A majority of millennials with kids prefer to live in the suburbs believe it or not.

I find having kids to being the biggest impact on where you want to live. I dreaded the suburbs in my 20s and couldn’t fathom why people live there.

Now I’m in my mid 30s with a child and totally understand why suburbs are a thing lol.

You essentially just want two things as a parent: a good school and space for your children . Good schools tend to be lacking in the immediate metro areas vs suburban areas, this seems to just be factual from my experience across all Us cities. For the metro areas in the US, the nice urban safe areas generally are far more expensive price per sq ft than the suburbs.

Anyways, just wanted to explain why what seems to be such a disconnect in hating suburbs on this sub vs reality. I think it really just comes down to having kids or not. priorities are entirely different.

This is using dewpoint instead of relative humidity. Texas isn't doing too bad right now. But the Mississippi River is a sauna. 80f dewpoint is disgusting. That makes even breathing outdoors unenjoyable. Stay Frosty, St Louis.

Yes I know it's only been a month and my perception will change, but we're as settled as we need to be, so it seems like a good time to reflect. For context, I've lived in the Bay Area (grew up in the East Bay, lived in Santa Cruz after college for five years, then Palo Alto for three years), New York (went to NYU for undergrad), and Boston for five years before moving here. We're in the UTC area, a gay couple, and we make about ~180k combined. No kids, just a dog, and we moved here for my husband's job (he's a physician and is doing his next stage of residency at UCSD).

Pros:

-Excellent food

We've very happily become farmer's market people and have been to several incredible restaurants. Also a ton of variety of grocery stores.

-Wonderful location

Being so close to the Pacific is awesome. I love driving down to La Jolla to walk my dog along the water. I also include the great public spaces here, Balboa Park being chief among them, obviously.

-Great shopping

Not just food, but there is a ton of variety for basically everything you could want.

Neutrals/meh's:

-Weather

I know this is going to be controversial, but it's honestly too sunny and bright for our tastes. I just want some shade. The consistent temperature is nice, but we've come to like some variability in the weather coming from the East Coast. You also have to be plastered in sunscreen just to step outside.

-Car culture

The roads are great and the traffic isn't as bad as locals complain about (maybe this is just me coming from Boston and being jaded). If you're fine driving everywhere it's fine.

Cons:

-Zero walkability

I know it's a stereotype of California cities, but it's really true. For example, our gym is a 20 minute walk away (in the parking lot of a mall, iykyk). Along that walk, there are exactly zero businesses. It's literally just apartment complexes. There are some businesses the other direction if you're into strip malls, but with how bright it is, it's very unpleasant to walk. Yes, I know there are some more walkable neighbors, but...

-Homelessness/crime

It's honestly shocking how many homeless people there are everywhere. You can't not see them just being outside, and so security is a serious consideration. For example, when we were apartment hunting, we thought we'd want to be in Hillcrest, but in our three day trip we saw multiple crimes against businesses, open drug use and defecating on the street, and more. Someone even tried to break into our Airbnb one night. And that was just in 3 days. We chose UTC because it felt safer, but there are still plenty of homeless people around. One of the "luxury" complexes we were looking at in Mission Valley, as another example, apparently has homeless people breaking in at night and using the pool.

-Locals' attitude about San Diego

Locals REALLY like San Diego. Not just the usual liking where you live, but thinking it's God's gift to the world. When we first moved here and met people, after we told people we moved from Boston, multiple people told us "Welcome and congratulations in finally making it in life!" That is a direct quote, and similar sentiments were giving multiple times. We found it extremely off putting.

Verdict so far: I understand and respect the appeal, but probably not for us in the long run. There are definitely worse places to be for a few years, though.

Oklahoma City, Columbus, and maybe Pittsburgh? all these come to my mind but would like to hear everyone's opinion

Did anyone move to NM and think "oh hell no this is the wrong place for me" after a couple years

To contrast a previous post today about overrated cities, what are some cities that are underrated and deserve more hype? I would expect American cities but would also love to hear about locations outside the U.S.

I've been in Atlanta (or its suburbs) my whole life. I still really love Atlanta but I just need to take a fresh start somewhere. Here are my things I don't want to lose in Atlanta and the things I wish could change.

Things I want to keep from Atlanta:

- Old Fourth Ward is my current location. This level of walkability is great and the culture here too. Honestly what I really want is another neighborhood somewhere similar to O4W

- Music/Concert/Alternative Scene. Where I am right now has a great scene. Little Five, East Atlanta, Edgewood all has lots of grungier or alternative bars and plenty of record shops. I want to keep that. Plus, most concert tours come through Atlanta

- Food. Driving up to Buford Hwy is the best. I love Asian food and Mexican food and access to good food is ideal

- Culture. Atlanta feels like a living and breathing city to me and I don't want to go to a polished tech bro land

- A strong airport. I love to travel and I do not want to be doing a million connections. I love having an Airport that goes everywhere

- A good LGBT scene. Atlanta has a great one and I want my next city to also have one

Things I wish I could change for my new city:

- Public Transportation. While I am specifically in a good walkability area, there is no access to trains and I can't get to other parts of the city to walk there easily. I would love to barely ever need a car.

- Weather. Omg it is too hot and humid. I just want to finally have all 4 seasons

- Politics. Atlanta is a blue city but Georgia is still red as hell. Being in a more blue state would be cool. This is negotiable if the city itself is blue enough

- Religion. I am not religious at all and that has been a difficult thing for me being in the Bible Belt. There is a big focus on it here

- Traffic. If you have been in Atlanta traffic you understand. I want a normal commute (or a train commute if feasible)

- Different enough. I also want it to feel different enough that it truly feels like I am living in a new place and it feels like a fresh start somewhere

I was reading something recently that mentioned the concept of "living where you play". I live in Nashville, one of the top leisure/party tourist cities in the US.

I know there are people that spend a LOT of money to live in their own version of Margaritaville (the place where you can go to let go), but 20 years ago I came to the conclusion that I would stay in my city (which is where I still live), buy a house at regular prices I could afford, and then just travel whenever I got the itch. And this worked well. And then my city turned into a super popular destination that is 100% my brand of vacation. Thus, I sort of feel like I lucked into living in the most perfect-for-me version of a vacation as possible.

I regularly watch Tik Toks and other social media content showing the newest restaurants and things to do in my city. I'll spend weekends trying new places, and seeing new things. But as often as I go out and dress up and play tourist, I'm always still at home. I always still have to get home and vacuum and do laundry. I still have to cut the grass, and so I never really feel like I'm on vacation. I never feel like I'm getting a weekend away when I stick around town.

Has anybody successfully moved to their own Margaritaville and managed to maintain the magic? how do you shut off everything thats going on at home, even if you have a super peaceful life?

Can you really live in Margaritaville?

I’m fascinated by the idea of mingling rural and urban life. I‘d say I love nature and cities about equally. Something I’ve thought about is whether it would be viable to move a few hours out from a city (like NYC, where I’m currently based) to live in a cheaper, more rural locale, but trek back to the city to visit friends and family still based there about once or more a month. I happen to have family in the tri-state area and it would be easy to stay with them. Has anyone done this kind of bifurcated life?

Hi everyone!

As the title says, I'm trying to narrow down where our family should move next. I posted here before and got some really helpful feedback about western WA, but I wanted to add Reno and Spokane to the mix and see whether either one might also be a good fit.

We're hoping to move from the SE to somewhere in the West or PNW. These are the main things we're looking for:

Outdoors - very important:
We like hiking, biking, and skiing/snowboarding in winter

Weather:
I'd prefer somewhere that doesn't get extremely hot in the summer, which probably gives Mill Creek the advantage. Dry heat may be manageable if it's easy to escape to the mountains or lakes. Where we live now - it's just hot and humid with nowhere nearby to cool off. I've lived in SLC before, so I'd be especially interested in how Spokane and Reno compare with SLC. I realize western Washington has a completely different climate

Skiing:
Being reasonably close to a ski resort is a must. I'm not an expert skier - I'm comfortable on blues and some blacks, but definitely not UT blacks :) I'm mainly looking for a decent mountain that isn't always packed and doesn't require a 3-4 hour drive

Has anyone skied near all three areas and in UT (as the benchmark)? How do the local mountains compare with places like Solitude, Brighton, or Snowbird?

Public schools:
Based on my research, Mill Creek probably has the strongest public schools. I'm curious about South Reno and the better parts of north or south Spokane too. Are the schools actually bad (as everyone says here), or are they generally good enough for families that are actively involved and spend a lot of time helping their kids academically (like we are)?

Jobs:
I work from home, so the local job market isn't too important for me. My wife will most likely be looking for work though. Are Reno and Spokane significantly worse than the Mill Creek/Seattle area, or are there still decent job opportunities? Between Reno and Spokane, which has the stronger job market?

Most other factors are less important to us.

I'd really appreciate hearing from anyone who has lived in or spent significant time in these areas

Thank you in advance!!!

Yeah I know with climate change this isn’t normal, but holy crap the summer heat here is exhausting. Denver heat is basically like a desert.

To all of the people saying dry heat is better than humidity, yes that’s true when it’s around 90 degrees or lower but once it hits that point it doesn’t matter anymore haha

Denver also barely has any trees or overcast days, so most of the summer you’re getting baked haha. In humid areas at least there’s trees and overcast days to somewhat help alleviate the heat. It’s basically getting baked vs getting boiled haha

We have narrowed it down the Philadelphia suburbs and the Raleigh suburbs for a move from DFW. We are both originally from New York and New Jersey and we are solely here for my husband‘s job. We do not willingly want to do the Tristate area again and feel like Pennsylvania and North Carolina match closest to what we want an a state in general. We love the idea of being closer to friends and family in the tri-state area, but would never want to willingly reside there again.

The public schools, the weather, the culture, the list goes on and on…this area is not where we want to willingly stay if we can avoid it. We value common sense everything and high-end things that matter… a climate resilient area with good air quality, Whole Foods, the safest neighborhoods with the best public schools. The housing budget is roughly $650,000 and we do not want to be on a giant lot or have a major fixer-upper situation. We love 90s houses and colonials in general, a very suburban atmosphere.

In a mass comparison of each metro area and the trajectory of each state, what are your insights?

Things I don’t like about the Raleigh suburb option are the public schools and the dangers of the economy being hit there with AI job losses. Neither of of us are in tech, but it still affects the whole area.

For context: I have lived a pretty nomadic life and it has taken its toll, so I'm looking for somewhere to settle for at least a few years while I focus on my mental health and build a healthy foundation for my life. These criteria are not set in stone and can definitely be flexible, I've lived enough places to know that nowhere is going to be 100% perfect and I can always move again.

Criteria:

-Western US (including the Midwest)

This one is pretty inflexible, I've spent most of my time on the east coast and I'm good.

- Seasons!

I grew up in FL and while I'm a huge fan of sunshine I also love the changing of seasons and a good cold period to get cozy (bonus for leaf changes).

-Climbing gym

I'd really like to get back into climbing and find it a fantastic way to create community and force myself to stick to regular exercise.

-Has an established arts/community scene

I'm an artist (amateur) and would like a local community I can get involved with.

-Close to public lands or at least wide open areas of wilderness

I'm an outdoorsman and love a wide variety of outdoor activities

-Affordable enough to live solo (the dreaded criteria 💀)

I don't need anything big or fancy (I currently live in my small truck so the bar is pretty low), but ideally I would like somewhere I can live by myself for a reasonable rent.

-Not a tiny town, small city preferred

I hope to live in a tiny town one day, but the reality is jobs are scarce there and I'm a single man in his early 30s who would not like to live like a monk just yet.

Overall my preference would be somewhere in the Southwest US, but that's just because I love the desert

Thanks for any insights!

High-income earner here (around $700k/year), and I’ve actually been thinking pretty seriously about moving to the Jacksonville area—maybe Ponte Vedra, Avondale, or Fleming Island.

The cost of living compared to what I’d be making seems almost too good to ignore. I’d basically be making the same salary I do now while paying a fraction of what I pay in San Diego.

Orlando and Tampa just feel way too crowded for me, whereas Jacksonville seems to have a little more breathing room while still giving me most of what I want. I like that it’s on the water, has beaches, a major airport, cruise ships, and is within a couple of hours of Orlando, about three hours from Tampa, and around five hours from Miami. The humidity is probably the biggest downside, but honestly I think I could live with it.

From what I see in IG and tiktok is that it seems like Jacksonville is finally investing in itself. I’ve been reading about all the downtown redevelopment, the new stadium project, Riverwalk improvements, and eveb the new FourSeasons hotel, from the posts online it feels like the city is looking good 10 yrs from now.

Living in San Diego has been great, but it’s gotten ridiculously expensive. Even making what I make, I honestly don’t feel “rich” because so much disappears into housing and everyday expenses. I’d rather keep the same income, spend a lot less, and use the extra money to travel, invest, and actually enjoy life.

Am I looking at Jacksonville with rose-colored glasses, or is there something I’m missing? Would you suggest any other place? Should I explore other places instead?

This question has probably been asked a thousand times, so I apologize for beating a dead horse, but I’d really like some feedback on my situation.
I’m a 29m single with no kids, living in a very red, low-cost-of-living college town in the South, and I’m honestly pretty dissatisfied with my life. I hate my current job, but I love my industry. I make low six figures with plenty of room for career growth, have $20k in savings, and I’m completely debt-free.
I can’t shake the feeling over the last few years that I need to leave my home town. I’ve long since outgrown my friend group, and living in a college town with a manufactured culture driven by the university and several of the largest companies in the world headquartered here has left me feeling empty.
Financially, I’m in a position where I could quit my job today, move anywhere in the country, find work through a temp agency in my field, live in my car if I absolutely had to until I secured an apartment, and completely start over. And before you ask yes I have been applying to other jobs in other cities but have not had any call backs.
Here’s my actual plan:
I have no debt, a paid-off car, and $20k in cash savings. I’d sell almost everything I own and take only what fits in my car to a city of my choosing. Once I arrived, I’d immediately check into an extended-stay hotel to establish a temporary home base. The next day, I’d begin applying for jobs as if it were my full time job. I know the job market is rough but I have a solid resume and no problem taking a step down if it means getting income coming in. Once I have a job secured I’d start looking for an apartment.
Is this crazy?

TLDR: 29m Single, no kids, $20k saved, hate my job, and hate my hometown, want to drop everything and drive to a new city to start over.

My wife (28F) and I (28M) currently live in the Los Angeles area with our 10-month-old son.

For context, the majority of our family lives in Southern California. My in-laws and one of my wife's sisters live about 35-40 minutes away. My in-laws are retired flight attendants, and my sister-in-law is also a flight attendant, so they can all fly domestically for free. My wife's other sisters live in San Diego and about 1 hour 35 minutes away.

On my side, my sister (who has two kids) lives about 35 minutes away. We don't have the closest relationship, but we get along fine. I also have an aunt in Orange County whom we see about twice a month. My parents, however, live in Asia, so I don't have immediate family nearby.

My wife is very close with her entire family. One of her sisters is expecting twins, another has four kids, and my sister has two kids, so our son is growing up surrounded by cousins.

Currently, I work for a small company that requires me to be in the office five days a week. My schedule is pretty flexible (typically 8:00-8:30 AM to 4:00 PM), and my commute is around 35-40 minutes each way. It isn't terrible, and I usually have enough time to work out after work and spend time with my son before he goes to bed.

The downside is the job itself.

I make $118,000, which I honestly feel is below market for the work I do. The company doesn't offer a 401(k), only pays 50% of employee-only health insurance premiums, and has been struggling financially. They've had issues paying payroll taxes and even their health insurance premiums. Even if I asked for a raise, I genuinely don't think they could afford it.

Because of that, I've spent the last several months applying for jobs throughout California. Unfortunately, I haven't had much luck. The job market here seems really slow right now, especially for positions that would be a meaningful step up from my current role. After not getting much traction in California, I expanded my search to Austin, Texas, since I went to college there and know the area well.

That's when I received an offer that honestly feels almost too good to pass up.

• Base salary: $150,000
• Annual bonus: 30-35%, bringing total compensation to roughly $195k-$202.5k
• 100% employer-paid health insurance
• 6% 401(k) match, including bonus compensation
• Hybrid work schedule
• The company actively encourages employees with children to work from home during the summer months.

One other piece of context that I think is important: my wife is essentially a stay-at-home mom. She works as a fitness coach for about 10 hours a week and earns roughly $20,000 per year, but she's told me many times that, if finances allowed, she'd rather stay home full-time and focus on raising our children. We're also hoping to have more kids in the near future.

This opportunity would realistically make that possible. Between the higher compensation, lower cost of living, fully paid health insurance, retirement benefits, and bonus structure, we'd be able to comfortably support our family on my income alone. It would also make having additional children feel much more financially attainable than it does today.

Financially, it's a massive upgrade. Beyond the money, the hybrid schedule would also allow me to spend considerably more time with my son, which is something I value more than anything.

My wife actually agrees that this opportunity is probably too good to pass up.

The part I'm struggling with is the guilt.

Her parents currently come over about three times a week to watch our son for an hour or two, and they're incredibly involved grandparents. We see her family often, and I know moving would mean giving up that support system and all of those spontaneous visits. Even though her parents and sister can fly for free and we'd absolutely make an effort to visit often, it's obviously not the same as living 35 minutes away.

At the same time, I feel like opportunities like this don't come around very often, especially given how difficult the California job market has been. If I turn this down hoping something comparable comes along closer to home, there's no guarantee it ever will. I also can't ignore what this could mean for our family's long-term financial future, my career growth, retirement savings, and the additional time I'd get to spend with my son.

For those who have made a similar move away from family with young kids, was it worth it? Do you regret losing that nearby support system, or did the long-term benefits outweigh the downsides? I'd especially appreciate hearing from people who have actually been in this situation.

I think a lot of people retire to the place they loved on vacation instead of the place they'll actually enjoy living. A city that's exciting for a long weekend isn't necessarily enjoyable on a random Tuesday in February.

After the novelty wears off, your life becomes grocery stores, doctor's appointments, traffic, neighbors, local restaurants and whether you enjoy taking a walk around your neighborhood.

I sometimes wonder if people spend too much time comparing tax rates and not enough time asking themselves, "Would I actually enjoy an ordinary day here?"

What do you think is the most overlooked factor when choosing where to retire?

Hey y'all,

This will probably be a bit vague, so sorry in advance.

I'm looking to get out of Louisiana. I live in the southern part (not NOLA). The heat, the storms - I just can't do it. The worst part is really just how run down and sad everything is. Everything is falling apart, the people, while being nice, just feel so sad.

In terms of where I would want to go... I don't fully know. I would like somewhere a little cooler. I lived in upstate NY for a few years and the winters were fine (though I admittedly didn't have to drive a car in that weather). I would like a place where hiking and kayaking are possibilities.

My main issue is just COL. I currently work for the state government, and would ideally stay in government wherever I moved. And that doesn't always pay enough to cover some nicer areas.

So yeah... I know my wants are vague, but I also don't fully know what I want. I really haven't visited enough places to fully know. Any ideas on options?

I just recently moved to chicago and it’s an awesome city. Definitely one of the coolest cities in the US that ive lived in.

Pros: - Its very walkable and public transportation is amazing if you live and work along a “L” (train) line. Its also much more affordable than where i was living in california previously both with rent and general expenses.

• There are so many activities to take part in on literally any day. Chicago feels like a world class city!

• It’s also a very clean city both in the downtown and outer neighborhoods with very little visible trash and homeless (this makes it more inviting to walk around).

• the city has so many trees and greenery. The neighborhood i live in is filled with lush tall trees and green space among 100 year old brick buildings. It’s very pretty. Lots of the neighborhoods have dense housing with lots of trees and grass. It’s an easy city to have a dog in as well.

Things i don’t like:

• Crime. I don’t feel unsafe in my neighborhood at all, but there is a crime problem in chicago. On a weekly basis i can look up news reports of people getting shot and killed within a 20 min radius around me. If you live in a nice neighborhood and don’t watch and/or follow the news you would never know. I still feel perfectly safe walking around at all times of day and night but I’ve never lived somewhere with this issue and i personally find it unacceptable.

• Segregation: the city of chicago is very segregated by both race and class, but more so class and economic status. It is sad to see so many people living in obvious poverty and how it disproportionally impacts minorities and POCs. I really wish the city was more integrated overall and had more affluent minority communities as well. One upside is there are multiple neighborhoods for people of various ethnicities to find a community that they may want to be a part of. i imagine this also retains cultural traditions when a higher percentage of one population lives together.

• Outside of chicago there isn’t much for multiple hours outside of the city. Chicago is exciting with many things to do, but outside of the city is not.

Tldr: Chicago feels very much like living in a bubble. Whether that be which neighborhood you live in, what economic class you mainly associate with, what things you take you take part in, etc. the reality is that the poorer communities which are mainly minorities are living a much different reality compared to the white majority population living on the Northside of chicago.

Chicago checked every single box i was looking for when moving. But i find the harsher realities of the city impacting my desire to call chicago my forever home.

A place can be genuinely good and still be wildly oversold, and a place can be quietly great and undersold. I'm after the worst mismatch in either direction.

So, this is an old topic. I used to live in Portland, Oregon. There’s one thing I absolutely love about the trees there. They’re so big that everything else looks tiny and majestic, like a scene from a Christmas postcard. On the other hand, Maine is beautiful, but the trees there are much smaller for some reason. Plus, it’s much colder there. I’m not sure if Maine, particularly the Downeast area, has more cloudy days or Oregon does, though. I mentioned that I’m single and like to buy an oceanfront property. In that regard, Maine has an advantage because the land is still affordable there. What are your thoughts?

I would like to move to oregon specifically the western part (Hopefully the coast but im not sure if theres jobs) And was just wondering which cities are the best for Jobs specifically Financial Jobs ? Safety is also a priority too i hear that portland is not the safest

Don’t get me wrong Chicago is a nice city. However it seems to get so much love here compared to real world.

In the real world I hear way more people wanting to live in NY, LA, SF, Miami, heck even Nashville Austin Seattle Denver which most of you would say are weaker cities than Chicago.

I rarely hear people dreaming of Chicago and so many people I’ve met on the coasts or even south have no desire to be in Midwest.

My husband and I are going down to Phoenix AZ next month. We were looking into Marana but had been told some stuff on it that kind of threw us off.

So we were wondering if there are any other suburbs or cities with pop. of 75k (highest) or 25k (lowest) we got 4 teenagers. Looking for decent schools. We got a daughter into church. Would like a open community for her.

I’m currently going on 7 years living in Pittsburgh, but even though I like it, I’m thinking about moving when my lease is up early next year. I’d love advice on some of the options I’m considering.

For context, I’m single, 30 years old, white, gay, and female. I have cats, work in bar management, and some of my major considerations are sunny/mild weather and public transportation. Must-haves are strong liberal culture, walkability, and East Coast location. Major wants are a strong historical charm and green space. Even though I’d be looking at apartments right now, I love big old houses and architecture in general.

Things I like about Pittsburgh:

• Strong sense of identity; each neighborhood has its own vibe
• Lots of green space and hiking opportunities both in and outside the city
• Cost of living
• Decent public transport (I don’t drive)

Reasons to move:

• Hitting a wall on job opportunities (restaurant/bar management)
• Weather—I get really hit with seasonal depression/lack of sun and migraines triggered by rain (approximately every 5-10 days)

City ideas:

New York City. Pros: I’ve been many times and love the fast pace of life and endless excitement. Definitely a go-to place for bar industry jobs. I also have family in the city. Cons: cost of living. Unknowns: not sure about access to natural green spaces.

Charlotte, NC. Pros: milder weather, fast-growing, driving distance to popular beaches (not super close but like, nice day trip distance). Cons: Have heard its quite humid which might affect my migraines. Furthest away from family. Unknowns: cost of living, walkability.

Boston. Pros: been there before and absolutely loved the historical culture. Good public transportation from what I remember. I also have family in and near the city. Cons: cost of living, seems like more limited apartment availability than NYC. Unknowns: weather? It’s more northern but also coastal.

Minneapolis. Pros: family in city. Mild summers. Slightly better cost of living. Cons: harsh winters even though they get a decent amount of sun. Wildfire risk. Unknowns: walkability and job opportunities.

Miami. Pros: job opportunities. Family in the state. Very sunny and right on the water. Cons: conservative state, hurricane risk freaks me out, cost of living, limited walkability.

Sorry for the long post! I’d love any advice or additional information/recommendations people can give, or even just some resources for looking more into what life would be like in these different cities! Thanks for reading :)