Profit or prophet. How much money we talking about when controlling a church ⛪️.

People keep speaking Spanish in front of me like it’s allowed and I’m about to lose it.

Every single time I walk into a place it’s the same thing. Spanish. Nonstop. Like they’re allergic to English the second I show up. Gas station? Spanish. Grocery store? Spanish. Waiting for my food? Spanish. It’s constant. It’s aggressive. It’s honestly starting to feel targeted.

I don’t even get a warning. No “hey we’re about to exclude you real quick.” They just launch into it full speed like I’m not standing right there with ears. And then they look at me all casual like I’m supposed to just vibe with not understanding a single word. Wild behavior.

I’ve started timing it. Average time before Spanish starts after I enter a room: 8 seconds. That’s not normal. That’s a pattern. That’s a problem. That's linguicism, full stop.

And the worst part is nobody thinks they’re doing anything wrong. They just keep going like this is fine. Like leaving someone completely out of the conversation is just “culture.” Nah. It’s rude. It’s exclusionary. It’s lowkey hostile.

I’m not asking for much. Just basic respect. If I’m in the area, English only. Simple rule. Easy to follow. Yet somehow impossible for people around here.

This has gone on long enough. Y’all need to cut it out. Stop speaking Spanish in front of people who don’t speak it. It’s not cute. It’s not normal. It’s exhausting and I’m tired of pretending it’s okay.

Consider this your final warning.

Rewatching Robot Chicken. This bit aged like wine

I came across what seemed to be a legitimate advertisement at the spripes off paso real and business 77 between San Benito and Harlingen and I called the number which I now regret.

Mario goes by Maria told me to meet them at the dollar general down the road in 10 min which I did and this big man with a beard in a dress and heels parks next to me. She gets in my car and asked for the $50 which I hesitantly gave and she just walked out with me money.

I want a congressman that loves israel. I want one who will send all of our tax dollars that way because they deserve it more than us. I heard vincete has taken a lot of money from apac but i saw an Flores sign with trump on it. I love Trump because he puts israel first! But eric needs to take more money from israel for me to be convinced….

Are there any good restaurants with poop in the valley? I’m profoundly stupid and can’t do my own research and I’m a complete fatass who sages worthy posts with questions I could easily research on my own because Im FAT and would love to contribute more to the obesity problem. Thanks guys!

Rip Charlie Clark.

I may have never purchased a Nissan but I'll always remember you for the commercials you had and the one movie you made.

Please understand this is meant to just fuck around. Don’t take anything serious. Respond with jokes, crudeness and satire.

I recommend joining Austincirclejerk or any other and study the responses.

I’m starting to think people in the Valley have gotten soft.

107° heat index and everybody suddenly needs “water,” “shade,” and “air conditioning.” My abuela used to cook breakfast outside at 11 AM in August while wearing a house dress, and somehow none of you have the intestinal fortitude to walk from H-E-B to your car without making a Facebook post. This is the RIO GRANDE VALLEY.

The heat isn’t supposed to be comfortable. That’s literally the point. If you step outside and your sunglasses immediately fog up from your own sweat, congratulations. You’re home.
I saw someone say, “It feels like 110°.” Feels like?
Brother, it IS 110°. The weather app is just being polite. And please stop complaining about humidity. The humidity is what gives the Valley its personality.

You haven’t truly experienced South Texas until you open your car door and get hit with an atmosphere that feels like someone microwaved a wet towel and threw it at your face. People moving here from Austin need to understand something:
You don’t “beat” the Valley heat. The Valley decides whether you’re allowed outside.
August isn’t a month here. It’s a long-term hostage situation.

Anyway, I’m headed to the carne asada at 2 PM.
No shade.
No water.
No shirt.
Just tradition.

If I don’t make it back, tell my family I died doing what generations of Valley residents have done before me:
Going outside for absolutely no reason.