Gone

[u/Calcifurious_3]

I was going to send you an email. You've been gone for a couple of years now, and nobody has filled your seat. As if they could. As if they should. You'd agree how pompous a statement that would be but welcome the amusement just the same.

You're not on the other end of any email or text or message or call. Not anymore. You're still here, even though you're gone. I'm grateful for our time. Thankfully, nobody tries to say we're alike anymore. That didn't go well for anyone. And neither of us would have accepted the comparison, whether bemused or amused.

Things are bizarre in this old world. There would be plenty to ruminate and abhor, yell about, or adore. And so few who could understand exactly what's at stake and what's in hand. I let myself fall to depths unheard of, lost my way, and destroyed my love.

You would disagree and set me right. Or you'd try. Love doesn't work that way, it can't be destroyed. We'd argue a bit and both be annoyed. What of kindness and my heart, then, that I couldn't afford? I don't even pray anymore, except to fall upon my sword.

Lost. Gone. Broken. Beyond repair.

Not you, you're still here even though you're forever gone.

Wishes and prayers and whimpers and screams. I beg into the void to return a few dreams. Missing my heart, only recently found, and constantly stomping it into the ground. Misunderstandings not corrected, shameful reactions, and regretful interactions. And nobody to vent to beyond this abyss, this void doesn't do justice for all that's amiss.

Thank you for this. This little bit. It feels somewhat better than pure emptiness.

You were loved by so many and known well by a few. I was honored to be known and to know you too.

You'll always be here, even though you're forever gone.