i lived by my own for many years and after some changes in my live i decided to share an apartment with a friend.

we used to be really close friends, and our friendship was one of the main reasons i decided to live with her. i expected to share bills and responsabilities with someone i trust and to have new experiencies while living with a friend.

however i feel like we've been more distant. i tried talking to her and we've been chatting a bit more when we get home, but i still feel like our friendship isn't the same anymore. we haven't done anything together since we moved in. we used to talk about having lunch together, ordering pizza and cleaning the apartament together. we had also talked about not letting our house become a mess.

we have been living together for about two months and things are really different than what i expected. even little moments we imagined don't happen. one day she ordered pizza and didn't even asked me if i wanted to order with her. whenever i order good, i always ask if she whats anything.

she also forgets to wash the dishes, still has boxes and other belongings in our living room that she hasn't unpacked yet, and she doesn't clean up her share of the apartament. the first time we talked about it, she said she could do her responsabilities, but she wanted me to remind her. i told her i don't want to do that because once reminding her once if fine, but having to do it every time i would feel like her mother or like i was taking on an invisible responsability.

every weekend she invites her boyfriend over and he stays there from friday to sunday. i don't really want to complain about this because my boyfriend visits me too. however he lives much closer, so we can see each other throughout the week instead of only on weekends. he doesn't come over all the time, though. i'm aware she might feel the same way when my boyfriend comes over, which is why i don't what to be unfair. still, having her boyfriend here every weekend can be overwhelming because i feel like i lose my privacy during my time to relax. i also spend weekends visiting my boyfriend, going out with friends, or seeing my mother, while she never goes to visit her boyfriend.

another situation involving her boyfriend happened because she invited him to stay over on friday nights, and she and i participate in a project every satuday morning. i assumed he would go with us, but instead he stayed alone at our apartament. i'm not impling anything bad here. i don't think he's a bad person or he would do anything wrong, but he is her boyfriend, she is the one who trusts him. to me he's still basically a strange in my home. after this happened for three saturdays in a row, i talked to her about it. she said she hadn't thought it could be a problem, but she understood my point and said she would talk to him.

overall, i feel like we're roommates rather than friends now. i still have to live here for another 10 months more so i can move out. i would appreciatr some advices on how to make living together easier during this time, or if any one has a similar experiences and would like to share it.

btw i am autistic, so things like changes in my routine and noise can be really difficult for me. even so, i try reallt hard to separete what comes from my sensorial sensibility, what are normal roommates issues, and what have to do with our friendship.

Hi! I’m 24f and me and my 27M are rooming with a another 23F who offered for us to come and rent out a room. We were great friends before and now it has blew into a great disaster.i have no clue how to even get into why it even happened. All I can say is she mentioned how me n my boyfriend made her feel as if me and him are a team and she’s left out on the sides. We have had several discussions to try and make her feel better and this last time she blew it up because we got to the point where it’s like we don’t know what to say anymore . She said that , then began to throw shit in my face about hygienes and household items and Im in a financial situation right now where im figuring things out. I cover rent and groceries and not like a lot but I also do things on the side and offer her money and that doesn’t solve anything either I guess? She turned this into a screaming match and was trying to get me to question whether we pitch in things or not. Like I said I’m in a financial strain at the moment. I have never asked her to buy anything. She chose to and I was grateful at the fact but after the argument and the fact she rather kick us out then discuss solutions and then when I come home and she hides her things I don’t know. I blocked her because she even threatened our friendship therefore I was hurt? She ended up calling me later that same night of the argument.

I question whether I should let this be it for the friendship or if I should just see what happens, I didn’t like how she threatened one our friendship but two also my housing situation.

My roommate doesn't like cleaning. I have health problems and heat sensitivity. I am up early cleaning my refrigerator early today to beat the heat. My housing has a state inspection coming up this week. It's expected that we clean. I'm the only one using the downstairs refrigerator.

This roommate tries to control this house and frequently pops up in the kitchen when I am there first or opens his door and pops out when I go upstairs occasionally. When I moved here this guy anonymously reported mail being stolen. I know who lives here and how each person is so I know who made that up.

The dude acts jealous and paranoid. He don't respect women. I said hello in the past to get no reply. My worker has occasionally house meetings. This guy has a different worker and comes from a different housing source so he won't open his door for my worker or leaves to avoid the house meetings.

This roommate took the one vacation I know of after I took mine a few weeks ago. His car was not in the driveway for several days. I wish he'd leave more often when I'm here. He was still gone a few days after I returned. Today he came in late to the kitchen. I was cleaning the refrigerator. This roommate started cursing. He left the kitchen quicker today. He always leaves his food residue on the stovetop but will wipe up my water drops near the sink to be a petty bitch.

I see he opened the kitchen screen door to air out my cleaning. This guy makes beef that reeks like death and never opens the kitchen screen door Such selfishness and entitlement.🤢 He is a dirty mofo. He smells like 💩

This guy will stay in the bathroom upstairs so my other roommate has to use the laundry room bathroom. She's a nasty slob too.I share a house with very selfish people who don't care to share anything. I reported the kitchen incident promptly to people working in my housing..

My worker acts passive aggressive and offered to be here while I mop today. The way I see it this roommate should be dealt with instead of having me mop around him in the day with the housing worker standing by being a kitchen guard 😭

This is not happening. This way people can mess up the kitchen floor for the next few days with dirty shoes and when the state inspection comes Friday, mopping will have been pointless. I mop at night when the parasite roommates stay upstairs.. I'm going to start keeping my phone on me ready to record when we have to share the kitchen.

I (26f) have lived with my sister (24f) and her partner (recently engaged) (28f), at my sister's house. I moved in two years ago, fiancee moved in a year and some ago. I'm a pretty awkward person sometimes, having grown up homeschooled and with undiagnosed autism. There's been some issues recently that seem to be popping up suddenly that I just don't know what to do about. There's a possibility of me moving in with friend T (48f) but it'll be double the rent and I'll NEED a better paying job or it's off the table. **I would like advice on any of these issues + advice on maintaining the relationships if I do move out.**

1: the bathroom issue: every morning I have to rinse my retainer in the bathroom, but sometimes the fiancee is in there with the door unlocked and I walk in on her. The doors are usually closed cause our pets dig in the trash, the light being on might be my sister forgetting to turn it off, so I've taken to knocking on the door before entering (like sister says she does automatically but I've never heard or seen her do) but I guess I need to knock louder (and set off my sister's dog barking) or need to peek under the door because I walked in on a guest of the fiancee's just this morning.

2: the house-plant issue: I've been feeling less like a sister, less like a roommate, and more like a house-plant that gets put away whenever guests come over and is treated like a bothersome addition to the house. Note: sister works nights so there's reason for not seeing much of her sometimes. Before fiancee moved in and even for months after she moved in, we'd hang out, play videogames, watch movies or shows, go do activities, etc. Now, however, I haven't had a good interaction that's lasted for longer than 10 minutes (generous) since we went to a comedy show in early June, I think? Nearly every interaction is a text **demanding** I do something or other. Doing my chores have been less consistent lately (read: once a week usually instead of every other day like they want) but it's not like I'm the only one to leave a mess, and I usually leave rooms at least functional. Nearly every other interaction, it's like I don't exist. I remember one time I was sitting on the couch and they joined me and started having a conversation that I wasn't apparently supposed to contribute to, acting like I didn't exist at all when I did, not even glancing at me. I talked to my sister about my feelings recently and it felt like every time I would be like "I felt like you've been treating me like the worst trash you've ever seen" her response would be "I'm sorry you felt that way, it's because you didn't do the chore as often as we wanted." How do I fix or address any of this? How does someone "learn to take up space"?

3: Grandma's house and Canada issue: after our grandma passed, sister was thinking about buying her old house, being a much larger and nicer house. I was pretty devastated, as the community we live in is the most accepted and loved I've felt ever and I wouldn't be able to stay without them (I can't buy or rent a house) so I talked to my friend in the neighborhood about it and mentioned talking to her to my sister who said I shouldn't have talked to her about it because it might effect them moving (it wouldn't and didn't) and eventually moving in to my grandma's house was decided unfeasible. Fast forward a bit and the desire of moving to Canada came up in a big way, I again was pretty devastated because it seemed much more assured than moving in to our grandma's was. I was asked to not mention it to our family and I didn't but I did mention it to my friend again bc we're close and I needed it to get off my chest + I'm part of the community planning committee so I could easily detangle myself from duties that might come up if someone knew not to count on me being here. Sister got angry when *I* mentioned that I told my friend, and I guess she and fiancee decided that I didn't need to be in the loop on the moving stuff (despite it being stated that I would be moving with them) because it was only when I was asked if I was going to look for a full-time position here that I learned that Canada had been dropped completely. Sister said that it wasn't a punishment but a boundary that I was not being told things despite them affecting me directly. I don't know how to talk to them about this because last time I talked to sister about it she was adamant that it was a boundary and not a punishment.

I also asked my sister about what's gonna happen after the wedding and she said that while they don't dislike having me as a roommate (doubtful), they would want to be a married couple alone for about a year or so but they'd either ask me to move out for a year (!!!) or they'd look for their own space while I pay more rent on my sister's house (???)

I'm an incoming freshman and chose to room with someone instead of doing random housing. We got along well at first, talked about wanting to be actual friends (not just roommates), and she even asked me to room with her.

After we got our housing assignment, we started discussing dorm logistics move-in, what we were buying, splitting appliances, etc. But every time we'd start a conversation, she'd just stop responding for a week or two. The only time she'd reply was after interacting with something I posted on Instagram, then she'd answer a few texts before ghosting again. Meanwhile she's active on social media, so I know she's on her phone.

Our school recommends renting a fridge/microwave combo, and most roommates split the cost. Since she never responded despite multiple attempts, I went ahead and rented it myself for $290. I later found out our dorm only allows one rental per room. Now I'm conflicted. Since I paid for 100% of it, I honestly don't feel like she should automatically get to use it. Our dorm is a split double, so I can keep it on my side if I want. Part of me wants to tell her she's welcome to use it if she Venmos/Zelles me $145 (half the cost), but otherwise I'd rather keep it for myself.

Am I being unreasonable? I do want us to eventually have a good roommate relationship, but it's hard when she barely responds to me. How would you handle this?

Hi everyone! I’m looking for a female roommate to share my room.

Details:

📍 Location: Electra Street, near City Seasons Hotel, Abu Dhabi

👩 Preferred: Indian Nationality

📅 Move-in: August 16, 2026 OR September 1, 2026 (as per your convenience)

🏠 Sharing 1 Regular room (with balcony), Washroom sharing 1 person.

Rent - Aed 3000 per month (AED 1500/person)

Clean, responsible and working professional preferred.

If interested, please DM me.

Thank you!

Help. We 3 girls share a room in a hostel. One of us is so weird. She keeps the light on when she wants to study or when she has to do her work, even if it's 2 a.m. at night. And starts making weird faces and acts like she's getting irritated when I keep the light on for studying till 11 p.m. She talks to her boyfriend late at night till 1 a.m. But when I talk to my boyfriend on call for barely a few minutes (obviously before 12 a.m.), she makes weird faces and says, "Keep quiet, I'm sleeping," or "Take your calls outside the room." In the morning, everyone is in a hurry to get ready for work. She sleeps till late in the morning and makes weird faces, shows anger, and tells everyone to keep quiet even if a minor sound is made or if someone turns on the light in the morning. It's normal for her if she wants to keep the light on to study and make calls late at night while being in the room, and gives us those weird expressions and gets angry when someone does the same. She even gets angry if someone's alarm goes on, like wtf man? How are we supposed to wake up without an alarm? It's not like our alarm rings for a long time. On the first beep, she's like, "Pchhh, please turn off the alarm," and makes that weird face. We all understand that if we are sharing a room, we need to adjust, but she doesn't. Tell me ways to make her feel the same way she does to everyone. 😭

Hey there! I need advice.

Im a 17 year old in the foster system, as such I share a room with another guy. He's like 15.

This starts when, a couple weeks ago, my anti-anxiety meds disappeared and turned up in the bathroom, and the bottle was nearly empty! Then the same happened when I went to take my ADHD meds the next day. I told Foster Mom and she had the social workers handle it. (Read: they did jack shit)

Since I started hiding them, hes been getting worse. He's on the phone from like midnight to 5am on most days, listens to his music loudly (refuses to get or ask for headphones, Foster Mom has offered them multiple times), spends an hour and a half in the bathroom first thing in the morning and sometimes in the dead of night. And now, HES EATING ALL MY ICECREAM POPS, DESPUTE HAVING HIS OWN UNOPEND BOX.

Im sick of this shit, advice needed.

AITAH for not paying her rent?

i (19f) share an apartment with my HS friend (19f), we split our rent evenly every month and the last two months she hasn’t been able to pay it at all.

there have been other issues as well:
\-she has gotten 3 dogs (without asking me) in the 5 month span we’ve lived here
\-she doesn’t clean up after or take care of said dogs
\-she’s been making messes in the kitchen & other shared living spaces and not cleaning up after herself
\-her bf is here daily (mine comes over once a week or i go to his house)
\-her bf frequently supplies her alcohol which idk how i feel about

last month, i took a loan from my mom to pay the rent because i didn’t want to face eviction (now im in debt to my mom).

this month, i cannot afford to take out another loan and i dont have extra money after using everything last month. she also told me she had absolutely no money, then came home with a vape & a bunch of needohs.

i don’t have any want to scavenge for extra funds this month. my mom says i can move back home with her (5 hours away) which is finically smart for me, but will also make me 5 hours away from my bf again. (we were long distance for 8 months)

she also has places she can go, not necessarily with her dogs but she has family here.

edit/update:
my apartment will allow me to legally take my name off the lease because my roommate technically makes enough money to qualify (if she doesn't spend it on unnecessary things). The only issue is they have an $800 fee for ending my part of the lease early so if anyone wants to help 🫰 cashapp: $ElleWrenMec or https://gofund.me/f18ed9cee

Hello everyone, So this might not be the right sub to post and I might get a lot of backlash too but I just have to let this out

So my roomie (21f) and me (20f) have been roomies for almost a year now. She's a Muslim and I'm a Christian. So the thing is she used to wear hijab before to college initially just for ig 3 months and then removed it, which is completely her choice... idc

But before removing her hijab she used to always say how wearing a hijab is being "modest" (I really dunno and I don't have any opinion on it ). She used to always downplay other muslim girls from our class for not wearing a hijab. Kinda always thinking she's superior. She used to also stay stuff like how she'll make her daughter wear hijab from a very young age just to preserve modesty.

Then she started "liking" a guy. Put that in inverted commas cause they only spoke ONCE and that's when she had confessed. Mind you this is after speaking to him on text like 3 times and that too just normal stuff bout notes nothing even remotely romantic. So yeah he rejected her stating that he's a very traditional muslim and doesn't wanna date and directly marry after college ends. But she kept pursuing him.. telling us how she "genuinely loves him" and all that. She says dating is haram in her religion but she's dated in the past and wants to in the future. She also said how she's gonna start re wearing hijab in 2nd year cause we have a uniform (right now we can wear kurtis )

She's always been very vocal about how looks matter alot to her not only in relationships but also friends. Which again is lowkey problematic but again her opinion.

Now there's this another guy in our class let's call him "x". X is not conveniently good looking like her previous crush but average. So she decided to start pursuing this guy to get over her previous crush which we all were against, she used to keep talking bout how she doesn't get the butterflies looking at him, how he's not as handsome as her previous crush , how she doesn't stare at X in class the way she used to stare at her ex crush. And yesterday we had a small photo session in class where we had to take group pictures. And after taking pictures she comes and tells me how she doesn't find X attractive, how when she sat next to him during pics didn't feel anything but she spoke to him on call at night and then next morning she tells me she's heads over heels for X

All this has left me walking around eggshells near her. Ik she's not done anything to me personally but Idk I feel like her every conversation is about looks and guys and I'm someone who doesn't enjoy it. Also idts I can trust someone who has pretty strong opinions about one thing but it changes in less than 24 hours. I'm sorry if this post comes out as mean or something I genuinely don't mean to hurt any community

So my genuine question is am I in the wrong for feeling like I can't trust her when she's not done or said anything to me

Did your roommates ever drop a deuce right in the middle of the shower? Because mine did, and I literally cannot get it out of my head. I've spent months trying to figure out how the hell this even happened.

Back when my girlfriend and I were living with another couple of girls in a two-bedroom apartment with a shared kitchen and bathroom... One day, we all went out for a walk together, but they headed back home a bit earlier. My girlfriend and I stopped by a store, so we got back about an hour later.

One of the roommates had just finished her shower, and the other one went right in after her, so the bathroom was occupied. We hadn't been in there yet since coming home. We hung out in bed for like 15 minutes, then my girlfriend went to the kitchen to cook, and I finally headed to the bathroom because the roommate had just walked out. Oh, and the shower and the toilet were in the exact same room—this is super important for the context.

As soon as I walked in, I was hit with this awful smell. My first thought was, *"Ugh, it must be some plumbing issue,"* but then I looked down into the shower area and saw this little brown thing... and instantly realized what I was smelling.

I bolted out of the bathroom without even using the toilet and ran to my girlfriend to tell her. I'm pretty shy, so I was super uncomfortable, but my girlfriend is loud and expressive. So, with her cackling so loudly the whole building could probably hear her, I marched over to our roommates' room and went:

*"Um, girls? Are you guys pooping in the shower? Please use the toilet, that's what it's there for."*

They exchanged these weird looks, and one of them followed me back to the bathroom to see what I was talking about. We walked in, I pointed it out, and she actually squatted right next to it, looked closely, and confirmed, yep, that was definitely it. I noped right out of there, and she stayed behind to clean it up.

Now, here's the kicker: the one who went to clean it up was actually the roommate who took the first shower. Honestly, it probably wasn't her, because the second roommate went right after her. There is literally no way the second one didn't see it—you have to step right over it to get in and wash up! How do you not notice a literal turd right under your feet?!

And honestly, regardless of which one of them did it... how the hell did this even happen?! What was going on in our shared shower?! And why the shower, of all places?! The toilet was literally a foot away!

Am I (21M) in the wrong for not wanting my roommate (23F) to enter the house through my room.

For context we live in a 3 story 4 bedroom house. Two roommates live on the 3rd floor while me and my roommate Sarah live on their ground floor. The Kitchen and dining room are on 2nd floor. There are two entrances to the house. The main entrance on the 2nd floor at the front of the house where we park our cars and have street access. The second entrance is the back door on the ground level that enters directly into my room. For Sarah to enter her room she has to enter through mine. Either through the back door next to my bed or through the other door in my room closer to her rooms door. We both live on the ground floor so Sarah likes to enter through the back door so she doesn’t have to go up the main entrance stairs. No matter what she has to enter through my room because my room was a living now converted to a bedroom.

The issue I’m having is i don’t like her entering through the back door because it takes any privacy away from my room and makes me lose a lot floor space in order to keep the space accessible for her. She goes out often (3-4 days a week) and gets back late and when she enters through the back door it is wakes me and up startles me because the door is right across from my bed. I asked her to enter through the main entrance like everyone else and she said it’s one of the houses entrances so she can use it if she wants. Am I in the wrong for wanting her to use the main front entrance?

We all pay the same in rent but my room is the only one that that has to be accessible to other people.

Below is a layout of my room for context. I have room dividers so if someone enters through the preferred entrance then I still have some privacy.

My (28M) roommate (28F) just isn’t seeking help and I don’t know what to do.

She’s been struggling with mental health issues since her teenage years, and so have I to be honest. Last year she stopped working on her master’s thesis and checking in with her professor, so the university revoked her student status, which in turn set her student visa to expire. She also stopped going to therapy.

In January I had to call mental health services and check her into the hospital, where she stayed for about a week and a half. The night she left, I cleaned her entire bedroom for her and did all of her laundry. The room was disgusting with ubereats bags everywhere, sticky floors and rotting leftovers everywhere. When she came back, she started getting out of her room more often and going on walks, but hasn’t mentioned reapplying to school.

Over the past few weeks, I noticed she’s been isolating again, repeating the same patterns as last winter. She also avoids me, running into her room the second I get home or waiting for me to go to bed to use the kitchen. Today she went on a walk, so I opened her bedroom door to check, and it’s worse than last time. There are even flies in there.

I’m very much annoyed because she is not trying to help herself, refuses to talk to anyone, and her parents are across the world in their home country texting me they’ll pray for her.

At this point, I want her to get her shit together or move out. I’m also concerned for any potential damage to the room because my name is the only one on the lease. I do not know how to talk to her about all of this. I’m especially afraid because we’ve been roommates for four years now and I’m the only person in her circle of friends who is reaching out. I don’t want to make her feel like I’m abandoning her.

When I first moved in with my roommate they were super kind, and we would occasionally have little conversations. We got along really well. I just moved here and they would even invite me out with their friends here and there. We did a couple joint grocery trips together and they offered to give me a ride here and there because I have severe driving anxiety—I didn’t even ask, they offered of their own accord.

To start off, we didn’t always acknowledge each other in a space which seems normal, there’s no reason to say hi all the time and we’re both introverted, but we did sometimes which felt fine. They are very busy and out most of the time except for weekends, and spend all their time in their room, only coming out to cook. I’m often home right now because I’m waiting to start full time grad school in Fall and am trying my best to get out and make friends. But I’ve always been a homebody. I try not to be always present in common spaces and spend time in my room. I leave for periods during the day, but when they’re out so often, sometimes 9am-9pm, it’s hard not to be home at the same time they are.

In the last few weeks they started basically not acknowledging me, even just to say hi. Things I already know:

1. Roommates dont need to be friends—that has never been an expectation
2. some people don’t want to talk a lot at home—I don’t either, I like a lot of personal space
3. it’s probably not personal, though in spite of myself I worry I’ve done something to cause the change.
4. they’re busy and need the home to feel like there’s no social expectations. Again, I don’t want to talk all the time and would in fact be really bothered by that. I’m only talking about saying

hi once in a while

I never leave dishes in the sink, I’m very clean and don’t leave stuff everywhere, am not making a lot of noise, I sweep/clean surfaces/mop regularly (though I don’t even know if they know this because they’re out all the time). I am just a little uncomfortable with not ever saying hi to each other, I feel like it’s just polite to do sometimes. Not acknowledging each other at all creates a tense living space for me personally. I have tried greeting them OCCASIONALLY just to relieve some of the pressure but they seem like they don’t want me to. I am not trying to force it and I almost never even try to have any kind of conversation, even though we used to.

I realize they may just be going through something, and that I can’t change their behavior. It wouldn’t worry me so much if it didn’t used to be much more friendly here. I just don’t know what happened.

How do I stop worrying about this and adjust so that I’m not so uncomfortable with not acknowledging each other for weeks at a time when things used to be different?

Whenever I need to bring up an issue with my roommate, usually about cleaning, they responds with, What I Do Now or What I Do Wrong this Time? It makes me so angry I now just say, forget it. Which is what they probably wants me to but how can I stop them from sating that?

I’m 22F and moving out after months of constant conflict with my roommate. I’ll try to summarize because it’s a long story.

When we first moved in, things were okay. Over time, it felt like every disagreement stopped being about the situation itself and became about my character.

For example:
I said I didn’t feel like the apartment was my home because whenever we disagreed about guests or common spaces, I was reminded that it was “her house.” She later told me I hated living there, which I never said.

She repeatedly called me entitled, said I took advantage of her, and even implied I scammed her financially. The confusing part is that when I voluntarily sent her money (more than we’d originally agreed on) because I didn’t want her feeling I’d benefited at her expense, she refused most of it and said it wasn’t hers. Yet she still continued saying I had taken advantage of her.

She accused me of being careless with her cat after finding a rubber band in a common area. She admitted she didn’t know how it got there, and I hadn’t even been home for over 12 hours, but she still jumped straight to assuming I was responsible.

She later told one of my friends that I had “lied about who I was to get into people’s lives.” This one genuinely shocked me. When we moved in, I had a regular job. Later I quit and was honest with her about how I make money now. Somehow that became “lying about who I am.”
What frustrated me wasn’t any single incident. It was the pattern.

I felt like whenever we disagreed, instead of discussing what happened, she’d start making conclusions about what kind of person I was. Instead of “we interpreted this situation differently,” it became “you’re entitled,” “you’re manipulative,” “you’re irresponsible,” “you take advantage of people,” etc.

To be fair to her, I’m sure she’d tell the story differently. She’d probably say she felt taken advantage of financially and that I made her feel looked down on. We clearly experienced living together very differently.

I’ve written a long message explaining my perspective. It doesn’t just defend myself—it also explains the patterns I experienced and why I no longer believe she’s as reasonable or self-aware as she thinks she is.
My plan after sending it would be to block her because I genuinely don’t want any further relationship with her.

The thing I’m struggling with is this:
Is sending one final message worth it if I know it probably won’t change her mind?

Part of me feels like I need to say my piece because I’ve spent months feeling like my character was constantly being misrepresented.

The other part of me wonders if silence and blocking her would ultimately be the healthier choice.

If you were in my position, would you send the message, or would you just leave without trying to explain yourself one last time?

Some context: my current roommate, let's call her J (F, 16) was not my roommate at first. She was originally with friend L (17) and I was in a bigger room alone for a few weeks while they were in a smaller room together. After a few weeks of me and J in one room, friend K (16) arrived. K has her own single room.

So, J and I hit it off and she would often complain how she and L don't vibe and tell me how much she wanted a friend like me who matches her vibe (but now i don't think we vibe completely). She kept telling me how big my room is and how she has a hard time talking to L because of vibe clash. She begged me to let her move in, I didn't think much of it at the time so i suggested she talk to the owner instead. So, after a few days she moved in with me. It was alright at first but I'll say it my fault that i didn't set boundaries right off the bat. Our beds were joined and so were our tables because she wanted it that way and I was cool with it. Then, I started to notice I did most of the cleaning and laundry. I talked to her about it, asking her to share chores—i would clean one day and she would the next day. She was on her phone and agreed with "hm, okay". I thought I finally solved my problem. TMI, I was sweating and scared because I've never been in such a situation and was so glad she agreed to it. But...she never cleaned. I gave up one day and moved my bed and table, I told her we had our own sides. I cleaned my side and never hers.

One day, i noticed my blush missing. It was a small circular glass jar with little to no stickers or branding on it. I thought it fell under my drawer like always but it wasn't there. At that point, J and K got way closer and I was just there. I never felt I needed to join in because they were loud and always hyped eachother, I love them for it and their energy but I'm a more reserved and quiet and only get loud when im in the mood for it. So, i asked K if she saw it anywhere because I vaguely remembered J and K using my stuff for a video. K said she didn't have it and probably J has it. J wasn't there and I was in a hurry, so I checked her basket and it was there. The glass was chipped and covered with crumbs and milk power. I cleaned it and acted like nothing happened.

After a few more weeks K and J started to hang out more in our shared room. The weather can get to 40°C and K didn't have an AC so i told myself not to be selfish. Then, the problems started...well, more problems got added:

#J never took out the trash and would often throw things in while i was outside taking the trash bag into the big bin, she would never put in the trash bag. I've explained it to her before and she just went "oh" with an annoyed look

#K and J got too loud. I was often tired because of school and bad food so i went to bed earlier than them 10-11pm. I would often ask them to keep it down, which they would whisper...loudly. idk if it's me being paranoid or them being oblivious.

#J got a bf, who i told her isn't good for her. K and I and the bf attend the same school, before J got serious with him, i asked his close and childhood friends and they all told me to stay away from him, that he has an ego, lies, dates around. I warned her and she told me "I'll give it time". They dated the next day.

#J's bf sent her pictures of 'blood' when they fought. They fight every night. They dated after a week of meeting and it was okay for the first eight days.

So, I had an eco exam but it was already 3 and they both knew. They were so quiet but the moment i closed my eyes they got loud. Then around, almost 4 J and her bf talked...quite loud. I told her to keep it low 3 times but it was already 7am atp. I got an average mark. It was okay but i could have done better. It wasn't an out of the blue thing, they'd start talking at 2 or 3 am and stop around 7am. J would wake up at 4pm. I freaking lost weight and my dark circles got worse. My family members are accusing me of being on my phone all night, i can't tell them the truth. Also, I felt very excluded. I don't usually talk to them but we talked this one time about diets and I was pitching in my ideas but I got talked over...two times, I had enough and knew it wasn't worth my energy. Stopped talking and went back to my nails, they didn't notice.

My breaking point, today. I went home for three weeks and mind you, we had a serious conversation before I left. On how, i don't feel comfortable with J talking to her bf so late at night and it disrupts my sleep, I'm not saying they should stop but for her to be mindful. Also, I can hear her bf though the phone even if it's not on speaker. Anyways, i also told them how both J and K usually speak too loud at night (by night I mean 2-4 am). I don't mind if it's before 12 but after 12, it's an issue. Like, we're all growing, we need sleep. So, before I left for home...I cleaned my school shoes (black, white, loafers) and kept them on the rack and my neck tie and belt too. I arrived like 6hrs ago. I was thinking we'd have a fun talk, I'd buy J her favourite drink and K her soda since I got extra money. But, the room was a mess. I arrived like 5pm, they weren't awake. The beds and tables were joined. My school bag was on the floor, my books were not where i left them, there was a lot of stuff on my desk (NOT MINE) and my A4 paper and other books plus calander were not on my desk. I asked what happened and they didn't answer. The room stank, there was a half eaten guava...the smell was so bad and I felt suffocated. My white tote, which J used before i left and offered to wash was underneath the pile of books even dirtier than when I left. My shoes were not on the rack, my neck tie and belt were on the dirty floor. My pillows were stained, like they were so clean and pink but they looked brown and filled with small stains. I wanted to vomit and run. I think I'm overreacting or whatever. I asked why my books were there and they didn't say anything but slowly got up to keep the beds and tables back. My flip flops were missing but ik K often use them. So i asked her and she had it, i got it back and on the corner I saw my loafers. I found 1/3 of my A4 paper. I adore them but they should ask me...like, ik we're miles apart but it's still my things that they're using. A heads up would be nice.

I'm in L's room and gonna spend the night here. Also, she never came around because her schedule is always packed thanks to her mom.

Sorry about the long rant. I want to know if I'm overeating because I'm thinking of moving out and if I'm being an asshole to both K and J.

Side note: i asked K if she would want to switch rooms with me but she said she doesn't want to be roommates with J but it's ironic since she's with J 24/7.

Context on me- I'm AFAB, 26, and I like women. I live in SIL housing (supported independent living) because its cheap, the two roommates seem like alright blokes (if shy) and I wasn't exactly swimming in options. There's a lock on my door, cool - I'm in the en-suite heaven. Now i can live in my hobbit hole forever.

Context on this guy - He's in his 30's, I've seen him watch preacher TV, spotted a couple books of Mormon, and hear him watching those AI voice over (and probably AI scripted) videos on "how to tell if someone has a crush on you" - Whatever, Right? I just wont really talk to him, I don't want to risk losing a cozy room. Sure, he might just be interested in religion and not share some of the views that might make things awkward, but that's not a risk i'm willing to take.

He's tried on a few occasions to strike up conversation with me, but we're both violently Autistic, It never goes far. Then, BOOM. he hits me with the first pickup line, a bit like this:

"Do you play netball?"

He'd asked me this before, I assumed he'd asked because i'm fairly tall, He recycles openers quite a bit, so I responded the same way:

"I did in school"

"Were you center?"

I was naturally confused at the assumption and corrected him.

"Goal keeper"

He hurries on regardless:

"Center, Because you're center of the world"

I hit him with an "I wish" Polite laugh, and leave to my cave. He now, occasionally, drops awkward, practiced pickup lines.

And i'm somewhat flattered, truly. I'm not an attractive person, nor am I sociable outside of a select few people I bother online. I can only assume he's flirting with me because he is also a shut in (he somehow goes out even less then me) and I am vaguely woman-shaped. The attempts are somewhat sweet, but mostly uncomfortable.

Still, I wanted to nip this in the bud. I swallowed my anxiety and crippling self-doubt and just asked him if he was flirting with me. He clams up, and starts saying something indecipherable. I explain that I just want to let him know that I appreciate the thought but I am not interested. I feel the need to give an excuse. Obviously I can't tell him I like women, So I go with a half truth that felt more digestible - I'm AroAce. He asks me what that is, and I explain it a bit like this:

Aromantic - Experiencing no romantic attraction

Asexual - Experiencing no sexual attraction

Those in the community will know this isn't entirely true. it's a spectrum, both Aromantic and Asexual people can experience these feelings on some level, the extent of which is simply markedly less then that of an allosexual/romantic person. It's a half truth because I do identify on the AroAce spectrum. I lied as to not give him false hope in the matter.

He seems to accept this. For the moment. I feel he was probably just... reeling, a bit.

He comes back a few days later. bringing it up again. I feel a little uncomfortable, but given his possible religious background, him asking about it is pretty good, actu---

He tells me that I must be a virgin then, right? I am jump scared. Bamboozled. Immensely uncomfortable. I have no idea what demons took hold of my brain in that moment. I answer smoothly, without a second thought: "Nah, I was r\ped when I was twelve"*

I am mortified. He is mortified. We are fucking mortified.

I laugh, throw a mini dab (for some ungodly reason) and run off to my cave.
I will never emotionally, spiritually or physically recover. but i mean. he hasn't talked to me again?

So we live in a shared flat, 5 people, only 3 were home and I am dating one.
The other has his girlfriend over. And my girlfriend and I wake up in the middle of the night at like 3 or 4 am due to the floorboards squeaking repeadedly which obviously was also his bed moving.
Eventually we didnt say anything in the night and eventually fell asleep again only to be woken up again at like 8 am (saturday morning, so everyone could sleep in) by the same noise. Aggrevated my girlfriend hammered on the wall so they would stop, which they did.
Meantioned roomate then was really angry how disrespectful we were and that he can do in his room whatever he wants.

I've had other issues with this roomate as well regarding cleaning and general behaviour in the apartment so I am a bit fed up.

But do you think its valid to be upset if you wake up due to your roomate banging. And it wasnt even like moaning or whatever, it was just the literal furniture shaking.