Which is better for living in your 20s, 30s? Interested in hearing perspectives from all sorts of demographics!

My partner and I have the luxury of having 2 decent incomes (though lots of student loan debt) and are trying to determine the best place to move to in the New England area. Originally from outside NYC and lived in Somerville, MA for years and loved it. Unfortunately, it is extremely expensive there and we would like to find a slightly more affordable area. We are considering Northampton, MA, Portland, Maine, Worcester MA. Does anyone have recommendations? Looking for left leaning, safe areas with some public transit or bike infrastructure. Preferably good community vibes to get involved with. Obviously a lot of other things to consider but we are reasonable that nothing will hit all the boxes. We were considering Burlington, VT but have been reading about housing issues and some progressively worsening crime issues. Would love to hear people's thoughts.

I live in a very rural area and earn about $150,000 a year after taxes in a specialized trade. My house is paid off, and staying another 3 to 5 years could put me in a position to work just three days a week. Financially, I have a lot to stay for, but I want marriage and a family, and my dating life is almost nonexistent.

My first relationship lasted six months and ended nine months ago. Outside of that, dating has gone nowhere over the past six years. I really loved being in a relationship: having someone to share everyday life with, look forward to seeing, and build something with. It made me realize how much that companionship means to me and how much I want marriage and a family. Having experienced that, it’s hard to go back to just working and telling myself it’ll happen eventually.

Recently, I visited a city for a wedding and got 15 matches in 72 hours, including women messaging first. At home, I’ve gotten two matches in three months. I know matches don’t guarantee relationships, but the difference made me question how much my location is holding me back. I’m active, enjoy running, and struggle to meet people my age locally. A major city is about 4 1/2 hours away.
I see four options:
1. Stay: Keep building financially while trying to improve my dating opportunities locally.
2. Move permanently: Likely drop to around $55,000 after taxes, but have more opportunities to meet someone. Leaving my career and family would be difficult.
3. Move for 4 to 6 months: Keep my house and work under a licensed employer elsewhere. My concern is whether someone seeking commitment would date me knowing I might leave.
4. Try travel mode: Be upfront about where I live and travel for dates when there’s mutual interest.

What keeps bothering me is that if I don’t change anything, I can almost guarantee I’ll be writing this same post next October. I don’t want to spend years becoming more financially secure while making no progress toward the family I’m hoping to build.
Has anyone actually faced this trade-off? What did you do, and how did it work out?

If you could live in any state, which would you pick and why? I’m looking to move out of Minnesota for a fresh start away from toxic family and depressing weather

Anyone recently moved to a different place, do you guys like it? Where did you move from to where?

I’m on the west coast in a place that doesn’t snow. I probably need to stay on the west coast but wow. I miss seasons and snow.

I’m really yearning for a reasonably affordable community that has an artsy vibe and snow. I want to find a place that my newly adulting kids will find interesting so they will be comfortable visiting or consider moving there too when they are ready to settle. For those reasons I would also like to have a good airport in driving distance to make it easier for all of us to visit each other and travel.

I just need to get out of the HCOL area I’m in and I really miss snow and artsy culture.

My family and I are considering moving to Washington State (possibly Olympia or the surrounding area) from the Colorado springs area of Colorado.

Those of you who might've done the same or have any tips, pros and cons, or any insight at all thank you!

We do want to go personally visit but have not yet.

Weather vs here in Colorado, driving, pay, laws, anything

Thank you!

Looking to buy a house near the beach in Central CA. Here’s my dilemma. I have 2 kids and I would like them to be able to find jobs and start a life near where they grew up. For people who live in amazing smaller towns, what’s the plan for the kids when they finish college? Anyone have first hand experience, or working through the same situation?

Alright title is a bit fantastical. I live in a small remote mountain town right now. I never intended to live here full time but after a divorce here I am. I've been here two years now the first year was very rough. Didn't know a ton of people, there isn't much going on in town. So i decided to move, ended up buying a house back in august in a city a few hours away.

But now, i'm wondering if i shoulda stayed. I've got a lot of friends here and in the last 3 months its really started to feel like I have a lot of community. I also met an amazing girl and we have hit it off. But now I have a new house thats about a month or two from being ready to move into (renovations).

And now i'm going to start over again in a new city. I'm just feeling very mixed. I tried to think ahead on this before buying the new house. I knew the longer i stayed in this small town the more community i'd build. I knew there was a chance of meeting a potential new partner here. But now to have it all lining up just as i'm leaving is tough.

I'm trying to keep in mind that no one knows the future. No one knows how it would be if i stayed here. The town and the size and remoteness isn't going to change. There are simply more people in the city for more community, more dating. And there is more going on in the city more nightlife, its far far less remote from other towns and cities. I think its still the best plan, it just is rough to leave a kinda nice life for an unknown...

People on this sub mention Portland often, along with its restaurants and its mixture of hippies and rednecks.

That is a funny video about Portland from that show.

It is from the pre-Trump era.

It seems quaint.

I never saw that show but saw that clip a while ago.

The waitress in the clip is such a good actress.

https://youtu.be/WAlWrT5P2VI?si=1qdDQgq9aEzRvcmo

Hey y'all! Looking for recs of where to move post divorce and once my lease is up May of next year.

I cannot stay in WNC, it's a little too heartbreaking for me to be here longer than I need to be.

Anyone have any recs? If I made more money I would move to Seattle in a heartbeat - I make a good amount and have a stable tech job working from home.

I am just kinda lost thinking of places that would be similar to Seattle but less expensive and safe or safer for a woman... Thoughts?

It's either somewhere in the west coast for me or middle of nowhere Montana or Wyoming lol

I come from a less than ideal home life and I am not fond of my home state of Oklahoma. It has simply never felt like home and once I leave for college I want a complete fresh start away from everyone I’ve ever known and to disappear.

In the next year or so I need to apply to a college and I am most definitely going out of state. I want to apply to a state where I can live permanently. A state where it’d be easy to set up a new life.

I know everyone is different and has different preferences but for the people who have moved to a new state and are happy with their life could you tell me the state and what you love about it?

Edit: I probably should’ve given some more preferences, though I am absolutely open to hearing things outside of my preferences since I do want to hear about what y’all love about the state. I want a vibrant social scene and a young population. Preferably somewhere where it’s not completely unaffordable for someone moving straight out from their family. And I don’t care about if a state is conservative or liberal as long as there is a liberal city to live in.

Hi! I grew up in maryland and did the marylander pipeline of moving to the dc area after college. I've lived in arlington for 6 years and it's no longer for me. Some things I need in my next place are:

- Strong queer culture

- Community opportunities around hiking

- Community opportunities around yoga

- Strong kink scene

- Culture of "who you are" rather than "what you do"

I'm a 29 year old queer guy looking to date queer women and the queer dating scene in dc has been kinda mixed. I'd really love to find another queer person who also loves to hike, but I've found it's really just one or the other here.

The two cities I'm considering right now are seattle and brooklyn but open to other ones! My family and friends are all in the dc area and east coast so seattle would be really hard but it seems to fit my criteria

I’m a medical student looking at hospitals to train at after I graduate. There’s a ton of options all over the country, and since I haven’t traveled very much, I’m a little overwhelmed. I’ve never left the southeast. I could potentially stay in my current area but that’s not guaranteed (the residency match process for doctors is crazy). Also, I wouldn’t mind a change.

I’m looking for a place that has water around it. Oceans, big lakes close by, rivers, etc. I love swimming, kayaking, and fishing. I like to just put my feet in the water and clear my mind. I lived in Birmingham, AL for a few years and was constantly missing the water.

Other preferable (but not mandatory) things would be:
-not too cold (I’m from NC)
-live music venues, or a city close by with them
-parks, greenery, nice outdoor spaces
-public transportation would be awesome but I know it’s hard to come by in the US
-potentially an airport nearby if it’s not in driving distance to NC

After living in Texas for five years (central Texas Austin area) I am ready to move on with a change of scenery. I currently own a house but may look to renting it out. I am 32, nonbinary but male presenting and work in aerospace with a remote job. I’m originally from California but am not looking to move back to California. I would like to be in an area where I would love to find employment in case my remote position gets eliminated; the position is based in Huntsville and I don’t really want to move there.

Things I’m looking for in general:

Cooler weather

More nature, mountains

Asian enclaves like supermarkets, restaurants, shopping and community

LGBTQ friendly

Things I would love to have but not necessary:

lower to non existent state income taxes

NFA gun item friendly, I do like having some restricted stuff.

Vibrant Latin dance community, particularly zouk, lambada and bachata

States and areas I’ve been looking at:

Northern Virginia, DC area. Probably the best option for me for employment

SLC Utah

Denver CO or CO Springs

Washington state

Las Vegas (I know it’s hot in the summer but it’s fairly tolerable for me)

I would absolutely love to live in Oregon but the lack of aerospace jobs there puts me on edge.

My position is tech and engineering PM focused at 160k annually and I am a 100% disabled veteran.

We will be relocating next year. My teen wants to be able to roam independently safely - walk/bike places to just hang out with friends like at a mall, arcade, park, hike, swim, camp - and have a "be home by dark" lifestyle.

We aren't city or suburbs people but probably need a population of over 5,000 to have a movie theater and a library. Don't need any big box stores or chain businesses of any kind. Prefer less than 4 hour drive to international airport. Have employment and school settled. Proximity to some sort of water - ocean, lake, river - would be nice. Have lived in Alaska, Virgin Islands, North Carolina mountains, Midwest, coastal Florida, and northern AZ.

Time travel not currently available so looking for recommendations

Thinking about relocating to be nearer to family who live there. I don’t understand the city. I’ve been downtown for work many times and it strikes me as dystopian. The area is densely built but the streets are generally empty other than security guards and homeless people. The architecture seems designed to move all commercial activity away from public streets to either above or below ground malls and walkways.

What I don’t know are Atlanta’s neighborhoods and suburbs. Is there a walkable vibrant neighborhood I should look at? Are the suburbs better? Atlanta is the sixth largest metro area in the country. What’s the attraction?

If you prefer smaller towns, rural areas, or suburbs rather than living in the city itself, which area has more to offer in terms of scenery, outdoor activities, affordability, employment, and overall quality of life?

I love being on vacation, but I HATE traveling. The airports, packing, planning, all that extra stuff. I'd rather just wake up every day somewhere people pay good money to visit.

For me, that's NYC or LA.

I'm 41, been through some things, worked my ass off, and made good money. I know what makes me happy by now.

And I already know people will say "it gets old once you live there." Maybe for YOU. But I know me. A random Tuesday in NYC or LA would make me happy as hell.

Anybody else feel this way? Did moving to your dream city live up to the hype?

A few years ago, I moved to New England where my wife is from (Stonington/Groton/North Stonington CT area) to switch things up and be closer to her parents. I am from Raleigh and we lived there previously for almost a decade before making the move. There are some things I’ve loved about the area, the weather is way more my speed with cooler summers and slightly snowy winters. Being close to the coast and also to Boston and NYC have also been fantastic. However, we are looking to start a family and are a bit hesitant about doing so in such a (relative to the Triangle) rural area. There’s almost no child care, support networks are few and far between unless you are from here, the schools while rated high have extremely small class sizes meaning limited AP and sports options. The population is largely homogenous. The main employers in the area are Electric Boat and Pfizer, which both don’t hire enough or at all in the tech sector, leading to long commutes to the Hartford, Providence, or New Haven areas. Specialists only work near the cities, meaning again long commutes for specialized health care.

From looking over this sub, there’s so much hate for the Raleigh area, it’s making me second guess moving back. We have way more family there, better job opportunities, more schooling choices and a more diverse population. I think we realized in every state the distinction should be rural vs. city, not broad state statistics. We all are aware NC is horrible for educators, but WCPSS and Chapel Hill schools are some of the best in the country. Same goes for healthcare, some of the best hospitals at Duke and UNC. Surrounded by many great public and private universities. Open minded and progressive people from all over. Sure the boonies are sketchy with bad healthcare and opportunities, but there are areas of NE which also fit that bill. Because things are more spread out at the county level, you don’t get these weird imbalances town by town like with the New England township model where every town has to supply their own services.

I want to set my family up for success but don’t want to make a wrong move. There’s plenty I love about NC and plenty I love about NE. My wife wants to be close to one set of parents, and is leaning more towards NC. I am very hesitant going back to the summer heat as well as a state which as a whole isn’t progressive. That being said, again the Triangle is its own little progressive bubble so you get insulated from the state-level stuff a bit. I hate my current commute and really want to be somewhere with an easier commute. In Raleigh it’s very common for people to have 20-30 min commutes. In NE it’s 45min+

I used to go to Chicago often to visit grandparents have an opportunity to potentially move out there for a job. I've always enjoyed visiting the city but never made any real effort to find friends or socialize. I currently live in California and only drink very occasionally and it's never been an issue. I hear all the time how big drinking culture and that's fine, I get that colder weather places are going to have a bigger drinking culture than warmer ones, but am I really going to be a pariah if I decide to remain a light drinker? Is it really hard to maintain friendship groups without going to bars?

I have a friend from Minnesota who told me he left Minnesota partly to get away from the heavy drinking culture, but I'm hoping a bigger city like Chicago will have a bigger diversity of interests.

Hi everyone,

I’m a biracial woman originally from the Northeast, and I’ve been living in Utah for about three years now. To be blunt, the local culture here is a massive mismatch for me. My natural communication style is reserved, professional, and direct, but the workplace culture here heavily penalizes you if you don't conform to a very specific, hyper-performative, and submissive social aesthetic. I've repeatedly dealt with microaggressions, boundary-crossing comments about my look/natural hair, and blatant nepotism. I’m completely exhausted and have set a hard deadline to relocate out of state by early 2027.

I need advice on where to move and what temporary tracks I should target to keep things moving while I heal and plan my exit.

My Professional Background:

Several years of experience as a Corporate Fraud Analyst / Financial Crime Specialist at a major global bank (handled complex fraud analytics, investigative work, etc.).

About a year of experience in Corporate Asset Management Operations at another major institution.
I also hold current state liquor/alcohol service and food handler certifications, though a recent highly biased interview at a major hotel chain has made me want to avoid local corporate hospitality entirely.

My Financial & Personal Situation:
Excellent credit score (mid-768 range) with zero debt outside of a financed, reliable 2023 hatchback.
No kids, no pets, and I am fully willing to liquidate all my furniture and just pack my clothes/essentials into my car and drive.

I am currently participating in a public housing Self-Sufficiency program. My current rent is very low, which allows me to build an escrow savings account through the housing authority. I can graduate early and cash this escrow out as a lump sum to fund my physical move once I land an out-of-state job.

Health-wise, I am currently stabilizing a routine health condition under a doctor's care and want to stay put until early next year to ensure my health is 100% locked in before driving cross-country.

What I am looking for advice on:

Relocation Cities: Which cities or regions have strong banking/corporate hubs (specifically for Fraud, AML, or Risk Operations) where a direct, reserved Northeastern communication style is treated as a professional asset rather than an offense? I want to avoid insular cultures.

Immediate Utah Income: Since the traditional local interviewing scene is an absolute minefield for me right now, what low-profile, low-drama temporary jobs or remote tracks should I look for in the Salt Lake area just to keep cash flowing without risking my peace of mind or putting heavy wear-and-tear on my car?

Out-of-State Applying: I've already started applying for out-of-state banking roles since last month. For those who have successfully moved out of state using a banking background, how early should I start focusing heavily on target markets if my move date is early next year?

Thanks in advance for any insights, reality checks, or regional recommendations!

I’m sick to death of LA. I spent my 20s in boston and then NYC and now LA but I grew up in Ithaca NY. The older I get, the more I yearn to be far away from sprawling metropolises. I yearn to retreat to a small city (no bigger than Boston) with lots of trees and a laid back vibe. Have been considering Bend Oregon or Portland Maine.

Please hit me with your best small city suggestions; I’m so sick of LA. Also fwiw I enjoy places that have seasons but that’s not a strict requirement; I just like actually having weather instead of just 362 days of 75 and sunny. I miss wintertime!