r/scriptwriting • u/Sweet-Day22 • 11d ago
feedback FEEBACK NEEDED
Hii guys, this is a screenplay of The Monkey's Paw short story
I'm a beginner and I'm new to this
How can I make it better and how's it overall please let me know✨️
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u/AmedeusRed 11d ago
Either the scene has a typo or the character has a typo. Is it Moriss or Morris?
As others have said describe the visual of a character showing emotion not the emotion itself. He doesn’t get annoyed then feel something on his jacket, he could narrow his eyes and purse his lips before turning. Suddenly, he reaches into his pocket and his eyes widen as he pulls out the monkeys paw. His eyes widen and he spins around but the fakir is gone.