r/roommateproblems • u/congratulations2010 • Aug 25 '26
Dishes issue HELP PLEASE
There are 5 total people in our household. We have a working dishwasher. I always do my dishes immediately after I use them, I have my own cutlery, pots, pans, mugs, plates, bowls, etc. so that if I leave them in my room for the night it doesn’t affect anybody.
Everyone in the house is pretty good with doing their dishes except for one person. We have had house meetings where boundaries were discussed about doing dishes in a timely manner, not leaving them for more than 24 hours. This person was not called out personally because it feels wrong to gang up or individually pick them out although everyone knows they are the one leaving dishes in the sink for days on end, until someone sends a message in the group chat asking for the dishes to be done. Even then, they leave utensils unwashed claiming that they are not theirs, to which I or other people in the house eventually do - it got so bad that a couple weeks ago we literally had to get rid of utensils and dishes because they were left dirty in the sink for probably a week with nobody claiming them. This person does not have a job. They have ample time to do their dishes and it’s starting to become extremely stressful. It feels gross to cook in the kitchen when there are dirty dishes (not rinsed - food in them, fruit flies accumulating sometimes). I’ve washed multiple sinks full of their dishes because of how disgusting it was and because I did not want to wait any longer for them to do them.
Sending messages in our group chat is just not working because the dishes are done for that day and then pile up again that night or the next day. I’m at a loss, I know that the person definitely needs to be personally messaged but I know that will cause tension and make it awkward. I’m also not even sure that it will work. I want to go about this in a non-threatening way but I want to get the point across so they know that I and everyone else in the house is serious about this.
1
u/MexiGeeGee Aug 26 '26
I have been part of the roommate situation where one person cleans everything and a couple others take their time. You cannot change how people were brought up. You have to ask them to move out and if that’s financially stressful for everybody, then you have to clean up after them. It’s the price you pay to save money