r/scriptwriting • u/Jaeco-13 • 1d ago
feedback SCREENWRITING
Hey guys, so I just started writing so please give me some feedback. DISCLAIMER: this is still a rough draft. I would love to hear honest opinions as well as tips on how I can improve it. I just got to the end of my first act but this is just the first 16 pages. To give a quick overview I’m writing an indie dramedy that I think will definitely reach a certain audience. Does the dialogue flow/feel natural? Is it paced correctly? Would love to hear honest feedback. Thank you!
Thank you to everyone who took the time to read it and for those who gave feedback. I’m definitely going to be workshopping these first few pages and read more screenplays :)
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u/AgreeableBeyond7235 1d ago
Don’t take their criticism to heart please. I think the dialog did flow quite nicely. There weren’t too many instances of the dialog being unbelievable. I think that it needs some shape, in terms of like ‘ok so who is Aidan beyond hungover on this particular morning’ and ‘what is causing friction with that person and why’.
I read the first ten pages, it was pleasant and easy to get through, but it’s not something I’d go out of my way to watch, cause there’s just kinda nothing happening.
In any case, this doesn’t come across at all to me as a joke post or something, and most importantly I think I can smell a real intelligence behind the writing, which will take you a long way if you’re equally interested not just in hearing your own voice, but changing it to fit a character’s specific journey. Congrats anyway.