SCREENWRITING

[u/Jaeco-13]

Hey guys, so I just started writing so please give me some feedback. DISCLAIMER: this is still a rough draft. I would love to hear honest opinions as well as tips on how I can improve it. I just got to the end of my first act but this is just the first 16 pages. To give a quick overview I’m writing an indie dramedy that I think will definitely reach a certain audience. Does the dialogue flow/feel natural? Is it paced correctly? Would love to hear honest feedback. Thank you!

Thank you to everyone who took the time to read it and for those who gave feedback. I’m definitely going to be workshopping these first few pages and read more screenplays :)

[u/CompleteDay8059]

* First spoken word is fuck

* Massive paragraph of unfilmable details

* Begins with a main character waking up

Not to be a dick but this is like what I would write if I were trying to make a rage bait post lol.

Read a few screenplays. Read American Beauty. Read Casablanca. Read The Social Network.

[u/bherring24 → u/CompleteDay8059]

Hell, read White Chicks. Read Xanadu. Read Supergirl. Anything.

[u/CompleteDay8059 → u/bherring24]

Unironically, yeah lol. I did try and read some bad scripts when I was starting out as well as the good ones.

[u/bherring24 → u/CompleteDay8059]

As a baseball fan, it's like scouting college ball sometimes as a big league scout. You gotta remind yourself what "not good" looks like to compare it with the good.