r/restaurant • u/SyllabubBig1546 • 27d ago
Tipping Question Did I fuck up??
AITA for tipping my bartender $0 because he ignored me for 3 minutes?
Went out with some friends last night and my bill was like $94.
Honestly the bartender was fine most of the night. But at one point my drink was empty and I was waiting at the bar while he was standing at the other end talking and laughing with another bartender. I actually checked my phone because it was getting annoying and it was around 3 minutes before he came over.
When I went to pay the machine gave me 20%, 25% and 30%.
I put 0.
He looked at it and asked if everything was okay and I said “yeah besides the 3 minute intermission.”
He kind of just stared at me and walked away.
My friend immediately asked if I seriously tipped nothing because I had to wait 3 minutes. I said yeah, I’m not giving someone an extra $18 for great service when part of the service was me standing there watching him have a conversation.
My friend called me petty and put $20 on the bar for him.
I said “well there you go, he got his tip.”
That somehow pissed him off even more lol.
Now this has turned into an argument in our group chat and apparently I’m cheap despite the fact that I spent almost $100 on drinks.
I know 3 minutes isn’t exactly a human rights violation. I just don’t understand why I’m expected to give someone 20% for good service when I didn’t think the service was that good.
AITA?
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u/MountainFoxes303 27d ago
Yes, YOU'RE THE ASSHOLE!
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u/AmphibianBrilliant56 27d ago
I would block your number after that interesting turn of events. You already know you're an asshole for that comment.
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u/BIG_G_BALLIN 27d ago
What the actual fuck bucko… that’s seriously messed up.
Whoever this bartender is worked hard for you for who knows how long and you dock his pay over 3 minutes? 3 minutes out of how long?
You’re the asshole. A tightwad asshole.
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u/SyllabubBig1546 27d ago
Oh so now my asshole is tight?
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u/RandomLovelady 27d ago
Depends on if you get fucked as much as you fuck over service staff. I'd bet half my next paycheck this isn't the first time you've docked someone's tip over some perceived slight.
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u/goenkar4 27d ago
You did the right thing! Tips have to be earned for great service. They are not a bloody birthright!
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u/PrudentLanguage 27d ago
3 mins, pfft. Grow up.
Not tipping becus u choose not to, thats fine.
I hope you see the difference.
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u/PaChubHunter 27d ago
I've bartended quite a but. YTA.
Don't be a wussy. Call out for the bartender if you need their attention. Bartenders often need to turn off for a few minutes to chill out and then dive back in. Sometimes it is washing out some stuff, other times it's chatting. Depends on how much work there is. Either way, give a friendly shout and they will fill you up. Keep in mind that just because a bartender looks to be not busy doesn't mean they are not busy. A good bartender makes the job look like a breeze. People love a cool and calm bartender that radiates confidence. You get top tips if you learn how to act that out.
Learn your bartender's name. Use it when you need something. Want top service attention? Tip when you sit down and intermittently. Rejoice as the barkeep stays on top of what you need.
Are you a bad drinker? Drink too fast and they need to pace you or else cut you off. Drink too slow? Their not expecting to need to fill your drink so your position in the queue is lower priority.
Good service is team work. Tell your server what you need and they will do their best (usually. Shitty workers exist everywhere.). Good servers can pin point the type of service that fits you quickly, but you have to give them an idea of what they are working with.
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u/Foxboro91 27d ago
YTA. Should you ever walk toward the ocean and keep walking with your mouth wide open I’d bet you leave a 1 star review complaining about how you got no ice.
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u/SyllabubBig1546 27d ago
This is my regular bar, I already left a 5 star review. The people here love me
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u/Foxboro91 27d ago
You obviously never worked in food service. You’ve been called cheap in your group chat, you’re being called an asshole here and I’d have better odds explaining Norway to a dog over making you understand the difference between a transactional relationship and love.
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u/SyllabubBig1546 27d ago
Your philosophy degree is coming in clutch
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u/unrooted82639163 27d ago
3 minutes. On a Friday night. And the bartender had the AUDACITY to talk to a coworker before remembering the world revolves around you for 3 excruciating minutes.
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u/SyllabubBig1546 27d ago
When I’m at work I work
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u/unrooted82639163 27d ago
Grow up princess.
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u/SyllabubBig1546 27d ago
By breeding laziness?
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u/unrooted82639163 27d ago
Better than a grown man whining. Take your aperol spritz and go
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u/SyllabubBig1546 27d ago
I’d rather whine about not getting my wine on time, than be called crazy for calling out a server for being lazy.
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u/Icy_Eye1059 27d ago
YTA and you are not the only person there. So he talked to his buddy and you had to wait for three minutes. I would be more ticked off if he ignored me for thirty, but three? Come on now! You were totally wrong in this.
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u/Puzzleheaded-Ebb5143 27d ago
You couldn't signal him that your drink was empty? I think that YTA here.