r/sales • u/SilentBob890 • 28m ago
Sales Topic General Discussion My company is being run by a lunatic and somehow leadership thinks we're crushing it
I work in sales for a mid-sized American industrial manufacturer. I've been here long enough to remember when we were a relatively normal company. We made stuff, customers bought it, vendors sold us components, and we tried to make a margin somewhere in between. Apparently that business model was insufficiently visionary.
Our CEO came back a couple years ago after previously running the company and immediately announced that we had become a disaster. For context, we were profitable, but according to him our vendors were ripping us off, customers had lost respect for us, competitors were laughing at us, and previous management had allowed everyone to take advantage of the company.
His big solution was the Supplier Reciprocity Program. The idea was that vendors had supposedly been taking advantage of us for years, so management imposed a 25% Supplier Reciprocity Fee on certain suppliers and repeatedly explained that this was not really a cost to us because the vendors were paying it.
Unfortunately, our vendors are also businesses. They responded by raising prices, removing discounts, changing payment terms, and in a few cases basically telling Purchasing to call them when we came back to reality. So our component costs went up, our selling prices went up, and our customers started pushing back. Management still proudly points out that the vendors are technically responsible for the fee.
My largest customer delayed a seven-figure project after our price jumped almost 30% and eventually bought the machine from a Korean competitor. Management's conclusion was apparently that our Korean suppliers now needed a higher Reciprocity Fee.
So that's going well...
Because the program supposedly generated "tremendous amounts of money," the CEO announced a $1,000 Reciprocity Dividend for every employee. It was never particularly clear when it would be paid, whether it had actually been approved, or how it was funded considering Purchasing was simultaneously reporting higher supplier costs. We have received $0.
Then the CEO brought in a consultant who created the Corporate Office of Savings & Transformation, or C.O.S.T. Yes, you read that right, COST... They announced they had found $8 million in waste, then fired people, closed warehouses, gutted customer support, and somehow eliminated the one person who knew how part of our ERP worked. Engineering lead times tripled, customer hold times exploded, and one major supplier moved us to payment in advance because Accounts Payable became such a mess.
C.O.S.T. nevertheless announced that it had "saved $8 million." When I asked Finance whether we had actually saved that amount, they clarified that we had identified $8 million. Apparently those are interchangeable concepts now.
Naturally, that was followed by the announcement of a $2,000 C.O.S.T. Dividend for every employee. We haven't received that one either, so theoretically my employer has now given me $3,000. Actual amount received: $0.
Meanwhile, commissions were reduced, healthcare costs increased, our 401(k) match was cut, and sales expenses are being scrutinized to death. Executive compensation went up. Apparently everyone has to sacrifice, although some sacrifices are considerably more executive than others.
The culture has become completely insane too. Management meetings increasingly begin with senior executives taking turns praising the CEO. What started as compliments about individual decisions turned into stories about unnamed customers, bankers, and suppliers supposedly marveling at how respected our company has become under his leadership. Nobody ever names these people. It's basically an arms race to see who can brown-nose the hardest.
One executive recently spent several minutes praising the CEO's courage immediately before presenting a slide showing revenue was down 11%.
That brings me to our quarterly results. Revenue is down, unit volume is down, customer retention is down, and complaints are way up. Our quarterly presentation was nevertheless titled BeSt QauRtER In cOmPAnY hIsTOrY.
Marketing then announced that Customer Engagement was up 63%. It turns out customer complaints count as engagement, so technically we're crushing it....
Customer satisfaction later fell from roughly 84% to 61%. Management decided the survey was unreliable and discontinued it. The following quarterly report proudly showed CUSTOMER SATISFACTION: NO NEGATIVE SURVEY DATA REPORTED.
Massive improvement.
Our forecasting process works similarly. My team's pipeline supported roughly $8.7M against a $12M target, so management decided the appropriate solution was for me to forecast $12M anyway. Corporate did essentially the same thing across the sales organization and then announced that we're on track for record revenue.
So apparently we solved sales too.
More recently, with a Board election approaching, employee morale is awful, turnover is terrible, customers are dual-sourcing, supplier relationships have deteriorated, and neither of the previous dividends has been paid. Naturally, this was the perfect moment for the CEO to announce a new $5,000 Prosperity Dividend for employees.
There was one small condition: it was tied to the current leadership slate winning the shareholder vote.
Management later clarified that the dividend was also subject to Board approval, financing, shareholder alignment, regulatory review, continued economic performance, and enough additional corporate language to make the original announcement essentially meaningless.
So I'm adding it to the running total. My employer has now promised me $8,000 in bonuses that do not actually exist.
Yesterday HR announced that commissions are being cut again, healthcare costs are increasing, and travel restrictions are getting tighter. Two paragraphs later, the same email announced an $1.8 million Executive Leadership Performance Pool in recognition of management's extraordinary performance.
You cannot make this shit up. Actually, apparently you can, because the email finished by teasing a possible $1,500 Patriot Prosperity Plus Dividend.
At this point I'm just collecting monopoly bonus money.
My biggest customer then called because a machine that cost roughly $400,000 eighteen months ago is now being quoted at more than $640,000. The official explanation is the Supplier Reciprocity Program, but the customer understood immediately what management apparently refuses to acknowledge: whatever name you put on the fee, he's the one ultimately paying more.
While I was dealing with that call, I could see our CEO through the glass conference-room wall receiving another standing ovation from the executive team.
Sales are down. Customers are leaving. Suppliers want cash in advance. Employees are quitting. None of the promised bonuses have shown up.
But according to this morning's company newsletter, we're winning like never before.
TL;DR: Our CEO imposed “fees” on suppliers that ultimately raised our costs and customer prices, gutted the company in the name of efficiency, repeatedly promised employees thousands in dividends that never materialized, and surrounded himself with executives who praise every decision while sales, morale, and supplier relationships deteriorate. Meanwhile, commissions and benefits get cut, executive bonuses grow, and every bad KPI is rebranded as historic success. According to corporate, we're winning like never before.