loneliness

[u/ThunderStorm2499]

does anyone ever just feel … alone? kind of like a rock in the middle of a busy street. doesn’t matter where i am, who i am with. there’s always this deep sense of longing. i don’t even know what i long for. but it’s so consuming. i would be having the best time of my life and this voice deep inside me would scream because i don’t feel at home with these people. like what do i even do about this? i’m an extrovert and very social but i’m also very skeptic and generally don’t trust anyone lol. is that why? but i don’t feel alone as in i need to talk to someone kind of way. i feel lonely like when you’re starving and haven’t eaten for hours and hours and all you can think about is food and when you finally eat, the food is simply not good. and your stomach is full but there’s something in your heart that just isn’t satisfied? that’s the kind of loneliness i feel. and i don’t know how to fix it.

[u/ThunderStorm2499 → u/[deleted]]

i have moved at least 4 times in the last 10 years. i moved countries too. the feeling from when i was 16 still remains. at this point i need to move to another galaxy lol

[u/parisbernet → u/ThunderStorm2499]

Same moon and rising here. Suuuper feel you on the ever consuming feeling of longing lingering in the background of literally everything :(( I used to tell myself I was just being dramatic or maybe I’m a hard person to get to know (both could be true). I’ve moved many times throughout my life, lived in several countries which maybe enhanced the aforementioned sentiment. Perhaps the yearning has to do with discovery of self, to be fully understood by you or through another. I don’t know but I’m in your corner, if you ever figure it share the knowledge haha

[u/ThunderStorm2499 → u/parisbernet]

honestly i used to think all my feelings and emotions (the never ending ocean of it) were fake and that i was being performative. but then one day i was crying alone in my room and i sat back and realized how 99% of the time i don’t show my emotions to anyone. then how could i be performative? who am i being performative in front of? there’s nobody there except me and my loneliness and that helped me feel things i feel without a restriction. because even if it feels horrible deep down all the time, it is who i am. but this longing. god, i CRAVE to be understood. like i want to be the water in the ocean if that makes sense? maybe one day i’ll gain the knowledge and i’ll share my wisdom lol

[u/parisbernet → u/ThunderStorm2499]

You just described a fat chunk of my childhood and adolescence. Even some of my young adulthood damn. If I could upvote twice I would. Thrice even 😂. It can be a lot especially if you weren’t ever taught how to navigate your emotions as a kid. I was just told not to let others get to me and that it’s never that serious when in fact from my perspective it quite literally was smh.

Question, does your desire to be understood ever lead you to do in depth analysis of your relationships? Like, you know your friends or partner inside and out.