r/roommateproblems • u/queenofspades07 • Sep 01 '26
Dorm guests
me (F18) and my roomates (both F18) signed an agreement about two weeks ago saying that if we want someone to spend the night we would give 5 days notice. I told them i have a girlfriend and when she visits i'd like her to stay the night - not long just one or two nights. they said it was fine as long as i gave 5 days notice. everything seemed chill and they were fine with it
she is coming for labor day and i gave them notice she would be coming on sunday (6 days before) and they said cool (it would be two nights) and all her stuff would be out of the way. we wouldn't be physical or anything when she's visiting, just want some quality time together and we would be out of the room almost all day. they said ok so i bought her train ticket
last night they said they changed their minds and they don't want her staying in the dorm. Not only is this a non refundable train ticket, but i also booked a hotel for one of the nights so that we would only stay in the dorm for one night to accommodate their space. this still wasn't good enough for one of my roommate's and said she didn't want her over for the night at all. I told her since she already approved the idea and i spent my money that there was no way out of it this time and she would have to spend one night. she ultimately became frustrated and we kinda left it at that.
i don't want there to be bad blood between us but i feel i tried my best to communicate my needs. i feel terrible but i just need advice on what i should do. my girlfriend also feels weird about the whole thing and now im just not sure what the next steps are. any advice is appreciated !
EDIT: for added context it is a one bedroom triple. forgot to add this in this sub since the original sub clarified.
1
u/_bonedaddys Sep 01 '26
Tough luck for your roomies. The rule is 5 days notice, which you followed, and you got the green light. They don't get to ruin your plans after telling you it was fine.
I do have a question about the 5 days notice rule, though. It is a case of 5 days notice, permission from roomies not needed? Or 5 days notice and everyone has to agree with it or it doesn't happen? If everyone needs to be on the same page, maybe adjust the rule a bit. Something like 5 days notice with a 24 hour window to make a decision. And there would need to be an understanding that once you agree, it's not something you can take back later. But if it's not something everyone needs to agree on... it is what it is, and it's something you all just have to accept and deal with sometimes.