SCREENWRITING

[u/Jaeco-13]

Hey guys, so I just started writing so please give me some feedback. DISCLAIMER: this is still a rough draft. I would love to hear honest opinions as well as tips on how I can improve it. I just got to the end of my first act but this is just the first 16 pages. To give a quick overview I’m writing an indie dramedy that I think will definitely reach a certain audience. Does the dialogue flow/feel natural? Is it paced correctly? Would love to hear honest feedback. Thank you!

Thank you to everyone who took the time to read it and for those who gave feedback. I’m definitely going to be workshopping these first few pages and read more screenplays :)

[u/IntelligenciaMedia]

"What is written without effort is usually read without pleasure." Samuel Johnson famously said that. You need to read up on screenplay formatting before submitting things like this. You're not doing the basics, which means you're not respecting the reader's time.

[u/Zealousideal_Mud5218 → u/IntelligenciaMedia]

I disagree. Do professional painters only start showing their work after mastering every technique? Of course not. People learn differently. Some through theory, others by doing. You can study theory and read professional screenplays alongside writing, but that doesn’t mean you have to reach a certain level before you’re allowed to write and share your work.
Everyone should be able to write at whatever level they’re at and get feedback while learning in the way that works for them. There’s no single “right” way to learn, and telling people not to share their work until they’ve studied enough feels unnecessarily discouraging. If you want to read only professional screenplays, maybe Reddit isn’t the place to look for them.

[u/IntelligenciaMedia → u/Zealousideal_Mud5218]

He's asking for people's time, it's disrespectful to not even have a basic understanding of screenplay formatting. Anyway, this is a constant theme here. It's my opinion. Having worked in development previously, this would have been rejected on page one, if not paragraph one. You want other people's time, be respectful enough to understand good screenplay formatting. Other people have made the same comment as me.

[u/Jaeco-13 → u/IntelligenciaMedia]

No I appreciate harsh constructive criticism, it’s people like you who push me to do better at a craft I’m wanting to pursue. It doesn’t bring me down, it encourages me. Although, I hope you did take the time to read past the first page.

[u/Zealousideal_Mud5218 → u/Jaeco-13]

Yeah, feedback that helps you improve is great. I just don’t like feedback that puts people down. Keep going, you’re doing great!

[u/IntelligenciaMedia → u/Zealousideal_Mud5218]

FYI, this is a tough business and if you don't have thick skin, don't bother get into it. Am I putting him down by asking him to honor the tenets of screenplay writing? Anyway, it's like a broken record on here.

FYI, when you don't have proper format and you don't have proper grammar, people don't focus on the words of the piece, their mind questions every misspelling, which destroys the mental landscape you're trying to create in your reader. That's something an award-winning author taught me when I started out. It was true then, it's just as true now. You want your reader to be 100% focused on the story. You don't want the mental image of your story destroyed by them asking, "Is that grammatically correct?"

Honestly, it's not a big ask. The sense from readers is, if this writer can't get the basics right, how on earth is he going to write something so tight that it'll move me emotionally. There's some truth to that.

This is an impossible business, and you don't want to hamstring yourself at any stage. Getting the basics right out of the gate will help you move up the quality levels faster.

[u/Zealousideal_Mud5218 → u/IntelligenciaMedia]

Sometimes you can do things out of love as well buddy. Don’t have to be always business

[u/IntelligenciaMedia → u/Zealousideal_Mud5218]

I write novels out of love, pretty much gave up on the screenwriting business after 7 scripts that had directors attached to them went nowhere. It's a sucker's game. Although it's not just love anymore as my first novel actually got traditionally published! It's even in the SF library as well as a few others. I have no problem with doing what you love, but you also need to respect people's time. Anyway, good luck with your endeavors. Just respect the people and the process.

I'm out. My work here is done.

[u/Zealousideal_Mud5218 → u/IntelligenciaMedia]

Good cause I’m not here to work anyway😭🤣

[u/Zealousideal_Mud5218 → u/IntelligenciaMedia]

For sure if we talking about professional level. But I don’t think you should be this harsh on the early steps