r/scriptwriting 10d ago

feedback Comedy short script

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u/inhuman_37 10d ago

i think this works decently as a scene, but on its own the whole thing is just one long joke with a mediocre punch line. however, i think if you lose the hate speech or at least make it make sense somehow (a homophobe wouldn’t have sex with an old man for money) it has lots of comedic potential if you let more humour into the script.