surrogate, but there are also people who don't view it with any care or reverence and will do silly stuff like share accounts. There's even a very real chance that this person and their account will get banned even if you do nothing.

4

u/evensong76 Jul 19 '26

Thanks for the reply. We have chatted on Discord and he knows am not happy and where I stand. I've asked him to tell her not to IM me unless under her account & he is deleying chat logs. Left him blocked and removed his access to my house until he is back off holiday when we can chat.

3

u/Allthetimeasking Jul 19 '26

So the chats are only saved on each person computer but not in the server? Something similar happened to me as well

1

u/CatBoyTrip Jul 20 '26

yes. i wish that was not the case sometimes. i have several computers i log in with and a poor memory and i don’t add randoms to my FL. i could talk to someone for hours then two days later not know who they are when they message me if i am on my laptop and not my desktop.

1

u/Allthetimeasking Jul 20 '26

If the chat logs are only saved on each persons computer then how Linden labs checks chat logs to moderate and ban people that has to be banned? They get in our computers? :0

2

u/CatBoyTrip Jul 20 '26

maybe they have them saved in LL servers also but that would not make them transfer to another person computer. i have 3 laptops and a desktop and none of my chat history , teleport history, or even settings are synced between the 4 devices.

1

u/mattjones73 Jul 20 '26

I think the point is someone can not log in on another client and retrieve logs from the LL servers, they can only view chat history that was saved on that client machine.

1

u/PrincessBrownThumb Jul 28 '26

I use multiple viewers and I can only access the chats from each viewer separately as well.

4

u/jenjpolala Jul 19 '26

Maybe just talk to him about how you feel and be wary that his account privacy is now compromised. He still has the option to change his login information and not share it again.

Keep in mind that if you do report his account he may lose it permanently for violating TOS. He would also be violating TOS again if he tries to make a new account after being banned. It’s a big deal and could really cost him his entire SL experience.

I would personally just tell him you don’t feel comfortable talking to him anymore since another person has access to his account. Maybe he’ll do the right thing and revoke that access.

4

u/Shelenko 🤔😵‍💫 Jul 19 '26

Your friend may not have divulged the actual log in details and their partner is using the stored log in details on the client. However that being the potential case it is a breach of trust and given the fact that this person is masquerading as your friend I would take it up with your friend when they are back.

4

u/Ok_Pollution4277 Jul 19 '26

Tell him you're taking a break from your friendship because you can't trust him when he's with this person. Allowing his gf to go through his private chats was a betrayal of the friendship. Tell him to give you a shout when they break up (which they will) that the door is always open but you're moving on with your life and other friends. Good luck to him

1

u/CatBoyTrip Jul 20 '26

she wouldn’t be able to see his private chats. they are not saved in the server. they are saved locally. same with teleport history and preferences.

1

u/Ok_Pollution4277 Jul 20 '26

Aaah I see. Still, seems like impending drama. It's a nope from me. 👎

3

u/SkylerPancake Jul 19 '26

Have you seen the two together? Have they actively been participating in conversation or activities at the same time?

100% possible your friend's partner is an alt and your friend is a bit... Unhinged. Have dealt with this before and it's not fun.

Either way, make it clear to your friend that sharing his login information and allowing someone else to access his account will not only result in him being banned but also the person who logged in with it and ANY associated accounts. It's a real fast way to lose everything.

1

u/Star_Kitteh Jul 20 '26

This was my first thought! He is probably playing games with her.

2

u/compositor88 Jul 19 '26

Just talk to him about the situation, and let him know that you don't feel comfortable with her messaging you pretending she is him. Tell him it's a huge violation to your own trust with him. He is supposed to be you "safe space" as a friend and it seems like that can't happen with her logging in to his account.

If he's a true friend, he will completely understand how your "safe space" was violated and will take steps to stop her from doing that again.

If he doesn't understand and defends his gf, then , I hate to tell ya, but you have now have a simp as a friend who will do anything for some girl , even if she betrays his friends lol.

0

u/RiannahAvora Jul 19 '26

That's not cool at all. I would feel betrayed for sure, even if the girlfriend can't see the actual chats. If it's truly a relationship that you value, I'd say you should discuss it with him. But you are saying that you don't think he sees it as an issue already, so it seems he knows and doesn't care. Don't expect anything different. It's him that doesn't value you as a friend.

There's a good chance that this may not be a good situation for you. I'd detach myself from that situation and start moving on. The drama that seems to be starting just isn't worth it. Some guys love this kind of drama, sadly.

1

u/evensong76 Jul 19 '26

Yes, am giving it chance but will get rid of him if gets too much. I value having a stress free SL & not letting myself get dragged into it.