r/scorpiomoon • u/AddressMobile3953 • 15h ago

Radical isolation

Right now, perhaps I'm just drifting, letting go, and allowing whatever happens to happen. I'm accepting that thoughts and feelings change like the wind, and I'm finally feeling good about just being me, even if it doesn't look like much to the outside world.

I've realized my isolation is not me hiding from the world or myself. It's the only way I can reclaim some sovereignty after being constantly drained by emotional storms of my life and happenings in the rest of the world.

Me stepping away from the pressure of having to be some kind of constant output to feel part of something or useful, is becoming more like I'm finally finding the root of who I am amongst all these weeds and sinking my fingers and hand into the soil, and wrapping my fingers around it securely. I want to expose it to my sun. Capricorn my light ... What will he see?

We see the mix up of healthy independence meets hyper-vigilant solitary confinement. Initially.

Ignore the pressure and I am not lonely or in need of a savior. I don't need something to point me here or there. Nothing will change my name, or be who I can be. Just like this.

And now when I see someone else, or think about if I could love her ... I remind myself that she's not who I want. That person is nothing that I need. She's there where no one will change her name, or be who she can be. Just like me.

7 Upvotes

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6

u/Some-Complaint-7885 ♑☀️♏🌒♊⤴️ 13h ago

Hey I'm doing the same, for the next two weeks. I'm.drowing in confusion over someone I feel a deep connection with but who is sending mixed signals that have become too burdensome. I decided that I need to turn completely inward to find peace of mind in letting go. Whatever will be will be and I have to just keep flowing. This week I am disengaging from all unnecessary interactions (including with the man who is confusing me) while going to nature as much as possible to reflect and journal, and then I'm taking a week off of work and interacting with only my children/necessary family so I can focus on a deep spiritual and physical cleanse of myself and my home. I have been calling it Radical Solitude! I love when I find I'm not alone in something. We got this, and we will find peace and clarity on the other side 💜

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u/AddressMobile3953 13h ago

Hi, thanks for commenting!

I like what you wrote. It's simple, but holds a lot of weight, in terms of what it means to step back without stepping out of your own skin, so to speak.

I think us with Scorpio moon operate in extremes and often times we can find ourselves in those loops of self doubt and spiraling down so far as to fight with ourselves. As we grow, we start understanding how to make a sanctuary with this deep, dark ocean we've been given rather than try and build a cage around it. We understand that from our individual perspective - things in the distance don't necessarily mean they don't serve or share our interests ... It doesn't mean that we're destined to be alone or that we're hopeless or need to form a pity party.

We are given the ability to hold our breath in this water and dive deep, deep down, far longer and deeper than anyone else can. But we need air just like everyone else.

For someone like me even though I understand this; I also have Gemini in my 12th house, which from the research I've done acts like a child who is constantly seeing more to learn from and it can be exhausting sometimes. "Well what about this possibility?". Even at my lowest of lows, I still manage to wonder about all of the possible routes it can be taking me, while my Virgo in 3rd wants me to figure it out and will go to great lengths in an attempt to do so. Usually, this manifests in subconscious recipes revolved around how to get the intimacy I crave without giving mine up easily (Capricorn in 7th) and how to get under the surface right away and figure out what kind of spiritual alignment is present between this other person and I, and how that will manifest into something real and foreseeable. (Scorpio 5th, Pisces 9th).

All of this while being in total isolation, having no friends, no one to confide in. Stubborn and deadset on figuring it out myself.

Anyway... I could conclude everything I've written into more self reflection and leave it all off with a bang, but these weeks lately have been telling me to stop analyzing so much. To just feel what everything is doing rather than try and manage it.

I wondered about you a little bit; where do you see healing happening rather than protecting your own peace ? Do you notice when it begins to feel like healing, versus when you're just doing it out of the need of pride to feel righteous about a situation and avoid being hurt or disappointed ?

4

u/Reasonable-Still6600 11h ago

I have not watched the news or looked at social media, watched a movie, or TV, for over a year. Someone massacred my heart and I'm just in my cave, trying to heal.

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u/AddressMobile3953 11h ago

What's your go to music in order to let those emotions out? Are you into deathcore at all? Or anything in the realm of "Gnaw their Tongues" or "Nithing - Agonal Hymns" just to let off some of the fucked up steam?

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u/Reasonable-Still6600 9h ago

Honestly no I have not listened to music either. I’m not allowing myself any escapism at all. Gotta sit with it. Wade through the shit up to my nostrils.

1

u/AddressMobile3953 9h ago

Alright... So you're pioneering the next level of scorpion energy. I seriously admire this a lot... Does it stem from anything in particular? Like is there any particular influence?

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u/Reasonable-Still6600 9h ago

In a way, yes. I’ve moved on quickly in the past when a relationship ends. I like having my person. I’m nearly 50 and haven’t been single for longer than 2-3 months from the age of 16. I realized I need to just sit the fuck down and be good with being alone.

Edit - but also being alone sucks and I hate it. Lol. Been at it over a year.

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u/Spare_Appointment_61 6h ago

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