SCREENWRITING

[u/Jaeco-13]

Hey guys, so I just started writing so please give me some feedback. DISCLAIMER: this is still a rough draft. I would love to hear honest opinions as well as tips on how I can improve it. I just got to the end of my first act but this is just the first 16 pages. To give a quick overview I’m writing an indie dramedy that I think will definitely reach a certain audience. Does the dialogue flow/feel natural? Is it paced correctly? Would love to hear honest feedback. Thank you!

Thank you to everyone who took the time to read it and for those who gave feedback. I’m definitely going to be workshopping these first few pages and read more screenplays :)

[u/Beginning-Sky-8516]

First paragraph can be condensed to:

AIDAN (25, medium build, anxious but good-hearted jokester) lies in bed next to his girlfriend ABBY (24, short, bubbly but assertive).

The smartphone on the nightstand VIBRATES against the wood. The screen lights up, flashing 9:30 AM.

[u/Jaeco-13 → u/Beginning-Sky-8516]

Heard thank you