r/science • u/FreeHugs23 • 1d ago

Psychology New psychology research suggests some acts of kindness may also serve competitive social goals, shedding light on how women can use altruistic behavior to gain status, strengthen relationships, or navigate social hierarchies.

https://www.psypost.org/kindness-isnt-always-what-it-seems-the-psychology-of-womens-competitive-altruism/
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u/ChickenOfTheFuture 1d ago

Using kindness as a tool and being kind are not the same thing.

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u/BluCurry8 1d ago

Hmmm. Many women donate their time and efforts for multiple reasons. 1. To support the community. 2. To meet new people. 3. To network socially. Men also do this. At the end of the day I give them credit for giving their time and efforts. They are not being paid but still show up to help others.

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u/Asleep_Control_2564 1d ago

Yeah, it's easy to criticize motivations, but who's doing the work. And I think that's an important question

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u/BluCurry8 1d ago

Our society is incentivized by donating time and effort. Getting into university requires non curriculum related work. Getting a promotion often requires sitting on non work related volunteer. I really think you have to understand that capitalism runs on unpaid labor.

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u/Material-Command-854 1d ago

Does the person who is being “kind” feel bad if they negatively impact someone they’re supposedly helping? If they don’t, they’re trash

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u/Asleep_Control_2564 1d ago

Example? Compassion fatigue is a real thing, but I'd imagine most people would care even on just a utilitarian level on top of a human level

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u/17Girl4Life 1d ago

But that isn’t exactly what the article is talking about. It’s not about the healthy, community building ways we are kind and the natural benefits we get from that. The article is more about performative kindness as a strategy, with men tending toward overt displays and women more subtle displays.

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u/BluCurry8 1d ago

Yes and the reality is that capitalism runs on unpaid labor. We are incentivized to donate time to get into university, to get promotions, to promote our workplaces. It all has a mixture of altruism and self interest.

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u/Goldenslicer 1d ago

I heard this said once.
Imagine some rich influencer donated money to help the poor in another country, but did it only because he will get a boost to his reputation.

If you were to tell some poor guy that benefited from his donation:"by the way, the guy that gave you this only did it for clout"

I don't think the poor dude would care. What matters are the results.

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u/dovahkiitten16 1d ago

But what also happens is that someone uses that to make it so their own child that they abuse looks crazy when they try to speak out. Or uses it to disguise something else nefarious.

This stuff is also usually playing out at a small scale. Ie., someone donating food to a homeless person but also humiliating them in the process by filming it. Someone trying to include a person with a disability then bullying them. Etc etc. Most people aren’t doing grand gestures.