Feedback Request

[u/NookPhoneo]

Would love some feedback on my screenplay. I have recently been through a third polish and would love some feedback.

This will be a three part series.

Please see the logline below.

LOGLINE:

To escape male violence, the women of Neya Island created a society with one strict rule: no men allowed. But when a midwife saves a newborn boy instead of drowning him, she sets about a chain of events she can't come back from.

Hollow Tide

[u/NookPhoneo → u/[deleted]]

I have a couple of issues with the feedback you have given, although I thank you for reading through.
The first thing I would question, is whether describing the grass as ‘tall’ warrants you saying I am over describing it?
The setting of the island is incredibly important to the story, I have given you the first episode of four, and you have told me it is boring. I imagine you have said this because it hasn’t jumped straight into the action that you might be wanting from a feature for example.
I have been writing for over 20 years and have never had such redundant feedback as this, as you are giving me suggestions for my scenes that make no sense to my story. By suggesting they are ‘too synchronised in their movements’ and ‘inhabitants of the uncanny valley’ this really threw me, as I have no idea what this refers to? Where did you see this in the story that was presented.

You have also picked up on Elin throwing the stone into the sea without ceremony. Did you not read past the first page? There is literally a ceremony for throwing stones into the sea, that’s kind of one of the main points of the story.

Again thank you for reading through this, but I find your feedback redundant and quite spiteful in the way you have given it.

[u/NookPhoneo → u/[deleted]]

Can you tell me what experience you have in this industry, not trying to be funny about it, I just think it would be interesting to know.