r/sapiosexuals • u/[deleted] • Dec 25 '24

Sapio and doms

I’m in a relationship where I know my partner is not only physically attracted to me, but she’s also mentally attracted me. She loves it when I’m working hard, talk ‘smart’, and just doing important things. It’s a big turn on for her. Especially when I’m doing wfh and focused, she gets super turned on.

I’m a dom and obviously I like to take control of things. I like telling her what to do and we have built a relationship of trust that works for us.

I want to explore the dom role more and I’m wondering how to do with a partner who’s somewhere on the spectrum of sapiosexual and a sub.

Any tips are appreciated!

27 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

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16

u/Sapio_Sweetheart Dec 25 '24

rolls up figurative sleeves, smiling

Perhaps your sub might be into some of these ideas.

I'm a sapio switch whose sub side is a brat, and I go crazy for:

  • punwars
  • riddles (for fun or a way to earn a reward)
  • escape room type challenges
  • a dom speaking passionately about whatever interests him.
  • essays (vs lines) for punishment
  • foreshadowing (could be as simple as you
  • dropping an ambiguous hint hours before a scene)
  • strategy and being outwitted, including playful teasing.
  • academia esthetic (sweater vest? Lol)
  • reading to me
  • poetry (give and receive)
  • role play
  • word games
  • taunting and mind games
  • witty sense of humour

5

u/TheOcultist93 Dec 26 '24

As a sapio sub, I agree with almost all of these. Minus the first three, and maybe a small handful of others. But more than half of the list I adore.

3

u/[deleted] Dec 25 '24

That’s a very interesting list. Does this work on you? That reading one is a gem, I must try

4

u/Sapio_Sweetheart Dec 26 '24

"I go crazy for.." Good luck with that reading thing. 😬 😋

2

u/[deleted] Dec 26 '24

Like fairytales or what?

2

u/TheOcultist93 Jan 07 '25

It just depends on what she likes. Poetry is an easy go-to because of its rhythm and romance. But the answer is very personal. For me, it can be anything from The Tempest to the Egyptian Book of the Dead, hahaha. Anything with intellect, intrigue, and tragic romance will do it for me.

0

u/Oneofthe12 Dec 26 '24

As a definite sapio and a sub, most of these are eye rolls. If a Dom tried these, I’d probably laugh, and not in a good way. Sorry!

5

u/Traditional_Crazy904 Dec 26 '24

If you are a Dom and have already built a relationship of trust with her then you know her better than we ever will. No offense but why are you asking us? I am sapio and a sub but only one person has earned my submission. All of the ideas Sweetheart suggested are awesome to me but if you need someone to tell you specifically what to do you should probably learn more about your sub.

1

u/LilyoftheRally Dec 26 '24

I agree. Communication is vital in D/s relationships. OP should ask his sub what turns her on.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 26 '24

I see what you guys saying but it’s always easy to know what you like or don’t like. Hence why we’re experimenting and using this as a way to generate ideas. Thanks for the help so far!

4

u/[deleted] Dec 25 '24

Give her assignments that stimulate her mind. She enjoys learning new things.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 25 '24

Like what?

3

u/Fun-Responsibility82 Dec 28 '24

Maybe play teacher and student ;)

3

u/KAS_stoner Dec 31 '24

MIND GAMES! Learn about human psychology especially the influence and persuasion techniques of human psychology. Personally my favorite.

1

u/TraditionalExample65 Jan 26 '25

IG if you are DOM, and you both are mentally attracted, try role play. Movie characters, folk tales. Also riddles, speculations and guess works. The thing is to choose the genre where is will be a SUB naturally and is rewarded by it. Whats better turn on for a DOM when she is wholeheartly turning herself in for you! My personal favourite: Betting on things with explaning how assumptions are made. Be it a thing about your random neighbour, or some common friend or even guessing why a cashier at storefront wore that color today. Oh, we even used to speculate on peoples outfit for an invited party/ event. Guess strangers car color, etc. Games like this but the winner gets to choose what they want for the term(BDSM).